writergal Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I'll start, based on personal experience (that I've said/guys have said): Did you just fart? Are you trying to dig to China? Um, that's not my name...my name is... (During orgasm) Wait...I thought you said you were an Atheist? Now I know why she dumped you... Are you trying to give me rug burn? Jeez! 4
Haydn Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 `I start work really early` `Where`s the TV remote?` `Have you seen my knickers?` `What exactly are you doing down there?` ` 3
Silly_Girl Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Anne's posted my first thought! So... 'My ex used to do *this* to me...' 'Can you hurry it up?' 'Is that noise your parents?' 'I can't feel much' 1
Author writergal Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 Anne's posted my first thought! So... 'My ex used to do *this* to me...' 'Can you hurry it up?' 'Is that noise your parents?' 'I can't feel much' Lol! I can so relate!!
anne1707 Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 "You're gonna marry me, right?" Now Carrie, why on earth did you have to go and say that? 1
Author writergal Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 "Your feet smell." "No, YOUR feet smell." "What do you plan to do with that exactly?"
Koopa Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 *girl falls off bed* yell out "5 second rule" "I think you broke my dick" 3
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I used to tell the ex: "You've got 10 min, Family Guy's coming on." 2
Koopa Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I used to tell the ex: "You've got 10 min, Family Guy's coming on." HA HA that reminds me of a time when I was receiving oral on the couch but the tv was still on (think it was futurama) and as I was watching thinking this is the best thing ever and the only thing that could top this would be if I had a sandwich too, I hear "ARE YOU WATCHING TV?!?!" I immediately lied and said no then reached for the remote and turned it off. 3
GoreSP Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 What kinds of people are you peeps having sex with?? lmao! 3
Candy_Pants Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 "Where's the condom?" "What condom?" "Was that rash there before?" "Which one?" "Can I pop your back pimples?" 2
Candy_Pants Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 What kinds of people are you peeps having sex with?? lmao! Oh, these are supposed to be real? Okay then. (Talking to vagina) "Will you marry me?" (Me talking pretending to be my anus) "Are you into polygamy?" "Did I earn that steak?" "Have the police left?" "Can I sleep up here?" (Shibari) 1
Author writergal Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 "I really don't like your sister." [he's dancing in the dark] me to him: "Who are you, John Travolta?" "I think we ruined your leather couch." 1
Author writergal Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Don't worry, I'm not actually recording. lol! and then eek!
Johnson1 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) Is it in yet? OUCH! LOL It's nice to know I'll never have to hear a woman say that! She'll know! Edited March 31, 2014 by Vocals5 1
Poppyolive Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 My ex once said after eating me out "over one million served" He used to make a chainsaw/lawnmower sound and get his tongue ready Or as a joke mid sex he would say looking at his dick..."does this look infected" 2
Author writergal Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 My ex once said after eating me out "over one million served" He used to make a chainsaw/lawnmower sound and get his tongue ready Or as a joke mid sex he would say looking at his dick..."does this look infected" I love a good comedy set during sex. I've often wondered what it'd be like to have sex with a really funny comedian. Like, would he tap my vagina and say, "is this thing on?" 3
aussietigerwolf Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 thanks, I needed that. *rolls over and goes to sleep* 2
Poppyolive Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 @writergirl I totally agree....funny memories...the best sessions are with jokes!! 2
Author writergal Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 thanks, I needed that. *rolls over and goes to sleep* Ouch! Did he/she say that to you?
Poppyolive Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 thanks, I needed that. *rolls over and goes to sleep* Ha...my bit used to put earplugs in (his ears of course) when we were near finished to be ready to pass out peacefully. Oh sometimes he would fall asleep down there and say he was home...uaualky when some dri ks were involved... I used to just let him sleep there...
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