mr_dave Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 So I'm on POF looking for suitable girls to date. I'm very much a wallflower, pretty reserved, but very sporty and outdoorsy, and loathe the drinking "culture" here in the UK, I'd rather spend my weekends watching films or going to new places and for meals out etc. I'm basically looking for a similar girl, someone with no tattoos, who isn't a binge drinking ladette. That's easy enough, but all the more homely, decent long term bets seem to be either extremely artsy, bookish or musical. I am none of those in the slightest. Then I came across this one woman, who seemed to be all I could wish for in a partner, and she was very busty (I can't lie, I love big boobs ), and fairly cute (I'm not after a model at all.) She basically said in her profile she was after someone like me, who isn't into drinking, prefers the outdoors and sports, is looking for something long term, etc. So I messaged her, favourited her, and a few days later she still hasn't replied, or viewed me. But she's online every day. I was thinking, should I send her another message to give her a little prod? I know that girls can get inundated, and messages don't get noticed sometimes. Something along the lines of.. Hi I was wondering if you got my message the other day? You seem like quite a rare and compatible find, so if you fancy a chat....? If not then happy fishing! X What do you guys think?
Author mr_dave Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 I saw she was online so I sent it. Then she immediately went offline! Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained!
HappyLove Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 That's what happens when you think someone is so perfect for you many times they aren't. So what if the other women don't match you exactly, you should give them a chance. 1
smackie9 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Never ever ask "did you get my message" questioning their actions or calling them out on it says to them you are insecure. And never end with "if not then" that just shows her you don't value yourself or lack confidence. The way you word things, portrays an image about yourself. I already pointed out insecure, lack confidence in that short message already. That's what women are going to think. You should say "It's wonderful to see a woman that has an interest in the outdoors, I would be delighted to get to know you better. Hit me up for a chat sometime. You have an awesome day" 5
smackie9 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 That's what happens when you think someone is so perfect for you many times they aren't. So what if the other women don't match you exactly, you should give them a chance. I agree with this. Plus not everyone is going to mention everything on their profile. You could meet someone that isn't all about the outdoors but would still enjoy camping or going on a hike.
Author mr_dave Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Never ever ask "did you get my message" questioning their actions or calling them out on it says to them you are insecure. And never end with "if not then" that just shows her you don't value yourself or lack confidence. The way you word things, portrays an image about yourself. I already pointed out insecure, lack confidence in that short message already. That's what women are going to think. You should say "It's wonderful to see a woman that has an interest in the outdoors, I would be delighted to get to know you better. Hit me up for a chat sometime. You have an awesome day" Blast, that's much better than what I sent! Never mind, I know for next time now. Thanks Well yeah, I guess the reason for my second message was just to make sure I have actually been rejected, rather than her not noticing my message. If the former is true, then hey ho. I don't know, I guess it would also be quite arrogant if I didn't accept the possibility she might not be interested? I do value myself though.
FitChick Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Just because she is perfect for YOU doesn't mean you are perfect for HER. Your other problem is using POF. 1
Author mr_dave Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Just because she is perfect for YOU doesn't mean you are perfect for HER. Your other problem is using POF. That's true. POF unfortunately is my only way of meeting females. None of my active interests (football, gym) allow me to meet girls, my job doesn't bring me into contact with any at all. There are no meetup type groups near where I live, the only things I could do are to go round nightclubs and bars, but that pool would consist of girls I wouldn't really want to date. And you can't really get to know someone whilst rubbish music is blaring out anyway. Or I could hang out at coffee shops, but my only reason for doing so would be to try and pick up women, who will probably have boyfriends, be married, or just not interested anyway. What I like about OLD is that you get some flavour of the person and whether you have anything in common before you take the plunge and ask them out. Dealbreakers (tattoos, attitudes to sex/relationships, attention seeking public instagram/snapchat accounts etc) are on display when they might take weeks/ months to reveal themselves in real life. And you know they are single too. I guess that's why I'm on POF..
smackie9 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Blast, that's much better than what I sent! Never mind, I know for next time now. Thanks Well yeah, I guess the reason for my second message was just to make sure I have actually been rejected, rather than her not noticing my message. If the former is true, then hey ho. I don't know, I guess it would also be quite arrogant if I didn't accept the possibility she might not be interested? I do value myself though. Calling her out on it does.......
Author mr_dave Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Calling her out on it does....... seem arrogant? I was just wanting to make 100% sure. A few replies I've got have said, "Hey, sorry, your message was buried, I was snowed under, etc" I've sent out around 400 interesting messages in two months, had about 20 replies, been messaged first ten times, and had two dates. I expect to get rejected every time. OLD has taught me I'm not that desirable, so I'm not arrogant/confident about my dating prospects in the slightest.
Imajerk17 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 (edited) My take: 1. Too many emoticons in your email(s) to her. (Actually one emoticon is "too many" unless if it's a wink after a sarcastic comment that could be take then wrong way otherwise.) Two smileys looks quite unmasculine. Stop that! 2. POF is full of women who on the one hand complain about the jackasses who hit on them, and yet on the other hand respond to them anyway. You'd have better luck on Match. (they have that in the UK right?) Edited March 29, 2014 by Imajerk17
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