FreedomRocks Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 The confusion is overwhelming me today. Maybe because I spent time with him this weekend, Friday night he picked me up from my friends house and stayed over and yesterday I helped him at his job. Him and his boys are moving to a new place and he is fixing it up. It just crushes me really, I am just so confused, we laugh together have fun together, the sexual attraction is still amazing. But I miss him, I miss living with him, I miss sleeping next to him every night. I feel completely relegated now. I wish I could just cut off all contact. I have held his hand throughout this whole break up. He claims to not want to be in a relationship yet we are essentially still in one! Hes 42 and I am 40, we are not kids. I just cant believe he threw us away and why not just stay away then? This has been going on now for 4months now since I moved out in December. He has told me I wasn't so easy to lose or let go of, he does love me etc. But he is a textbook love avoidant and this in/out push/pull hot/cold dynamic is driving me INSANE. I am just torn to shreds today and was looking for some support
Mcnulty Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 You are his safety net, you're still there and if you continue to be there, he doesn't have to address the off on situation. Minimize or cut contact, for you and you only. He may realize what he may lose, he may not, but then you can start healing.
Deltablues Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Freedom, I offer the same advice I did a couple of weeks ago -- if this is hurting too much, do the logical thing and break it off. NC was very painful for me, but it helped my partner and me both realize what we mean to each other. Tell him plainly what he means to you, leave the door open, but establish your terms and take it day by day. I went through two months of NC -- not a long time and it remains to be seen what the long term prognosis is for my relationship, but we are better for the time we spent apart. You are not kids and you obviously mean something to him. Give him the space he appears to need and wait. If he comes back, it will be with a newfound appreciation for you. And respect.
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