I just came back from possibly the least-bearable date I've ever been on ...

[warrenorabbits]

... and that's no insult to the girl. Our chemistry was, to put it mildly, non-existent. I felt like we were more in a job interview than on a date; the conversation was leaden and forced. Granted, I was recovering from an illness and so a little sluggish, but I don't think being in top form would have helped much.

 

It did give me a few laughs, though. At one point I was reciting the nutrition facts of a fibre-enriched candy bar they sold at the coffee shoppe. Shortly thereafter she said she would be heading out.

 

When you start reciting nutritional facts, that's when you know the date (and you two) are over ...

[WP4046]

... and that's no insult to the girl. Our chemistry was, to put it mildly, non-existent. I felt like we were more in a job interview than on a date; the conversation was leaden and forced. Granted, I was recovering from an illness and so a little sluggish, but I don't think being in top form would have helped much.

 

It did give me a few laughs, though. At one point I was reciting the nutrition facts of a fibre-enriched candy bar they sold at the coffee shoppe. Shortly thereafter she said she would be heading out.

 

When you start reciting nutritional facts, that's when you know the date (and you two) are over ...

 

 

 

Yeah I had a date like that last night. I knew that the only option on the table was

 

her coming to my house

 

OR

 

us never seeing each other again

 

 

 

LOL

[Mo_Do]

I had 1 last night and 1 this afternoon - both went well, which as you all know for OLD...it's VERY RARE to have 2 dates in a row (different girls) go well.

 

I think the one from this afternoon bumped the one from last night though

[WP4046]

I had 1 last night and 1 this afternoon - both went well, which as you all know for OLD...it's VERY RARE to have 2 dates in a row (different girls) go well.

 

I think the one from this afternoon bumped the one from last night though

 

 

What is your definition of going well?

[Mo_Do]

What is your definition of going well?

 

Both into each other, good conversation and a mutual want to see one another again. For me at least, that's rare.

 

Usually its like the OP explained (neither one is interested) or one is interested but the other isn't.

[ascendotum]

When you start reciting nutritional facts, that's when you know the date (and you two) are over ...

This cracked me up. Oh yeah but definitely true. You were pretty desperate for conversation weren't you, but I hazard a guess and say you were probably not getting much help from her. Job Interview style dates are ****** and you need to try steer the conversation into more light hearted, flirty, causal conversation territory as best you can.

[WP4046]

One example of a success was when this one girl sent me a text message while we were talking to each other

 

LOL

[nadinefleur]

This cracked me up. Oh yeah but definitely true. You were pretty desperate for conversation weren't you, but I hazard a guess and say you were probably not getting much help from her. Job Interview style dates are ****** and you need to try steer the conversation into more light hearted, flirty, causal conversation territory as best you can.

 

Sorry to hi-jack, but can you offer some examples of this? I am an introvert and find it hard talking to new people and making small talk, so going on dates is tough for me if the other person isn't making much effort and I feel like I need to get the conversation flowing... I always get paranoid that the questions I ask end up feeling like an interview :/

[WP4046]

Sorry to hi-jack, but can you offer some examples of this? I am an introvert and find it hard talking to new people and making small talk, so going on dates is tough for me if the other person isn't making much effort and I feel like I need to get the conversation flowing... I always get paranoid that the questions I ask end up feeling like an interview :/

 

 

Just talk about everything that's relevant. That's what helped me

 

The place you are in

the neighborhood you are in

whatever you are eating

likes

dislikes

[Do_The_Herp]

Sorry to hi-jack, but can you offer some examples of this? I am an introvert and find it hard talking to new people and making small talk, so going on dates is tough for me if the other person isn't making much effort and I feel like I need to get the conversation flowing... I always get paranoid that the questions I ask end up feeling like an interview :/

 

Nadine, it's really not that difficult. For starters, wherever you go, you can comment on something going on in the background of the date. That is less of a questioning sort of direction to take things, and it's more of a "think on your feet" sort of thing.. No pressure, though, just say whatever's on your mind.

 

Talk about something that happened earlier on in the day, maybe they have a story to relate. Talk about anything, really.. Think of things that don't require them to necessarily tell you anything specifically about themselves.. Things that will allow them to just talk about SOMETHING, to give an opinion of something.. ..

[Philosopher]

Nadine, it's really not that difficult. For starters, wherever you go, you can comment on something going on in the background of the date. That is less of a questioning sort of direction to take things, and it's more of a "think on your feet" sort of thing.. No pressure, though, just say whatever's on your mind.

 

Talk about something that happened earlier on in the day, maybe they have a story to relate. Talk about anything, really.. Think of things that don't require them to necessarily tell you anything specifically about themselves.. Things that will allow them to just talk about SOMETHING, to give an opinion of something.. ..

 

In my experience, with some people, the conversation comes easily and with others the conversation will end up being either an interview, an interrogation or at it's worst, just yes or no answers. Saying whatever is on your mind or commenting about something that happened earlier in the day will help little if you struggling to make much of a conversation to begin with.

