JourneyLady Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) Okay so I got a message this morning... "Hello Pretty Smile" I said "Thank you sir! Hope this wet weather finds you well! :-D" At 8pm, he sends me: "Hello Pretty Woman How was UR day . Pretty Smile . (name)" Sigh... So being the polite lady that I am, I send back. "Day was good, thank you. Rainy though!" What is to be accomplished with this? The guy's photos don't strike me as someone that dorky. He's pretty good looking for his age, but his profile is minimal - still from what I read we might be compatible. OKC says we're 80% good. (While I don't trust their numbers exactly, I will say that usually if they put over 30% enemies, then there will be issues...) He can see right there that he messaged me already, but then he writes almost the same message again, after receiving a reply from me? It's just ... weird, and it happens so often -- or similar, where there's nothing to build a conversation on. In fact it's so rare it goes further than that I'm really sorry I blew off the last guy for not asking me out again. Even as a sometime chat buddy, he knew how to hold a good conversation. I'm not mad or upset that I get messaged like that -- I'm just wondering what the point is? If a man just likes to compliment women, he could surely find some other way to do that? There are guys out there just trying to get into ladies laps, but this isn't even that -- because there's no way to even start a "shall we meet" conversation. Has anyone got a clue as to what this behavior is for? I'm amused but highly curious! Edited March 30, 2014 by JourneyLady
Do_The_Herp Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Beats me. No idea why anyone would waste their time.. Sure, a compliment is nice, but repeatedly messaging someone like a broken record, regardless of their response? Weird indeed. lol
J21 Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Makes no sense, just ignore it. He types and talk like he's a robot.
Andy_K Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 is your profile full of other interesting things he could be mentioning?
angel.eyes Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 He's not interested in progressing things. I would just move on to others instead of worrying about it. You got essentially the same form email twice, so he's disorganized too. Disorganized and disinterested? Not a good combination to pursue. Focus your energy and time on those who seem genuinely interested. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 He's sending messages to a bunch of women there. He might not remember that he wrote you this morning. Ignore. 6
FitChick Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 He's sending messages to a bunch of women there. He might not remember that he wrote you this morning. Ignore. That happened to me. Generic messages, not responding to me specifically. He just wanted to string along a number of women until one would have sex with him. That must work for some men. You could get him to stop by saying, "Sorry, I don't see this progressing as our communication styles are too different. Good luck on your search!" 1
Poppyolive Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Totally get you. I'd stop chatting g after that same same message. Its kinda half assed and lame. From my experience online dating I like when some interests is pointed out or commented on in a message, like how I message boys. If its a hey, hey sexy, how you doing I ignore....because to me there's no effort or strong interest there. Usually I see it as...they're bored and probably send out 5 or 6 of those messages to other girls/boys. Some uniqueness goes along way...
newmoon Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 the first message was likely a mass emailed one and the second was probably just for you. he prolly forgot what he emailed everyone was starting the convo from the beginning again once he got a 'taker'
Author JourneyLady Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Update: well it has escalated. Now he is "looking forward to a spring walk" with me. In the meantime, there are several others starting out the same way, and I may have a catfish 2000 miles away as well. [And to answer the question, yes there was PLENTY in my profile to grab onto.) It's interesting. I went back and changed my profile to reflect how I will treat someone should they win my heart (backrubs, cookies, notes) and what I expect (msg me at least once a day and see me twice a week) plus a bunch of humorous statements (like the silly things "I am really good at"). Not sure if it's all that or changing back to the other photo which is a bit more eye-catching (less skin, more color). I dunno. In the meantime, I find myself wishing the other guy who wasn't enthused enough (1 date and lots of conversation) would come back with a change of heart... but I know that will fade in time. As well I am going out with a group twice this week to places I've been wanting to visit. I just find the "shotgun approach" rather strange. I've never been "bombarded" with messages, as some guys tend to think women always are. No, it's probably the upper 10% of women with looks that get that - with or without a good profile. Right now I have 4 messaging me at once and I think that's some kind of a record. :-) I intend to be very cautious however...
