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Girlfriend fighting with friend - told me not to see her!

Medium.Lumo

By Medium.Lumo
in General Relationship Discussion

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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My girlfriend and one of our mutual female friends had an argument and are not talking anymore. The friend is even refusing to go out with the group this weekend.

 

I was supposed to have lunch with this friend on Tuesday, but my girlfriend doesn't want me to meet her for lunch, even though it is a regular thing.

 

I pointed out that we have been friends for a long time, and it's unfair to ask me to stop seeing her, and she said:

 

"She's not your girlfriend, I am."

 

Wtf?

 

I have been friends with thus other girl for 3 years. ...

 

My girlfriend isn't angry about it but she seems kind of upset when we talk about it. I assume it's just because they are not getting along right now, but it's still kind of messed up... what can I do to nip thus in the bud without upsetting either side?

pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

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What was the fight about?

 

Tell your gf you'll consider her request if she tells you why they're arguing.

 

Quiz your friend too.

Grumpybutfun Established Member

Grumpybutfun

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mediumlumo, you really need to move on from this girl, the more you describe her and your relationship of one week, the more I think you picked someone based on her looks because she has too many issues. I've been married for twenty years and haven't had a quarter as much drama and concerns with my wife in all that time as you have had in a week with yours. She isn't a good fit with you.

Best,

Grumps

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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mediumlumo, you really need to move on from this girl, the more you describe her and your relationship of one week, the more I think you picked someone based on her looks because she has too many issues. I've been married for twenty years and haven't had a quarter as much drama and concerns with my wife in all that time as you have had in a week with yours. She isn't a good fit with you.

Best,

Grumps

 

Thanks grumps.

 

It's a tough call though. She is really sweet and hot. Yes we have had a few issues but overall it's good.

 

I'm not like TopaMaxx or Haydn. This could be my once in a lifetime relationship with a girl like her.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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What was the fight about?

 

Tell your gf you'll consider her request if she tells you why they're arguing.

 

Quiz your friend too.

 

So it seems that they are fighting about my girlfriend and I being together :( my friend thinks it makes things weird with the group...

gaius Established Member

gaius

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That's a bizarre thing to fight about. All other issues aside, you should probably pass on lunch.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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on'tTE=gaius;5611052]That's a bizarre thing to fight about. All other issues aside, you should probably pass on lunch.

 

Yes it is weird. But women are difficult to understand in general.

 

I don't want to pass on the lunch, she's a good friend. I don't really know what to do. It's a difficult situation. Whatever I do one side is going to be upset.

regine_phalange Established Member

regine_phalange

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It's not your fault they are arguing, let them deal with it. It's not your problem. I'd take the day off, from both of them, and spend it on my own.

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FrostBlaze Established Member

FrostBlaze

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What is this some kind of love triangle xD.

 

"So it seems that they are fighting about my girlfriend and I being together my friend thinks it makes things weird with the group..."

lol? That's a bull**** reason if i ever saw one.

 

I think this girl friend of yours might like you more than you think and is a bit jelly perhaps now that you got taken.

Just a thought.

italianjob Established Member

italianjob

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So it seems that they are fighting about my girlfriend and I being together :( my friend thinks it makes things weird with the group...

 

If that's really what they're fighting about, I think your girlfriend has good reason to ask you to pass lunch, as this "friend" is obviously no friend of your relationship. How did you find out this information?

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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This hot girl who has been your GF for a whole week messes up your house & your car & is now creating drama among your other friends. Where is the upside to this relationship other than you get to have sex with a hot girl?

 

That said, since the fight is about your female friend telling your GF that your new romantic relationship is disrupting the group dynamic if you do anything but support your GF, you are in essence picking another woman over your GF. It's disloyal. What business is it of the friends who either of you date? Why does she get to impose her choice on you two? She has an option which she is prepared to exercise -- she can disassociate from the group. It's pretty self absorbed of her to think she is entitled to express her opinion on the subject of your love life.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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Jealous of me??

 

That's a laugh :) if she was interested she had 3 years...

 

What is this some kind of love triangle xD.

 

"So it seems that they are fighting about my girlfriend and I being together my friend thinks it makes things weird with the group..."

lol? That's a bull**** reason if i ever saw one.

 

I think this girl friend of yours might like you more than you think and is a bit jelly perhaps now that you got taken.

Just a thought.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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If that's really what they're fighting about, I think your girlfriend has good reason to ask you to pass lunch, as this "friend" is obviously no friend of your relationship. How did you find out this information?

 

From another friend (male).

 

I don't really want to pass on the lunch. I enjoy the time we spend together - only as friends of course.

 

Then again I can't really disregard my girlfriend's feelings on it. So maybe I'll have to skip it.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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Yes. It's weird. She is quite assertive and bossy though. Maybe she just doesn't like the change in the dynamic and is blowing it out of proportion.

 

This hot girl who has been your GF for a whole week messes up your house & your car & is now creating drama among your other friends. Where is the upside to this relationship other than you get to have sex with a hot girl?

