disconcertainly Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 "No Contact" How long would do the no contact thing and expect results? I guess how long would it take for him to contact me? And would you say No Contact works?
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Hi again disconcertainly, I'd say it does usually work. Last time, I got a call about 3 months later... but by then I was dating again and had gotten on with my life. Which I guess is part of the point of No Contact
Author disconcertainly Posted January 30, 2005 Author Posted January 30, 2005 I guess I just dont know.
Pocky Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 What type of NC are you referring to? The NC that enables you to completely remove the person from your life therefore affording you the opportunity to move on or the NC that tries to dupe the person into missing you so much that they come crawling back hoping you'll be a part of their life again?
Author disconcertainly Posted January 30, 2005 Author Posted January 30, 2005 I want to be a part of his life.
upsetnhurt Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 disconcertainly, "No Contact" is not to be used as a means to win someone back. It is to be used as a means for you to move on. It took me two months to realize this as I too went through a emotional breakup. The more I open my eyes to see relationships between people and the love that two people can have for eachother in a "normal" relationship, the more I realize that what I had was not "normal". That is not to say that two people who breakup are not great people themselves nor is it to say that I was not in love, it is just to say that some circumstance caused the relationship not to succeed. NC will allow you the time to reflect back on your relationship and determine what worked and did not work. Learn from it and make sure to incorporate those thoughts into any new relationship you get into. It takes time though as you need time to go through all of the necessary stages of a breakup, that being denial, anger, sadness, acceptance, etc......When you feel better you will realize that what you had was not enough and you both deserve more in life. In time you will realize that he too needs to figure this out for himself. Who knows what will happen in the future, but don't use NC as a way to keep hope alive for both of you.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Hey Pocky, you're cynical, but I had to laugh when I read your post! Upsetnhurt has a really good point. The idea is to move on with your life. The paradox is that this is often the best position for the one you loved to find you in if they came back later. There's something attractive - even a dignity - about strong mates who can carry on. I guess that deep down we all have a Darwinian thing in us. Seek out the strongest mate. But there are NO guarantees. If this seems harsh, bear in mind that I'm living the same situation as you. And my ReluctantJuliette will probably never commit. Not even to me
mt_joy Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 No contact means just that. There shouldn't be any confusion here. Move on and forget about him. If he wants you, he'll call you, but no telling when. Or even if he'll call. Don't sit around waiting. Joy MT Student
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