HappyLove Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 He's a waste if time, move on. "It's interesting. I went back and changed my profile to reflect how I will treat someone should they win my heart (backrubs, cookies, notes) and what I expect (msg me at least once a day and see me twice a week) plus a bunch of humorous statements (like the silly things "I am really good at")." That is WAYYYYY too much. Sounds desperate, pick me and I'll do xyz... Sounds like you're expecting too much too. A potential guy reading that may think, I don't even know this chicks name and she's telling me how many times a week I better see her. Glad you learned your lesson from the last guy. If you meet someone with potential give it a chance! I say 3 dates before you make a decision. 1st dates are just too awkward to go based on that. The second date is more likely the "real" date but whether you like him or not give it a third just to be sure. You have women out here sleeping with guys by then, then the guy goes poof. Not saying you do that but 3 dates should give you a good idea if a guy is worth pursuing. Why not send a message out to the guy you blew off? You have nothing to lose!
Babolat Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 "It's interesting. I went back and changed my profile to reflect how I will treat someone should they win my heart (backrubs, cookies, notes) and what I expect (msg me at least once a day and see me twice a week) plus a bunch of humorous statements (like the silly things "I am really good at"). " I would take this out. As a man, I find stuff like this unattractive. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Just bz someone looks good doesn't mean they have a personality. This guy is like talking to a ball of clay.
Author JourneyLady Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 "It's interesting. I went back and changed my profile to reflect how I will treat someone should they win my heart (backrubs, cookies, notes) and what I expect (msg me at least once a day and see me twice a week) plus a bunch of humorous statements (like the silly things "I am really good at"). " I would take this out. As a man, I find stuff like this unattractive. Interesting. Because I seem to be getting more interest. Though one of them today did say he was born in 63 and is 52 (Can't add?). :-p I do have two that are more interesting and look to be real. If they go away and I don't get any more interest, I will change it again. I'm not sure what age group you are Bab. I'm mid to late 50's and guys my age seem to like that, It's quite true - I used to do that with the ex-bf up until he started taking risks with my property without asking me or even having a conversation. Anyway, I guess I'm in an experimental phase and will report findings here. Two good suspects so far. Oh and one who seems to have backed off a bit, two who's profiles disappeared (though one is still on FB and G+ > totally unsuitable, but I was curious). I'm thinking the profiles pulled were scammers and the one who backed off is probably busy with work - doesn't live close so no rush there.
MissBee Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Okay so I got a message this morning... "Hello Pretty Smile" I said "Thank you sir! Hope this wet weather finds you well! :-D" At 8pm, he sends me: "Hello Pretty Woman How was UR day . Pretty Smile . (name)" Sigh... So being the polite lady that I am, I send back. "Day was good, thank you. Rainy though!" What is to be accomplished with this? The guy's photos don't strike me as someone that dorky. He's pretty good looking for his age, but his profile is minimal - still from what I read we might be compatible. OKC says we're 80% good. (While I don't trust their numbers exactly, I will say that usually if they put over 30% enemies, then there will be issues...) He can see right there that he messaged me already, but then he writes almost the same message again, after receiving a reply from me? It's just ... weird, and it happens so often -- or similar, where there's nothing to build a conversation on. In fact it's so rare it goes further than that I'm really sorry I blew off the last guy for not asking me out again. Even as a sometime chat buddy, he knew how to hold a good conversation. I'm not mad or upset that I get messaged like that -- I'm just wondering what the point is? If a man just likes to compliment women, he could surely find some other way to do that? There are guys out there just trying to get into ladies laps, but this isn't even that -- because there's no way to even start a "shall we meet" conversation. Has anyone got a clue as to what this behavior is for? I'm amused but highly curious! You're a better woman than I. I would receive many messages like this and my assumption is that the man is inept at communicating and I figure we would have a hard time having any kind of organic, free flowing conversation, as he communicates more like a robot. I do think the less intelligent and witty a man is the more likely he will send such messages or perhaps if English isn't his first language, then he will send these kind of more robotic, boring messages, sometimes saying the same things. I don't question it or bother to figure it out frankly, I just KNOW we won't be compatible and move it along.
Author JourneyLady Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 Just bz someone looks good doesn't mean they have a personality. This guy is like talking to a ball of clay. Hm... looks good to me and looks good to you are probably two different things. I am attracted to sometimes bearded men who are slightly paunchy. Think Santa Claus or Scotty at a younger age. Some grandpa with a twinkle in his eye and a big smile. :-) And a my age, there aren't that many guys that aren't losing their hair. Not that I don't like some slim males - Richard Gere is a favorite - whatever age he's been. :-D
Recommended Posts