I just came back from possibly the least-bearable date I've ever been on ...

[Lipitor11]

That's tough! I know how that feels. Last year, I met a guy on okcupid, he was a very well known chef in the area. He suggested that I add him on facebook, so I did, we texted a few times before meeting up, it was awkward, no "spark" there, also felt like it was a job interview, we had a few laughs, told me he would text me, he never did, never heard from him again. I really did get my hopes up for disappointment.

[Grumpybutfun]

Were you sluggish due to your Ebola virus?

G

[warrenorabbits]

Were you sluggish due to your Ebola virus?

G

 

No, I hasten to add that the Ebola was a hypothetical disease. As for me, food poisoning from a gas station breakfast sandwich.

 

You can be a great conversationalist (I peg myself as decent-to-good), but if you're with a person that you don't click with, it's not gonna change things. Really, I could tell there wasn't gonna be a date 2 from the outset.

 

A phone conversation could have helped screen but for now I'm in the "no phone before the first date" camp. That may change, but I used to be on the other extreme and I ended up getting attached way before it was justified.

[warrenorabbits]

I have to admit that I contributed the most cringe-worthy moment to the experience, though. The conversation turned to bars we like and I mentioned a gay bar. Obviously confused, she asked if I had made a mistake. My reply was ... wait for it ...

 

No, I go both ways.

 

God in heaven. That's got to be one of the grossest phrases in English.

 

I had been in the house mostly asleep all weekend, so please be gentle.

[Mo_Do]

I haven't gotten attached to any of the ones I spend any amount of time with on the phone, if you click, you click.

 

If you find yourself prying to make it through a simple phone call, then the date isn't going to fare much better (from my experience).

 

Keeping it "text only" just hides that until the last possible moment.

 

This is especially important for guys dating on a budget and have to pick and choose their battles, call first!

[thecrucible]

I really do think phone/skype calls are a good idea prior to a date. I always try and initiate a skype call/get them to send pictures to prove they are who they say they are. I try and joke about it like "aww let's hope you're not an axe murderer". It's good to get it to meeting stage quickly so you're not wasting time exchanging messages for too long.

 

Phone calls can tell you a lot. I might be going on a date Thursday and I'm already not sure about the guy, just because of one skype call. During the call, I found out that he had a son (which he didn't put in his profile) which he said he doesn't tell girls about because they go off him; and then he went into lots of talk about how his last relationship ended and various woes. He wasn't being a complete downer but the fact he was talking about it sort of put me off. I don't even know if we have a lot of interests in common because a lot of the conversation was about that. He also looked and sounded different to how I imagined him....

 

Incidentally, pays to be open-minded about the ones you're not sure about as they might be hidden gems. I mean so far I've learnt that a lot of the ones I've taken an instant liking to are actually not so great/not even as attractive as their pictures suggest.

 

I think a phone call also shows what the person's general energy level/demeanor is. For instance I'm quite quiet (not a mouse just a reflective introverted person) and some guys want a girl who's more high energy/bubbly which is fair enough. That's not something you can always get a sense of in a profile. I think if there's a good kind of emotional chemistry then you can get some sense of it in a phone call. I also think it's a good way to weed out the non-serious guys/guys who aren't into you 'cause they're not the kind of guys who'll be bothered taking a phone call. I actually made a few guys vanish from my mail box, which, ironically, I'm quite happy with because it means I know they're not interested and I don't have to waste time doing a date with them.

 

The more experience I have in dating, the better I know myself. And the better I am able to make quicker decisions. Some people think I'm too quick to reject in certain cases but it's only based on a developing knowledge of myself and what moves me. My best friend was uncertain about this guy and dated him for around a year. Then she met a guy a month later and they are now moving in together after 8 months of dating. Some might think that too soon but it's easy for them because they know they're right for each other.

[WP4046]

I really do think phone/skype calls are a good idea prior to a date. I always try and initiate a skype call/get them to send pictures to prove they are who they say they are. I try and joke about it like "aww let's hope you're not an axe murderer". It's good to get it to meeting stage quickly so you're not wasting time exchanging messages for too long.

 

Phone calls can tell you a lot. I might be going on a date Thursday and I'm already not sure about the guy, just because of one skype call. During the call, I found out that he had a son (which he didn't put in his profile) which he said he doesn't tell girls about because they go off him; and then he went into lots of talk about how his last relationship ended and various woes. He wasn't being a complete downer but the fact he was talking about it sort of put me off. I don't even know if we have a lot of interests in common because a lot of the conversation was about that. He also looked and sounded different to how I imagined him....

 

Incidentally, pays to be open-minded about the ones you're not sure about as they might be hidden gems. I mean so far I've learnt that a lot of the ones I've taken an instant liking to are actually not so great/not even as attractive as their pictures suggest.

 

I think a phone call also shows what the person's general energy level/demeanor is. For instance I'm quite quiet (not a mouse just a reflective introverted person) and some guys want a girl who's more high energy/bubbly which is fair enough. That's not something you can always get a sense of in a profile. I think if there's a good kind of emotional chemistry then you can get some sense of it in a phone call. I also think it's a good way to weed out the non-serious guys/guys who aren't into you 'cause they're not the kind of guys who'll be bothered taking a phone call. I actually made a few guys vanish from my mail box, which, ironically, I'm quite happy with because it means I know they're not interested and I don't have to waste time doing a date with them.

 

The more experience I have in dating, the better I know myself. And the better I am able to make quicker decisions. Some people think I'm too quick to reject in certain cases but it's only based on a developing knowledge of myself and what moves me. My best friend was uncertain about this guy and dated him for around a year. Then she met a guy a month later and they are now moving in together after 8 months of dating. Some might think that too soon but it's easy for them because they know they're right for each other.

 

 

Phone Skype? Hell no I want to relax in my place not look presentable