My ex is being putting all the pressure on me to make the decisions.

[guest]

I am in the middle of breaking up with my boyfriend, or maybe he is breaking up with me. I'm not sure because its all so confusing.

 

We moved in together 6months ago, after being in a serious relationship for nearly 3 years. About 2months ago we both decided things were getting a little too serious and we should try and cool it for a while. I moved out, but still need to see him often to get things from our house. My friends have been great, and a few weeks ago they took me out for a big night, and i met a really nice guy. We just danced and swapped numbers, thats all.

 

I have been receiving calls from this guy, who is really nice. The thing is, last time I saw my ex he took my phone and read my messages and call lists. he went crazy, he was so furious. He told me that things had changed and that we could be together again. he told me he'd look after me and treat me better. This was just last week.

 

And I said ok, i told the other guy that I couldn't do anything with him, although I didn't 'close the door' completely there. And I have been staying back at my house with my (ex)boyfriend. But then, by accident I found out that he has been seeing another girl. He has been ringing her often, and she even calls the house here. he told me if she calls be nice, and tell her he'll call back later. Does anyone else see a problem with this? How cruel can someone be?

 

I am ready to break up all over again, but I feel so foolish, because i've only just been through it. I need some advice on how to handle myself. I need to move out of our home, but really don't have anywhere to go! everything is so messed up.

 

Thanks for reading

Guest01

[clynn]

Wow. Tough one.

 

First off, sounds as though the two of you really do care about each other but are going through difficulties, which I think is rather normal in long term relationships. And getting serious after moving in together? Isn't moving in together serious enough? Perhaps you're both scared of intimacy somewhat.

 

So in the meantime you've both checked out your other options but of course don't want to lose each other.

 

Definitely if you are back together and living together you shouldn't be dating other people, plain and simple.

 

So clear up what your status is with him. This can be done in a loving way. If you're exclusive, be exclusive. If you're not, then I would suggest finding another place to live with you are sorting it out.