Berceuse Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I husband served me with divorce papers Dec 19, 2013 out of the blue. We had been married 28 years, together for 30. I was shocked. I knew things had been getting intense for awhile, he had been going to a MC, I went twice, then decided I needed to find another therapist for us to try since this one seemed to be prejudiced already towards his view and seemed to really not have a handle on the situation or gave much insightful advice. I had the referral paperwork started when I was served. Well, I work full time and he is retired from the military after 30 years of service. He helped me tremendously around the farm and with my horses (I have done some breeding but have slowly been getting out of it. The plan was to get down to only 3 horses from 7 by the middle of next year). He was very involved with local community affairs and his own personal rental properties. I work at a very stressful but well paying job and on my off times, tried to get my horses ridden, trained and marketable. I know that I was not giving him enough time but it was just so difficult to see what impact this was having on our relationship. I knew that we had gotten quite testy towards each other and I was a little (no, a lot) withholding on the sexual part of things because I was just so tired all the time. I was also a little resentful that he was retired and I was still having to work full time still at a very stressful job. But, it was for the horses. So, I had no room to complain and should have just been grateful and loving. But, no, I had to be selfish and entitled. He did tremendous things for me and finally, I think, just said enough is enough. I have had no contact with him since that date except through lawyers. So, I am having to come to terms with my selfishness and driving a very good man off. Eating a lot of humble pie these days. Am seeing that new counselor, who is excellent and have an appointment with a psychiatrist in June to have myself evaluated for a maybe a PD. My self-esteem is shot. Have any of you been in this situation and how did you even start standing yourself, again.
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