eclecticsw Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) Hi, I'm new here... =) Anyway, I felt the need to join this forum because I need different perspective on certain things, support, advice...I feel like I've sucked my best friend dry with my garbage. Anyway, three years ago my husband and I separated. He became seriously depressed and went to live with his parents. He's still there. We tried working things out, it didn't work, so we decided to date others. I met this guy online who comes down to my state a few months out of the year to train people in the armed forces. Anyway, this guy is 9 years younger than me, but we clicked from the first time we saw each other. I met him about a month and a week before he was to leave for the base he is stationed at. Anyway, we went out several times. He had made it clear to me that he didn't want a relationship right now because both of his wives cheated on him because he doesn't live where they were living. Regardless, after a few dates we slept together. I initiated it. He didn't. He was a perfect gentleman throughout the entire time we spent time together and we spent a lot of time together. Anyway, the day after we slept together he called me. We went out to dinner that night. The day after that I didn't hear from him. We had agreed to meet that Monday for the last time since he was leaving on Thursday. On monday I contacted him about our meeting for later in the day and nothing. Finally he texted me and said "Yeah, we're on but I can't spend too much time because I have something to do for my job". I figured something was up so I called him out on it. He said he had met someone Saturday night, which is garbage because he had told me saturday night that he wanted his freedom and that he didn't want to be with anyone for a while. He never really gave me the reason why he decided to drift away but he did say this "I never meant to hurt you. That wasn't my intention. I should not have slept with you because I was afraid this would happen". I did tell him that I developed some feelings, but that I wasn't in love. Just developed a deep caring for him. Anyway, he left back to the base and I'm left feeling confused. I dont want to romanticize and say "Oh, he got attached emotionally and after sleeping together he got more emotionally attached and couldn't handle it". I don't think that's it. Again, I don't think he used me. He didn't seem like the type. I'm not sure what happened and I can't stop thinking about it. I needed to let it out there. I asked him in an email why he drifted away and got no response although we did text on Friday and today, but I initiated it. I'm not going to initiate anymore because you can't squeeze blood from a stone. I'm not going to force someone to like me or keep contact with me if they don't want to. Any thoughts.... Edited March 31, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Trovador Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Honestly? He had is fun and he must think he under date you. Also, the fact that you are still married had some weight on his cold attitude. It was just ONS and you shouldn't invest neither thoughts and emotions on some casual encounter (in his mind, that is, a real gent would have appreciated fully meeting you)...
Author eclecticsw Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Honestly? He had is fun and he must think he under date you. Also, the fact that you are still married had some weight on his cold attitude. It was just ONS and you shouldn't invest neither thoughts and emotions on some casual encounter (in his mind, that is, a real gent would have appreciated fully meeting you)... The brutal truth is what I prefer to hear and I suppose you are right. I'm still married because of my husband's insurance, but is never really thought about that affecting him until now...especially since he has been cheated on. I'm just going to move on and try not give this any more thought. Thank you!
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