moonlightpath Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 So I have this friend. Recently we started talking to each other as "non-friend-zone friends". If that makes sense lol. We like each other. Went on a couple dates. They went well. He keeps taking about it turning into something more but I don't think I'm ready since I just got out of a relationship about 6 weeks ago. I do like him though. He told me he's willing to give me as much time as I need. But the thing is he's Pakistani/Muslim. He's not even allowed to date me. I'm not sure how strict/traditional his family is. But I know that most of the time they are to date/marry into their own race/religion. I'm not saying I expect to marry him in 4 years. (I'm only 20. He's 23.) But I'm not saying I only expect to date him for 3 months and then find someone else to date. (Hope that makes sense!). Who knows, maybe his family isn't as traditional as I assume. But lets say they are very traditional. Do you think its pointless to date knowing it will eventually end?
bluegreen Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Chances are he will hide this relationship like snake its legs from everybody. Chances are like sure in hell even if you fall madly in love with each other he will end up in arraigned marriage. Chances are you will be left humiliated hurt broken hearted and even if he cares so much traditions culture customs have been breed in him from moment he was born. He will not and I mean not stand up to his family and all he knows and is Pakistan people are one of the most conservative traditional nations on earth. IF and if by some miracle any of this does not become true you have no chance of being able to exist in that " environment" and am telling you this as Muslim myself. If you can not handle passing romance do not even think of Him twice again
AntiSocal Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 First of all muslim men are allowed to marry christian women. Second of all who really cares? You guys are young. Most of the relationships you have throughout life won't go anywhere. Its not about the end result its about the journey. About getting experience, being molded into the person that you want to be. If life was just end results with no journeys there wouldn't really be a point now would there? So if you have fun with him? Date him till you don't have fun with him anymore. If you don't have fun with him? Ditch him. Lifes too short to hang on to people you don't like.
soccerrprp Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Do the decent thing and don't pursue this. Having "fun" w/ someone's emotions, life is simply douche-bag of you. His family may not be as conservative, but that's something you should find out, though I suspect that it will already be complicated. Yes, Muslims can marry Christians, BUT they have to convert to Islam. Are you willing to do this? In the end, if you have to hide your relationship, that's enough to tell you that it will not work out. 1
pickflicker Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 So I have this friend. Recently we started talking to each other as "non-friend-zone friends". If that makes sense lol. We like each other. Went on a couple dates. They went well. He keeps taking about it turning into something more but I don't think I'm ready since I just got out of a relationship about 6 weeks ago. I do like him though. He told me he's willing to give me as much time as I need. But the thing is he's Pakistani/Muslim. He's not even allowed to date me. I'm not sure how strict/traditional his family is. But I know that most of the time they are to date/marry into their own race/religion. I'm not saying I expect to marry him in 4 years. (I'm only 20. He's 23.) But I'm not saying I only expect to date him for 3 months and then find someone else to date. (Hope that makes sense!). Who knows, maybe his family isn't as traditional as I assume. But lets say they are very traditional. Do you think its pointless to date knowing it will eventually end? You're making assumptions that you can't possible know. Ask him. Maybe not bring up marriage, perhaps just ask "How flexible are you/your family's religious beliefs, when it comes to dating women outside your culture?" See what answer you get. You can safely extrapolate that to a "long term" attitude. Then you can make a decision - before you fall too hard. 1
Author moonlightpath Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 I know I'm probably overthinking. But I have dated Indian and Pakistani guys before and they always hid our relationship from their family. (Except for one guy.) This guy I'm seeing now told me that its his uncles/aunts/cousins who would make a big deal out of this. He said his mother is kind and understanding. He invited me to dinner with his family once but I think he was just saying that to be nice. I'm not looking to just have fun with him. If i wanted to have fun I would be going out clubbing with my friends.
bluegreen Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Well You been there done this so you know already how the outcome will be. It matters not who will scream the city down what matters is that they are not breed raised to stand up against families customs traditions. You know this as well already fact that he can marry Christian if she converts helps you how exactly ? There are conservatives and then are conservatives and this goes for 150% of being conservative he might even now be engaged to someone "back home". If not bride for him is being searched for I can bet on it some meek timid never even touched man's hand much less had relationship type. If he was as you said Indian Egyptian Some other part of Middle East Nation perhaps there would have been chance but with this guy not gonna happen. Why is he your 3-4 same choice by now when you know all this ?
newmoon Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 it would be pointless if you were older and wanting kids and knew that his (maybe) traditional family wouldn't be accepting. you'd be pinning too many hopes on someone and it might not lead to where you want. when you're younger you have time to 'waste' (so to speak), so you can date around and explore you likes and interests and get to know what you want and need in a partner without it being a waste of time. so, given your age, enjoy any romance and relationship you have with someone and don't think too far ahead. I dated a middle eastern man once - I am white, American - and felt his family would never allow it either. they were very accepting I found (of us dating, at least). as for marriage... perhaps we would have met resistance, but who knows. if the guy is willing to even date you he probably knows his family would be ok with your own values/religion
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