nickjd Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) I posted a thread a while ago about how I decided to leave Australia and my GF of 6 years after a serious bout of depression / homesickness and her eventually cheating because 'I don't love you no mo!' Well, the first few weeks were HELL here. I couldn't sleep, I constantly shook, vomiting, hibernating. I have since started doing home workouts, dips, pushups, situps etc to get the manhood juices flowing again and doing odd jobs here and there for family and friends. It's difficult for me to just 'carry on' as I'm now back in the UK with no contacts or employment. Anyway, I've never pleaded with her, but said many times how long is this break going to be. She couldn't tell me exactly, but wanted 3 months on her own. I've asked to cut things off and she's said give me time on my own. I ignored her for a week, I've not deleted her on FB as we have a lot of mutual friends and family. It's agreed we're having time apart. Anyway, surprise surprise I get an email from her with pictures of her hand in it telling me how she got her warts operated on and letting me know that our dog is still doing ok. If she wanted nothing to do with me, why would she send personal pictures and an email after ignoring her after a week? bread crumbs? - YES... reconciliation? - NO... She has apologized for how much she hurt me, but I can't tell if this is a trust building exercise from her or just her checking to see I'm not doing OK for myself. She wont take any pictures down from facebook and her relationship status is simply hidden. See, the way I look at it is this, we've fallen out, yes, but they have been the best 6 years of my life and we were talking about marriage, as were her family and grandparents. It's so tough, not because I can't find anyone else, (don't worry, I got hit on a LOT at the supermarket the other day) I still deep down love her even after the little stunt she pulled. Maybe things will change. As soon as I stop being in need of her, she starts reaching out. Is this normal? Since I left Australia, she has stopped putting up pictures of herself on the net showing off, fitness sites etc. Her circle of girlfriends are still going out clubbing but she's never in any of the pictures. The bloke she was flirting with doesn't seem to hang around much. My gut tells me she wants to be together again one day, or maybe I'm seeing a silver lining. My head tells me to give her plenty of time to think about the inconvenience she has caused. Realistically I think 3 moths apart is her way of getting over me. Edited March 30, 2014 by nickjd
Mr.Pine Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 My gut tells me she wants to be together again one day, or maybe I'm seeing a silver lining. My head tells me to give her plenty of time to think about the inconvenience she has caused. Realistically I think 3 moths apart is her way of getting over me. 3 moths heading to the flame. You're right. 3 moths is her way of letting you down easy. If she truly wanted things to work with the two of you, she would spend those 3 months WITH you working things out TOGETHER. Time apart is always a bad sign. Time apart means she wants to exercise her options. And when I say options, I mean other dudes. First of all, your biggest mistake was not blocking or deleting your facebook profile. Why torture yourself by looking at her pictures; imagining scenarios where she's banging someone else, or worse, waiting at home for you. Just because she's absent from a picture, does not mean she's sitting at home pining for you. It means she opted to stay home and bump uglies with one of her guy pals. I guarantee you, in 3 moths or months, you will have forgotten about her or punted her from her pedestal, IF you go hardcore NC. Facebook frolicking is considered stalking. The more you know... 1
Author nickjd Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 3 moths heading to the flame. You're right. 3 moths is her way of letting you down easy. If she truly wanted things to work with the two of you, she would spend those 3 months WITH you working things out TOGETHER. Time apart is always a bad sign. Time apart means she wants to exercise her options. And when I say options, I mean other dudes. First of all, your biggest mistake was not blocking or deleting your facebook profile. Why torture yourself by looking at her pictures; imagining scenarios where she's banging someone else, or worse, waiting at home for you. Just because she's absent from a picture, does not mean she's sitting at home pining for you. It means she opted to stay home and bump uglies with one of her guy pals. I guarantee you, in 3 moths or months, you will have forgotten about her or punted her from her pedestal, IF you go hardcore NC. Facebook frolicking is considered stalking. The more you know... The only means of contact we have each other is either email or facebook. I meant to say MONTHS, herp derp. Anyway, I can't bring myself to deleting her just yet as she has my car, our dog, our joint rental and various other possessions over there. We've spent 4 years working through my VISA to stay in Oz and she has to do go and do this because she needed some cake on the side... We spent 3 years in a LDR, then she stayed with me a month in the UK, then I stayed a month with her in Oz, I finally moved over in 2010. The funny thing is, she confessed to me her new flame she couldn't stand and grovelled to me not to leave her for good, but to go back to my family and think about what I actually want. Obviously she has made that decision for me by wanting the extra cock. Sure things got stale. Part of me wants to just call and say what do you want from me? We've done so much, I've worked so hard for all of this. It's hard to just throw it all away.
NiceGuy73 Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Bro take charge of this ship and cut of all loose ends
Mr.Pine Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 It's hard to just throw it all away. You're not looking at it from the correct angle. You are not throwing anything away. She did all the throwing. She threw YOU away. She wanted space, time apart AND she's banging someone new. I don't for a nanosecond believe she is miserable with him. How do I know? Herp derp! She's not with you and STILL with him. Get some mates to exchange pleasantries with her and get your crap back. You do not have to have any contact to make any exchanges of your material possessions. And I personally think you're using that exchange as a way of keeping this obviously DOA relationship alive. For the love of everything holy, go NC. Now. And for good...
Author nickjd Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 You're not looking at it from the correct angle. You are not throwing anything away. She did all the throwing. She threw YOU away. She wanted space, time apart AND she's banging someone new. I don't for a nanosecond believe she is miserable with him. How do I know? Herp derp! She's not with you and STILL with him. Get some mates to exchange pleasantries with her and get your crap back. You do not have to have any contact to make any exchanges of your material possessions. And I personally think you're using that exchange as a way of keeping this obviously DOA relationship alive. For the love of everything holy, go NC. Now. And for good... Yeah I've had plenty of GF's in the past and letting go was the easiest thing in the world at the time. However, living with someone else in a whole new country where the economy, food, weather, people are 100x better (minus the deadly wildlife) it's easy to say 'get over it' from the outside looking in. Put yourself in that situation. I played boss for a while by ignoring her and now she's poking. If she sends another email I will just ignore it this time. Thanks for the advice though, appreciate all the help I can get
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