 

That said, since the fight is about your female friend telling your GF that your new romantic relationship is disrupting the group dynamic if you do anything but support your GF, you are in essence picking another woman over your GF. It's disloyal. What business is it of the friends who either of you date? Why does she get to impose her choice on you two? She has an option which she is prepared to exercise -- she can disassociate from the group. It's pretty self absorbed of her to think she is entitled to express her opinion on the subject of your love life.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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It's not your fault they are arguing, let them deal with it. It's not your problem. I'd take the day off, from both of them, and spend it on my own.

 

Not a bad idea, although it runs the risk of upsetting both sides...

FrostBlaze Established Member

FrostBlaze

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Jealous of me??

 

That's a laugh :) if she was interested she had 3 years...

 

You know they wait on the guy right? not like she was gonna make the first move.

That was just a assumption, because it tends to happen.(check out just friends topic, one party tends to feel more)

God knows the true reason but i reckon it's that :p.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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You know they wait on the guy right? not like she was gonna make the first move.

That was just a assumption, because it tends to happen.(check out just friends topic, one party tends to feel more)

God knows the true reason but i reckon it's that :p.

 

It's possible, but... They both rejected tons of much hotter guys. I didn't make a move because I didn't see the point.

 

Also, if you read other threads about opposite gender friends you'll see how bad an idea it is to make moves. The friendship will die if it doesn't work out. I didn't want to take that risk.

 

You'll either end up with a girlfriend or...

 

A friend who feels really uncomfortable and doesn't want to be friends anymore.

 

Too risky.

 

My girlfriend started making moves on me first. Otherwise I wouldn't have. Lucky for me :)

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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So it seems that they are fighting about my girlfriend and I being together :( my friend thinks it makes things weird with the group...

 

So is the 'friend' is jealous? Or feels you can do better? Is worried that you've made a mistake by being with the gf?

 

Funny thing is, your friend of 3+ years knows you and probably sees many red flags that you don't see or don't want to see.

 

How did the fight start? Meaning, did your friend approach your gf and blast her or was it the other way around?

 

Anyway, you don't just cut friends out of your life, listen to her side of things and go from there. Your gf is 'claiming' you now so you may have to choose, which sucks.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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I'm not really sure. I can't imagine her being jealous over me. She never seemed interested in anything other than friendship. I would have thought she'd be cool with us being together.. she usually gets along well with my gf.

 

There are no red flags. She's truly a lovely person. I can see myself with her long term.

 

I don't know how it started... just that my friend cancelled plans with the group thus weekend without explanation and then I found out my gf and her weren't talking at all.

 

Then I texted my other friend, and he told me the full story.. or at least what he knows. I'm really bummed they are fighting over me.

 

It's actually ridiculous. Just read the threads here for proof... women have options. They aren't like you and me who would struggle to find another gf :) my view is that if my friend is really jealous she should just get over it and find a bf.

 

So is the 'friend' is jealous? Or feels you can do better? Is worried that you've made a mistake by being with the gf?

 

Funny thing is, your friend of 3+ years knows you and probably sees many red flags that you don't see or don't want to see.

 

How did the fight start? Meaning, did your friend approach your gf and blast her or was it the other way around?

 

Anyway, you don't just cut friends out of your life, listen to her side of things and go from there. Your gf is 'claiming' you now so you may have to choose, which sucks.

FrostBlaze Established Member

FrostBlaze

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So i was right ^^.

InnocentMan Established Member

InnocentMan

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So, in the space of a week, she's trashed your car and apartment, found your wank bank, and now telling you who you can lunch with. How hot is she?

pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

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What is this some kind of love triangle xD.

 

"So it seems that they are fighting about my girlfriend and I being together my friend thinks it makes things weird with the group..."

lol? That's a bull**** reason if i ever saw one.

 

I think this girl friend of yours might like you more than you think and is a bit jelly perhaps now that you got taken.

Just a thought.

 

Yep. Got it in one. She's jealous that there's a new leading lady in your life.

 

True female friends encourage their male friends when they're dating someone new. She's pissed that she's not number one anymore.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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Yep. Got it in one. She's jealous that there's a new leading lady in your life.

 

True female friends encourage their male friends when they're dating someone new. She's pissed that she's not number one anymore.

 

I can't really believe this. She has never shown any romantic interest.

 

In fact she tried to help me last year set up an OLD account. I really thought it was a waste of time though so haven't used the account, but the point is .. If she was interested in me she probably wouldn't have done that.

FrostBlaze Established Member

FrostBlaze

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If she spends a lot of time with you, more then with her usual friends and always helps out, it's because she likes you.

She either waited on you or she wasn't sure/shy and didn't wanna ruin anything. (just like you mentioned about yourself)

 

She could be jealous because she want's you, or jealous because she misses the attention and is not your no1 anymore, like Pickflicker said.

 

Idk how you can dig in this to find out for yourself.

Edited by FrostBlaze
pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

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I can't really believe this. She has never shown any romantic interest.

 

In fact she tried to help me last year set up an OLD account. I really thought it was a waste of time though so haven't used the account, but the point is .. If she was interested in me she probably wouldn't have done that.

 

Believe it. She may not want you, but she's pissed that you're with someone else.

 

That's why jealousy is highly illogical.

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