semco Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I recently had a woman come up to me, whom I have been friends with for quite sometime, unexpectedly come up to me and say "I was thinking about you last night and I like you". It was so out of the blue I was so totally caught off guard by it that I didnt even respond to what she had said, then she says "You like me to, but Iam in a place in my life where I have this kid and house to take care of. Then says "We are still friends right?" Why would she feel the need to say something like this?
MrMeh Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 She was probably waiting for something to simply pressure her to tell you how she felt about you. Her dream relieved her of her secret.
Author semco Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Not that I dont appreciate the responses but I was looking for some opinions from a couple women.
topaMAXX Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Not that I dont appreciate the responses but I was looking for some opinions from a couple women. Lesson 1: Don't take advice about women from women (they don't know themselves). Lesson 2: Don't date women with children (unless you have children too). And, yes, she is attention seeking. 2
D.Mc. Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Rightly or wrongly, women still don't take the initiative in telling men they like them, even if they're friends already. She may have been taking a huge emotional leap in telling you this, & when you didn't respond (just due to surprise), she had to save her ego by the "still friends" comment, even though she might have been totally embarrassed for what she said to you. If you are never going to see her as anything more than a friend, never bring up this incident. If now you see her in a different light, then you might want to try & talk about this, stressing strongly that you just were speechless, not that your lack of response was a lack of interest. BTW, does the kid have a dad still in mom's life? That will complicate everything. In that case I concur w/the attention seeking portion, but otherwise, she was seeking attention from you as a man, not just a male friend. 3
RonaldS Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I'll translate: 'I'm batsh*t, but we can still f*ck'
tekkenfan2 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I think DMC hit the nail on its head If you are interested I think you should let her know and also give her good reasons why you and her can work and make each other happy etc.
OhThatGirl Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Wait. Was this TRULY out of the blue? Or had you been flirting or sending other messages (beyond friendship) to her? Even if not on purpose.. If you may have been sending out signs she could have interpreted as romantic interest, it sounds like she was trying to tell you she's given it some consideration, likes you, but has other priorities but still wants to be friends. If you haven't been sending out those signals, maybe someone else mentioned to her that you could be interested? Or here's a really bold idea... Why don't you just ASK her what she was talking about? In a nice way? There may be some misunderstanding or a piece you're missing. 1
OhThatGirl Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 And... I've said it before, I will say it again: The lion and antelope analogy is worthless. Women want to be hunted. So yes, we will give you tips on how to do it in such a way that is appealing. Antelope do NOT want to be hunted and will therefore give you ****ty advice on how to hunt/kill them. Got it? Want a woman? Ask women how to get her. If men had all the answers there wouldn't be so many single ladies. We would be falling helplessly in love with you men because you got it all figured out over your game of poker last week. 4
johnpatric Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I think she think you like her and wanna relationship with her, but she is not ready for the relationship for her that's why may be she said that...
iiiii Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Rightly or wrongly, women still don't take the initiative in telling men they like them, even if they're friends already. She may have been taking a huge emotional leap in telling you this, & when you didn't respond (just due to surprise), she had to save her ego by the "still friends" comment, even though she might have been totally embarrassed for what she said to you. What s/he said (and I'm a girl)! Sounds like this girl is interested in you, and thought you were interested in her, and felt like something had to be said to bring the subject out into the open.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Rightly or wrongly, women still don't take the initiative in telling men they like them, even if they're friends already. She may have been taking a huge emotional leap in telling you this, & when you didn't respond (just due to surprise), she had to save her ego by the "still friends" comment, even though she might have been totally embarrassed for what she said to you. If you are never going to see her as anything more than a friend, never bring up this incident. If now you see her in a different light, then you might want to try & talk about this, stressing strongly that you just were speechless, not that your lack of response was a lack of interest. BTW, does the kid have a dad still in mom's life? That will complicate everything. In that case I concur w/the attention seeking portion, but otherwise, she was seeking attention from you as a man, not just a male friend. I agree with the above. And I am a woman.
Emilia Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Rightly or wrongly, women still don't take the initiative in telling men they like them, even if they're friends already. She may have been taking a huge emotional leap in telling you this, & when you didn't respond (just due to surprise), she had to save her ego by the "still friends" comment, even though she might have been totally embarrassed for what she said to you. If you are never going to see her as anything more than a friend, never bring up this incident. If now you see her in a different light, then you might want to try & talk about this, stressing strongly that you just were speechless, not that your lack of response was a lack of interest. BTW, does the kid have a dad still in mom's life? That will complicate everything. In that case I concur w/the attention seeking portion, but otherwise, she was seeking attention from you as a man, not just a male friend. Agree with this. Perhaps she misread signals from you and thought you were interested. She tried to backpedal afterwards when there was no reaction from you.