 

My tip would be to have a good five to ten minute conversation on the phone before setting up the date. If during the conversation you feel like you are interrogating rather than chatting with each other, then don't go on a date with that person.

[WP4046]

In my experience, with some people, the conversation comes easily and with others the conversation will end up being either an interview, an interrogation or at it's worst, just yes or no answers. Saying whatever is on your mind or commenting about something that happened earlier in the day will help little if you struggling to make much of a conversation to begin with.

 

My tip would be to have a good five to ten minute conversation on the phone before setting up the date. If during the conversation you feel like you are interrogating rather than chatting with each other, then don't go on a date with that person.

 

 

but 90% of the people on this board think you shouldn't talk on the phone at all before meeting LOL

[Mo_Do]

Talking on the phone is a MUST. I met a girl a month ago that I didn't speak to on the phone, had I, I never would've bothered meeting her.

 

Text/E-mails don't tell you anything about their actual persona - and if you head into a date expecting one thing and end up getting something completely different, you wont like the results.

 

Had another that was amazing in e-mails/text and then she called - COMPLETELY different person on the phone than what I was expecting. Monotone, secretive, guarded etc and asked personal questions that were NONE of her business (at that point).

 

I went through and met with her and big surprise, it went nowhere.

 

Now If they're odd on the phone I don't meet them.

[bluegreen]

... and that's no insult to the girl. Our chemistry was, to put it mildly, non-existent. I felt like we were more in a job interview than on a date; the conversation was leaden and forced. Granted, I was recovering from an illness and so a little sluggish, but I don't think being in top form would have helped much.

 

It did give me a few laughs, though. At one point I was reciting the nutrition facts of a fibre-enriched candy bar they sold at the coffee shoppe. Shortly thereafter she said she would be heading out.

 

When you start reciting nutritional facts, that's when you know the date (and you two) are over ...

 

 

 

 

Bless you I needed this laugh

[soccerrprp]

but 90% of the people on this board think you shouldn't talk on the phone at all before meeting LOL

 

huh? I don't agree with this....

[WP4046]

huh? I don't agree with this....

 

 

 

they said you should ask her out through text

[katinlc]

If I had to talk on the phone with a potential date before meeting, I don't think I would ever have a date! I find it very awkward to try and make conversation over the phone with someone you don't know.

 

 

However, in real life I'm very easy to talk to and have yet to have a date with nothing to talk about or that went horribly bad (even if I wasn't interested in a second date, it's always been pleasant).

[Eternal Sunshine]

Most of my dates go bust because of lack of sexual chemistry rather than conversation. ..as I tend to screen that before hand.

[soccerrprp]

they said you should ask her out through text

 

SHOULD? Gobbly-gook! I always talk to the person I'm interested on the phone before meeting. I set up (most of the time and never by text) my dates after speaking to her over the phone.

[WP4046]

SHOULD? Gobbly-gook! I always talk to the person I'm interested on the phone before meeting. I set up (most of the time and never by text) my dates after speaking to her over the phone.

 

Well according to LS, in 2014 you ask out through text. Lol

[Philosopher]

SHOULD? Gobbly-gook! I always talk to the person I'm interested on the phone before meeting. I set up (most of the time and never by text) my dates after speaking to her over the phone.

 

I will always try to call them up and have a phone chat first however sometimes it is not just possible . Frequently the call just goes to voice mail or they just don't like talking on the phone before the date for some reason.

 

The dates where I have spoken to them first on the phone have almost always gone well, where as I have had quite a few shockingly bad dates when they have been arranged through text or email.

[Hello_is_it_me]

Talking on the phone is a MUST. I met a girl a month ago that I didn't speak to on the phone, had I, I never would've bothered meeting her.

 

Text/E-mails don't tell you anything about their actual persona - and if you head into a date expecting one thing and end up getting something completely different, you wont like the results.

 

Had another that was amazing in e-mails/text and then she called - COMPLETELY different person on the phone than what I was expecting. Monotone, secretive, guarded etc and asked personal questions that were NONE of her business (at that point).

 

I went through and met with her and big surprise, it went nowhere.

 

Now If they're odd on the phone I don't meet them.

 

I disagree. I don't think phone calls are a must.

[Mo_Do]

I disagree. I don't think phone calls are a must.

 

They aren't "a must" I should reiterate that part, but they sure as hell ease the transition from "chat" to "meeting".

 

They're a double edged sword - most times I get off the phone and know for a fact I don't like the girl, but I go meet her anyway lol.

[Mo_Do]

Most of my dates go bust because of lack of sexual chemistry rather than conversation. ..as I tend to screen that before hand.

 

And you're likely missing out. I can't exactly put my generous endowment in my dating profile now can I? Or the fact that I get off on getting the girl off...and go for hours if I feel like it.

 

That stuff is all a pleasant surprise for her - if we even get that far.

[HappyLove]

Most of my dates go bust because of lack of sexual chemistry rather than conversation. ..as I tend to screen that before hand.

 

How would you know a lack of sexual chemistry on a first date when most are on their best behavior? This sounds a bit strange.