bluegreen Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 And we lost her OK am gonna shut my mouth meaning my fingers although they are screaming at me in protest. I really hope I will be able to save damn it I told you so when you come back here crying once again. Hope you won't be upset by my honesty I just can't pretend worth a crap PS: But I do like You I just can't pretend to like wrong like could not be more wrong if you tried choice ...
redbaron005 Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Honestly - when you meet with him to talk I would not even give any conversation about this trip the time of day, nor consider ever going. The issues important to you are deeper than that and this should be about you. 1
Author KaliLove Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 And we lost her OK am gonna shut my mouth meaning my fingers although they are screaming at me in protest. I really hope I will be able to save damn it I told you so when you come back here crying once again. Hope you won't be upset by my honesty I just can't pretend worth a crap PS: But I do like You I just can't pretend to like wrong like could not be more wrong if you tried choice ... I don't get your hostility. I already told you I'm not holding out much hope and that I will be fine no matter what happens. I'm not going to cry. I will be fine no matter what happens. I think I'm being pretty damn reasonable about this actually. I am completely prepared for any outcome.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 And we lost her OK am gonna shut my mouth meaning my fingers although they are screaming at me in protest. I really hope I will be able to save damn it I told you so when you come back here crying once again. Hope you won't be upset by my honesty I just can't pretend worth a crap PS: But I do like You I just can't pretend to like wrong like could not be more wrong if you tried choice ... Is this English? This post doesnt help anyone and is pretty rude and harsh. I feel like I say how I feel, but this is too much. Incredibly unnecessary. OP is honest in her feelings and hasnt really been unreasonable. 1
Strength in Healing Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) Come on Kali you know better than this. And no, you WON'T be okay no matter what happens. Come on now. If you would be ok no matter what happens you wouldn't make statements like "just marry me it's been 4 years". Edited March 31, 2014 by Strength in Healing
Author KaliLove Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Come on Kali you know better than this. And no, you WON'T be okay no matter what happens. Come on now. If you would be ok no matter what happens you wouldn't make statements like "just marry me it's been 4 years". Hmm..I guess my light hearted tone wasn't coming across as much as I thought it would. Dude..he's got SEVERE emotional problems that he's likely making no effort to fix. I harbor no delusions of ending up with this man. But again..I still love him and I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he is making an effort to change and he can truly show me that effort, then it's worth it. But I really don't think he is. My predicted outcome of our conversation is that he will tell me he loves me and misses me but that he's not in therapy and not making any major changes to his life, and I'll tell him that if he does make those changes, I will reconsider..but that I really don't think things will work out the way they are right now.
Strength in Healing Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 The mass majority of jokes have truth behind them. With all due respect, you've somewhat successfully convinced yourself through rationalization that this meeting means next to nothing. I know better than anyone that people will do what they want to do, but I still warn people about bad decisions, no offense. I hope it works out for you, I do, but normally you're spot on with your advice, but as is so often the case, you've convinced yourself otherwise in your own situation. 1
Author KaliLove Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) You're so wrong. I truly don't believe that things will work out between my ex and I. I am 100% sure about what I want in the future. I want a husband. If he doesn't want to be one, then I don't want to be with him..and I don't think he does. As I've said before..I could easily have my ex back..but on HIS terms. If I was content being a part time girlfriend I'd have gone back already. I'm not. Edit: I respect your opinion SIH..but I'm not at the beginning of my break up. I'm not a mess. I have not deluded myself into thinking things will work out no matter what. I am truly prepared for any outcome. Edited March 31, 2014 by KaliLove
Strength in Healing Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 You're so wrong. I truly don't believe that things will work out between my ex and I. I am 100% sure about what I want in the future. I want a husband. If he doesn't want to be one, then I don't want to be with him..and I don't think he does. As I've said before..I could easily have my ex back..but on HIS terms. If I was content being a part time girlfriend I'd have gone back already. I'm not. Edit: I respect your opinion SIH..but I'm not at the beginning of my break up. I'm not a mess. I have not deluded myself into thinking things will work out no matter what. I am truly prepared for any outcome. Okay, come back on here after the meeting and say how it went then I will say the rest.
sooshi Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Kali, I like the way you stand up for yourself. You know what you want (ie. a husband) and you won't settle for being with someone who doesn't want to be that for you. I look forward to reading about how the meeting goes tomorrow. Stay strong! 1
bluegreen Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Oh for crying out loud she is standing up for herself ? She is arguing with people who would really hate to see her cry AGAIN over same thing . What makes me really upset here is a fact that I really don't have anything against this girl she seems nice smart sweet and all that. But as someone said she convinced herself she can do meeting she can do talking hell she can even do trip taking be used by him again and be OK with it. When pigs fly at least 20 people are saying NO and few cheering up where will those few be when she ends up dumped again used and left over cause DUDE can and will make psychiatries pull his hair out. She loves him OK great why does she not love care and respect herself more? He will not marry her even if he knows she is willing to trade her soul for it so to speak but he is willing to use her for a time from time to time. I cared more for shoes and purses then he does for her and its not just his I don't wanna marry her its who he is as person and is not able to be as person. And now I am flying on a broom witch for saying all of this to harsh to mean to frank to this to that. Somehow the only thing I am not is wrong and I know it feel it in my bones and am not only one that thinks so ....