Author semco Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Wait. Was this TRULY out of the blue? Or had you been flirting or sending other messages (beyond friendship) to her? Even if not on purpose.. If you may have been sending out signs she could have interpreted as romantic interest, it sounds like she was trying to tell you she's given it some consideration, likes you, but has other priorities but still wants to be friends. If you haven't been sending out those signals, maybe someone else mentioned to her that you could be interested? Or here's a really bold idea... Why don't you just ASK her what she was talking about? In a nice way? There may be some misunderstanding or a piece you're missing. It really was truly out of the blue, I was totally caught off guard by it. Of course I also know that there has always been a connection. Obviously I care about this women or I wouldnt be posting this. Relationships at work are always a struggle, something I have always tried to stay away from and was kinda of the belief that she felt the same way. Also I think its poor advice to say that you shouldnt date a woman with kids, kinda limits your choices these days. I actually prefer when the real father is at least present in the children's lives.
preraph Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I'm female. Sounds like she thinks you like her more than just a friend and was letting you know she's not going there and just wants to remain friends.
Author semco Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 I'm female. Sounds like she thinks you like her more than just a friend and was letting you know she's not going there and just wants to remain friends. The problem I have with this is, any convo's we would have she would always come to me, I never went to her area to talk to her, she always came to mine. I only ever made one sexual type comment to her and she got a bit upset but still sat down with me even after that. Up to that point we had never discussed anything that even remotely suggested feelings at all. I am not saying I didnt like what she said either, just was caught off guard.
RonaldS Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I'm female. Sounds like she thinks you like her more than just a friend and was letting you know she's not going there and just wants to remain friends. 'I had a dream about you....' = 'I like you', pretty much 100% of the time. Especially when a woman says it.
tbf Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I recently had a woman come up to me, whom I have been friends with for quite sometime, unexpectedly come up to me and say "I was thinking about you last night and I like you". It was so out of the blue I was so totally caught off guard by it that I didnt even respond to what she had said, then she says "You like me to, but Iam in a place in my life where I have this kid and house to take care of. Then says "We are still friends right?" Why would she feel the need to say something like this?It sounds like the brain ninja thing. She's telling you she likes you and that you also like her but you're hesitant to get involved because of her life situation. In confessing her feelings, she didn't want it to interfere with your friendship. p.s. She's a terrible communicator.
Author semco Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 It sounds like the brain ninja thing. She's telling you she likes you and that you also like her but you're hesitant to get involved because of her life situation. In confessing her feelings, she didn't want it to interfere with your friendship. p.s. She's a terrible communicator. She does have a rough time with talking about her feelings, i think just talkin about personal stuff in general is difficult for her. I recently had a phone convo with her and told her if she didnt change that inability to talk about what she is thinking she wasnt ever gonna have a good relationship with anyone. She responded with "Once your programmed a certain way, its hard to change."
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I can't help but think that this is some form of passive aggressive attempt at letting you know she wants more with you. Yes, women might not take the initiative as often as men do which means that it must have taken a LOT of courage for her to throw out that comment in your direction only to then reel it back in as quickly as she threw. She may have done so in the hopes that it might prompt you chase after her if you felt the same. If you don't, the "just friends" comment might be something she was hoping would act as a neutralizer while still keeping her dignity in tact. At the end of the day, women just want to be pursued. Just one women's humble perspective
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Lesson 1: Don't take advice about women from women (they don't know themselves). Lesson 2: Don't date women with children (unless you have children too). Seems a bit simplistic if you ask me not to mention just plain wrong.
Author semco Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 I can't help but think that this is some form of passive aggressive attempt at letting you know she wants more with you. Yes, women might not take the initiative as often as men do which means that it must have taken a LOT of courage for her to throw out that comment in your direction only to then reel it back in as quickly as she threw. She may have done so in the hopes that it might prompt you chase after her if you felt the same. If you don't, the "just friends" comment might be something she was hoping would act as a neutralizer while still keeping her dignity in tact. At the end of the day, women just want to be pursued. Just one women's humble perspective You are the second person to say this, funny how we complain about ppl not being able to share and then when they do, we miss it. Now Iam not sure how to make up for it. I am thinking I under appreciated the whole thing. 1
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