closed Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Ok, me and my girlfriend(Robin) have been through alot together.. we first started going out last march, so it's been about 10 months. Her parents are alcoholics and druggies and so are mine, so it seems we have had alot to relate too each other about. About 3 months into our relationship the first time, her friends whom are all guys(most of which are ex boyfriends) got between us, and she broke up with me. I was hurt then but I got over it, 3 weeks later she calls me, and we end up getting back together. So at this time (It's about June~) her mom and step dad get into a fight and she moves to an apartment with her mom. I walk to see her everyday. And I mean EVERYDAY. (An hour there and an hour home) We went through alot already, but she has finally giving up on those guy friends, and it's pretty much just me and her going through everything together. Her mom moves back in with her stepdad, and we aren't "allowed" to see each other anymore, but I somehow we manage to sneak on the phone and sneak off with each other just to see one another. At about this time school starts (2 weeks into august). At first she wouldn't even sit with me at lunch, she was sitting with all her guy friends at lunch. They have supposedly been her friends "forever" but about 3 weeks into the school year, she starts sitting with me at lunch, and we just sit by ourselves just the two of us. In about November, I get kicked out of school, the judge here in Texas thought it was best if I got my GED and started working, seeing as my home life isn't all that great. Well, at about this time her mom leaves her step dad AGAIN, and her mom and her real dad get back together in a trailor, again I am allowed to come over and see her every day. That lasts about one week, her mom sells their stuff for dope, and then runs back to her step dad. Robin finally stands up for herself and refuses to go back, she supposedly "hates" it out there. (they live 15 miles into the country). So she moves in with me, I think everything is great. At this time everyone starts pressuring me into getting married, being only 17 I thought it'd be better off to wait until I get into college, where I plan to study Nursing. I dont want to get married until I can support her, apparently this really hurts her. About 5 weeks into living together we get a computer, and internet. She gets a cell phone from her real dad. We bother overlooked each other for the social interaction of these other devices, she had all those guys on her cell phone, I stayed on the computer all day... So I guess I ignored her. Which I shouldn't have done. We fought a bit, got into arguments, nothing major. So last week she goes to her friend's house named Samantha, Friday night she wants to spend the night because they are going to the mall in the morning. I got a little upset I had this feeling that I knew something wasn't right. Like she was hiding something. So I put a few of her things on the porch (like 5 things) and tell her to come get her stuff because I don't want to be treated like crap. Well come to find out that shes got all those guys over at her friends house, we talk things out...and decide she needs to move home but it's better off to stay together. That monday she gets drunk at her house and cheats on me with one of those guys...I forgive her because I love her. And I am not talking to any other girls or anything... and tonight him and a bunch of his friends are spending the night out there with her... I have no clue what to do.. I love her to death..I did go psycho and threaten to kill myself and tell her I couldn't live without her, and that made things alot worse... But I am very confused she says she loves me and all this but she's still treating me like crap.. What to do? Any advice?
Stylin22 Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Well, start off with this...You know that you love her to death and all that right? What are you doing...nothing, you aren't looking for other girls or sleeping around. You haven't cheated at all. That sounds like love to me. Her definition of love has been to tell you to stay together but move out. But she has gone and has been in contact with other guys, which is fine, but now has cheated on you with him. BUT, continues to see them, and obviously you are uneasy about it. I see a lack of respect for the relationship of sorts. A bit in her defense though, I work with teenagers who come from situations like you've described and it's a life that can be chaotic at best...If you choose to hang in there, you may have to accept that she will do this for a while. You may have to accept that she may do this frequently and that you cannot trust her in the confines of an intimate relationship. Be her friend if you love her and support her. I can already tell you that she has a lot of issues to work through. There will come a time when she realizes some things. You are young with a lot to see in this world... For you pal, listen up. Stay in school and do something with yourself. If you come from a similar background, I hope that you are the one to take you out of it. I'm proud to hear your goals of becoming a nurse, trust me it's a profession that needs help. Get your GED or make school work again. But, STAY OUT OF THE COURTROOMS!!!! If you are posting here and are this caring, you are a good kid. Do something great and get out there and help some peeps....
closed Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 No no no, she just made out with him, if she had slept with another guy we would never talk to each other again... i just dont understand why it was perfect for a little while and now its all messed up again.
Stylin22 Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 There are some people out there who have a hard time dealing with stability. That's why place emphasis on how she grew up. Look it, already in your post you talked about how much she has bounced around, is that stable? And if she has drug addicted parents, how are they going to give her stability, more than likely, they have none of their own. Her mom was selling things to buy dope...I feel like there is a lot of issues here, tread carefully...don't get caught on an emotional rollercoaster, they are way too draining...
Stylin22 Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 P.S. some people think kissing is more intimate than sex...why would she even mess around? I dunno, I feel like you are going to protect her more than face reality...
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