StGeorge22 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 What was it like when your met your next partner after a breakup? After a year of back and forwards with my ex, she is well and truely gone and had moved on. I now find myself drifting between being ok being by myself, and wanting to date in order to find someone else. I know, I'm not rushing anything. But I'm just curious as to what it was like when you met the next "one". I'm someone who doesn't really find it hard to get a date, so I have done a bit. But I have struggled to find someone I connect with and actually want to be with. Maybe I'm dating too much so therefore don't appreciate the dates I have. Do you just know when you meet that special someone? I know (hope) it will happen to me one day
Damaged217 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I don't think there is more than one "the one." lol. Sure you can fall in love many times, but it you're lucky, you will find just one person who is completely different from the rest. I was like you up until a few months ago....drifting between wanting to be single and wanting a relationship. It wasn't until I went on a ton of dates that, ultimately, I realized that I wanted something more than a fling. Dating was fun, but I couldn't see the point anymore in investing the time to getting to know someone only to disappear or have them disappear a few weeks later. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and people are either a lesson or a blessing. Sorry for the cliches, but they are true I was lucky enough to meet the most amazing guy a few months ago after convincing myself that it would never happen. I'm realizing that what I thought was love between my first love ("the one" in my eyes at the time) and I was not truly love at all. This guy has shown me what real love is and what a healthy relationship between 2 adults should be like. Some people may feel that they can instanly know when they've found that special person, but I don't know if that's true. Most likely what they are feeling is the "butterflies" of first falling in love. I think once that initial excitement goes away and you still think the person you're with is the most awesomest person in the world who truly makes you a better person, that's when you know you've found that special someone. I didn't think I was going to fall head over heels over my current guy at all. He's completely different from other guys I've dated. And I didn't feel that "spark" initially. But after just a few weeks after really getting to know each other and having things flow so naturally despite our differences, I realized that this guy was incredible and I got bitten by the love bug. I'm sure you will find that special someone. You just have to keep trying. You don't have to appreciate all the dates you've been on, but you should learn from them. Try dating girls you wouldn't normally go for. You might be pleasantly surprised. Good luck!
KareoD Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I've used my past relationships as a learning curve. What will be, will be. Sometimes when you're not looking for a relationship that is when it'll hit you but when you're actively looking for a relationship you will come across a lot of duds. Make sure you're 100% within yourself before you commit to wanting another relationship. Break ups can take a lot out of a person so maybe one of the reasons you're not feeling any of these dates is because you're just not quite ready yet, as much as you wish you were. I'm the same as in it was my ex who moved on first and for a while I was the one who wanted the relationship. Looking back, the relationship was a shambles in many ways but that thing called love just blurs out all the crap. I felt as though I wanted to move on because I felt as though I should and not necessarily because I wanted too. You need to be selfish and put yourself first. Be the best version of yourself, for yourself. When you're the best you can be then the right person will come along and you will have a great relationship. When you're not the best version of yourself and you're out looking for relationships then you might come across people that aren't right for you. Stay strong but do what's best for now. The fact that you keep drifting is maybe a sign that you're not as ready as you think you are. When you're consistent in your thoughts then you'll be ready for whatever it is you choose, this inconsistency mostly shows that you don't even know what you want. 2
Author StGeorge22 Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Guys thanks so much for the replies, really appreciate it. Think you are both right, can't force it. Luckily for the first time for a while , I am actually being ok by myself
WYSWYG Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I was already comfortable being alone again when I met my next partner. When we got very close, I was actually questioning whether I'm really ready to give up my single life again. The thought of giving up some freedom for a commitment wasn't easy. Having a GF means sharing, compromising and being sensible to her lifestyle. But you'll know when you meet someone special. The air gets electric, instant bonding and laughter. The promises behind her eyes. You giggle like a kid in a toy store. And you ask yourself "where was she all this time?" 2
Author StGeorge22 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Thanks for the responses, has certainly given me hope that it will happen when I'm ready!
Trapp-er Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I was already comfortable being alone again when I met my next partner. When we got very close, I was actually questioning whether I'm really ready to give up my single life again. The thought of giving up some freedom for a commitment wasn't easy. Having a GF means sharing, compromising and being sensible to her lifestyle. But you'll know when you meet someone special. The air gets electric, instant bonding and laughter. The promises behind her eyes. You giggle like a kid in a toy store. And you ask yourself "where was she all this time?" Well said! I experienced this very recently. The air indeed does get electric and there really is an instant connection. It is incredible and for me I was thankful I was no longer dating my ex or else I'd never have had that experience--which I never had with the ex.
Author StGeorge22 Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 Thanks for the feedback guys. Without sounding like a douche, I've been able to meet a lot of great girls which I think Is meaning that I'm not really appreciating any of them. Might take a little break from dating and just see what happens. Just because my ex is with someone, doesn't mean I have to be
Recommended Posts