SilentPrayer Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 hey there, Hi ***** its almost 5 am here. I miss you do damn buch its incerdible how muych someone can affect you in a way thats is unspoken. This may mean little to you, but your the only one who manages to shock me in finding new things about me. I dont want to keep sending letters to you without any reply cause each time it really hurts me and i try ot be brave and hide it away and not get upsett but it does affect me. What i like about you, is that I dont need to say nothing at all and you allready know what I feel. I honestly would vex the gods and anything above if you didnt feel what I felt. Cause so far, I realize that you are "the one I love" It seems silly ,awkeward and i know I seem foolish but Im not afraid to tell you this. I know when I am wrong, I know when I am right, I know when I need to stand down, and I know when the time is to accept that i lost. But dammit, I WONT stand down, and I know I am right. either way, i miss you and love you.."soo soo soo sooo soo much" God...I dont know why...but I cant let go? It hurts too much to let go, I cant and I wont because if these feeligns are still there.."then why deny them"? mynute words cannot desribe in reality how much I miss you.what i miss the most is wrestling and fooling around laughing with you, and seeing your blue eyes light up.."by the way, they light up when your happy":) I miss the way they did that:) Connie~
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Hey Connie, I really feel for you. I nearly cried when I read your letter. Please don't send it to him right now though.... remember you're being strong, gentle and confident and giving him space and time to think. I'd really appreciate your input on my situation.... I think you'd have some insights. check out: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=396636#post396636
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 I sent the letter yesterday and got no reply. lol. I think my heart died, when I woke up and checked my mail first thing this morning. Every part of me feels like it just gave up. My heart is the weakest part of me, I can never protect it. He does not have feelings if he cant see that my soul is on those pages. What makes someone so cruel that they cant respond to someone who writes them a letter, that only states feelings. I didnt ask him to marry me or to have babys with me. I simply put my heart out on the pages and he kicked it back to me. He wont reply to anything, Ive tried. He is alone and just as misserable as I am. I know for a fact he hasnt seen anyone. Its been over a year and we see eachother every fiew months. Also try to talk when we can. Every month or so. Is all he wants is to have me when he sees me every so often. Im so confused, Im so sad. I just want to find a place safe. Its a sad day in my house, I hope the sun doesnt shine today.
PhillyCHeeZ Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 I am so sorry that you feel this way. You are truly an abmorable person for laying it out their like that. Pick your heart back up, dust it off and remind yourself that (You are a good person). You will move on, and find somebody who is just as great as you are. You deserve someone who can tell you they love you and send you letters. There is a light even in the darkest of places. Find your light and fallow it. Dont let this dark minded boy lead you astray. I will keep checking on you
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 Any help what so ever? Please..lol.. ??? Im over here.....no...over HERE!
NiCoLe20 Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 i dont think you should've sent the email... b/c now its just gonna hurt you more knowing he doesnt care b/c he obviously didnt respond back... i know this is hard... i have lost 2 boyfriends inmy pastwho i deeply cared about and who i loved very much... but LIFE GOES ON!!! ive met a lot of great ppl and friends ever since we broke up... you gotta realize theres soooo many more guys out there to just sit around and be stuck on one... if he truley cared, he would've emailed back right? take that as ahint and move on girl... its gonna be rough but you could do it!
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 Thanks Nicole, I really appreciate the advice. I am not talking to him anymore. I took him off my contact like and Ive managed to erase his number from my phone but not my head. I know how silly I was to send that e-mail. It was a last desperate try to hold onto someone. I shouldnt have to do that, he should be by my side going all through this with me but hes not. I respect his space and privacey and I will stop talking to him from now on. Maybe he is haveing just as much trouble as me but wont confess to it. I have no choice but to walk away. Its so damb painfull, I really hope I can make it. Thanks again, BY the way "the new guy" well, I made him hit the road. I told him off, he actually started argueing with me and starting calling me down about my LIFE. Horrible man he is. I just wish I could at least get laid~
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by SilentPrayer I just wish I could at least get laid~ Don't we all.......... But BAD BAD BAD idea on the letter....... You NEVER EVER let him know how vulnerable you are.. Now he has the upper hand. He know controls you. He's probably thinking "I'll let her dangle for a few days until I get back to her" b/c he knows he can. Don't talk to him call him acknowledge him whatsoever! Trust me it work even more when he thinks your not interested in him. Do not even write him an email asking what he thinks about the email you sent. Please back up. A guy hates nothing more that to see a woman be pushy...You WILL push him away. It was smart removing him from your phone and buddy list and email contacts... OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND Very insightful words!
Author SilentPrayer Posted February 1, 2005 Author Posted February 1, 2005 Hey thanks, He has allready "been proved" over and over again that he "used to" have me haning on a string. Its not anymore, my dummy strings have been cut and I like it. I am going on a date tonight, I hope things go well. I let the X's best friend know "he is also someone I talk to allot" that I am going on a date. I have cleared the X's calls and blocked his number. THis is going to be interesting. As far as I know he is dead or married or worst "still alive" I could care less. THe f***R wants to let me to be hopping on pins like that and enjoy it. LEts see how much he likes being the toy in his owne game. It aint nice, I am going to teach him a lesson. thanks GIRLs~
Author SilentPrayer Posted February 2, 2005 Author Posted February 2, 2005 The Dat went great. I dont have any false exspectations. The best part was that I got laid~ Yeah I dont care who says its wrong to have sex on the first date~ This is my first time doing it and I feel great.... Well anyways the date was swell, I enjoyed every min of it.
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 The Dat went great. I dont have any false exspectations. The best part was that I got laid~ appently that dates that include sex on the first date almost never work out... from my own experience this has always been the case my own recent ex and I took 7 weeks to get there and it was worth the wait i don't like one night stands or sex first night women, i never quite like them that much, i just want to get up the next day and run away from them also sex with strangers is always a tiny fraction of sex with your loved one! who agrees with me out there?
Author SilentPrayer Posted February 2, 2005 Author Posted February 2, 2005 Hey there, Say what you want. Youve slept with someone on a first date kinda thing 2. So dont be a hypo LOL. I havent called that guy, I havent even e-mailed him or anything. I told him that I would call so that he doesnt have to call. He has my number but I told him not to use it. lol, anyways. He asked to add me to his msn I said no thanks, I have enouph friends and left it as that. Came hom showered, went to work the next day and slept the afternoon in my staff room. I dont think I will do this again. It was just a fling and I needed it to feel a tadd better. Anyways... it was GREAT~
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 Well, BrainRightHeartWrong, this is quite ironic given your nick: my head agrees with you, but my heart understands why you did this, SilentPrayer. I'm just a week ahead of you in breakup terms and right now I have a strong urge to just get laid. I'm not gonna do this though, so as not to hurt another girl's feelings... Noblesse oblige
Author SilentPrayer Posted February 3, 2005 Author Posted February 3, 2005 IT was just a little BOOTY CALL~ WHo hasnt done it here? This is my first time, I havent talked to him since. NO contact for days now, its goin good 2. I like this. As for the X no contact either nothing at all:) be proud of me:) Im doing ok..
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