sooshi Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) bluegreen, when I said that I'm glad she stands up for herself, I mean that Kali knows what she wants and won't settle for less. She still loves this man, yes, but he's still going through sooo much and doesn't want to be a husband, nor does he seem to be anywhere near a position to be able to be a good one. I believe Kali knows this and that will stick to what she wants (a husband, and I'm sure she wants one who is healthy and stable). Yes, she could have just turned down the trip offer and just not talk to him. But she still loves him... and not in a "you're perfect for me right now, let's be together" sort of way. You can love someone and not want to be with them/know they're not right for you. I think she's doing her best to see the situation clearly. She seems to know what's going on, and I think she's ready to take on whatever comes tomorrow. Edited March 31, 2014 by sooshi 1
bluegreen Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 bluegreen, when I said that I'm glad she stands up for herself, I mean that Kali knows what she wants and won't settle for less. She still loves this man, yes, but he's still going through sooo much and doesn't want to be a husband, nor does he seem to be anywhere near a position to be able to be a good one. I believe Kali knows this and that will stick to what she wants (a husband, and I'm sure she wants one who is healthy and stable). Yes, she could have just turned down the trip offer and just not talk to him. But she still loves him... and not in a "you're perfect for me right now, let's be together" sort of way. You can love someone and not want to be with them/know they're not right for you. I think she's doing her best to see the situation clearly. She seems to know what's going on, and I think she's ready to take on whatever comes tomorrow. Believe me I know all of that and that somehow makes all of this worse. All am gonna say about what you said is : From your mouth to God's ears. I truly mean that ...
Trovador Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 So if he proposes she have to accept because she wants above all a husband? Is that what you are saying? That she would marry any man? Please tell me you misunderstood the OP...
sooshi Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) No, she doesn't have to accept, and I really hope she wouldn't! And no, I don't think she would marry any man... not at all. Edited March 31, 2014 by sooshi
Author KaliLove Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) That's insane! I'm not going to marry someone just for the sake of marrying someone. Jeebus! Bluegreen, I appreciate your passion but you're painting every person on this site with the same brush right now. I've said numerous times that I have no expectations. You're not even listening to what I'm saying. Do I really sound like a crazy person? Do I sound like I will accept whatever he's willing to offer with no questions asked? Honestly, I don't think you've even read my posts. I feel like you're projecting your own issues onto me right now. I feel perfectly in control of my situation. I have no unreasonable expectations and I have nothing to lose. I'm not going to scream and cry if things don't work out. The ball is in my court. He is the one who has put himself out there and I'm the one who has to decide whether or not to accept his invitation. If I talk to him and I see that nothing has changed on his end, I'm not going to go, and I'm not going to speak to him again unless there is a notable difference, but I'm certainly not going to wait around for that to happen. Chill. I'm going to be fine no matter what. I have faith in myself even if you don't. Sooshi..thanks for believing in me. Edited March 31, 2014 by KaliLove
Author KaliLove Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Oh for crying out loud she is standing up for herself ? She is arguing with people who would really hate to see her cry AGAIN over same thing . What makes me really upset here is a fact that I really don't have anything against this girl she seems nice smart sweet and all that. But as someone said she convinced herself she can do meeting she can do talking hell she can even do trip taking be used by him again and be OK with it. When pigs fly at least 20 people are saying NO and few cheering up where will those few be when she ends up dumped again used and left over cause DUDE can and will make psychiatries pull his hair out. She loves him OK great why does she not love care and respect herself more? He will not marry her even if he knows she is willing to trade her soul for it so to speak but he is willing to use her for a time from time to time. I cared more for shoes and purses then he does for her and its not just his I don't wanna marry her its who he is as person and is not able to be as person. And now I am flying on a broom witch for saying all of this to harsh to mean to frank to this to that. Somehow the only thing I am not is wrong and I know it feel it in my bones and am not only one that thinks so .... He's not in a position to dump me at the moment. He's the one who has put himself out there by inviting me on a trip. I haven't asked him for anything or put myself out there in any way..he has. One conversation is not going to crush me at this point. I will decide what I want to do and I'll do it. If I see a significant difference in him, I will consider giving him a shot. If I don't (and I don't expect to), I won't. Case closed. 2
bluegreen Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 OK Doll we heard you hell neighbors heard you and maybe next street down heard you as well. I wish you can only hear yourself to BUT you are right about only one thing here : Yes am insanely passionate about what I believe in otherwise why bother even trying to do things half way. Am gonna agree to disagree here and be done with it. As for you let it be your choice am interested in helping not arguing with anyone who is in denial even if they deny being in deny deny deny mode. OK your choice your right by all means to say do and think whatever you want. I wish you g luck and really Hope that am wrong here but ...
Author KaliLove Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 I don't understand what I am denying...
sooshi Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Kali, I truly feel that you're in control of the situation, that having this meeting/conversation (if you haven't already today) isn't going to break or make you. Yep, I completely believe in you. 1
Author KaliLove Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Kali, I truly feel that you're in control of the situation, that having this meeting/conversation (if you haven't already today) isn't going to break or make you. Yep, I completely believe in you. Thanks! Not yet..it's only 1:40PM in my timezone..we're not meeting til after work. Which is SO boring today!!! I'm not willing to sacrifice the kind of life I want for him whether I love him or not and I will stay firm on that. I don't want to be someone's part time girlfriend forever..I want a relationship that has the potential to progress. Unless he's made some major changes (which I doubt he has), it's not going to happen. I don't believe this talk is going to set me back in my healing process. 1
sooshi Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I love your attitude. You won't settle for less than you want. You go, girl!! 1
redbaron005 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Kali, I certainly respect your resolve, and hope things went well. Keep us updated.
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