iDrumKing Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I'm through with feeling sad about my BU 2 months ago. A lot of my recovery come from the help of those here on LS. I'm very thankful for that. Coming to acceptance that things weren't meant to be is an amazing feeling. If she feels that things will be better with another guy, then more power to her. I can't help but to have something replacing those sad emotions. Anger... I want to completely be free of all feelings but can't seem to reach it... yet. The thought of how things ended truly pisses me off but I can't shake it off. I've heard that the anger stage is "more fun" than the sadness, but even at that I don't want to feel this way either.
KaliLove Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 iDrum..you're a smart guy. You know break ups come in stages. You know you're in the anger stage, and you also know it's going to pass. Silly boy..you'll get there soon enough. Look how quickly you reached the anger stage. 1
Author iDrumKing Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 iDrum..you're a smart guy. You know break ups come in stages. You know you're in the anger stage, and you also know it's going to pass. Silly boy..you'll get there soon enough. Look how quickly you reached the anger stage. I know it just sucks. I'm usually a very happy, upbeat, and forgiving person. Never in my life can I say that I've held a grudge against anyone. This might be the first 1
KaliLove Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 You won't hold a grudge forever. You won't care after a while. Then you'll find someone new and this will all be a funny story you can tell at your wedding. Well ok, maybe don't do that. But you know what I mean. 1
WYSWYG Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 iDrum, when i was at the angry stage, I hit the gym w/ it - intensified my workouts and hit the heavy bag harder. I wish I had a drum kit to pound. You end up in better shape after. I'm more manageable now but in retrospect, i was better angry than sad. 2
somedude81 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I punched a wall. My hand hurt for about a week. Broke not one but two Nintendo 3DS's. Broke a PlayStation 3 controller. Pounding my bed (where she used to sleep) when I'm trying to fall asleep. Lots of and lots of shouting. Sorry, what was this thread about again? Things I do when I'm angry about her? 1
Author iDrumKing Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 iDrum, when i was at the angry stage, I hit the gym w/ it - intensified my workouts and hit the heavy bag harder. I wish I had a drum kit to pound. You end up in better shape after. I'm more manageable now but in retrospect, i was better angry than sad. I feel yeah I do hit the gym everyday and luckily I have 3 drum sets to shred away at It's not being able to handle the anger I'm having trouble with, I simply don't want it.
mantlefan Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I'm through with feeling sad about my BU 2 months ago. A lot of my recovery come from the help of those here on LS. I'm very thankful for that. Coming to acceptance that things weren't meant to be is an amazing feeling. If she feels that things will be better with another guy, then more power to her. I can't help but to have something replacing those sad emotions. Anger... I want to completely be free of all feelings but can't seem to reach it... yet. The thought of how things ended truly pisses me off but I can't shake it off. I've heard that the anger stage is "more fun" than the sadness, but even at that I don't want to feel this way either. I wouldn't be so sure that you are through feeling sad. I am not trying to make you be afraid what's next, just to warn you so you don't despair if sadness does come back.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 I wouldn't be so sure that you are through feeling sad. I am not trying to make you be afraid what's next, just to warn you so you don't despair if sadness does come back. If it does then bring it on.
disclosure Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 iDrum, when i was at the angry stage, I hit the gym w/ it - intensified my workouts and hit the heavy bag harder. I wish I had a drum kit to pound. You end up in better shape after. I'm more manageable now but in retrospect, i was better angry than sad. Definitely some sound advice here. I doubt I will ever go through an anger stage, unless you count jealousy as anger. But then again, I wasn't the dumpee. But for me, hitting the gym is the only thing that has kept me even remotely sane. As ****ty as the 22 hours are when you may not be at the gym, the 2 or so hours you are...a break up can be the best motivation of all time and for me seems to be the time when I think about my ex the least. 1
sooshi Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 IDK, what do you think is the root of your anger/grudge?
bluegreen Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Its been two months thats by our standards is very short yet.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 IDK, what do you think is the root of your anger/grudge? I knew someone would ask me this haha. I'll give it a shot. I think my anger/grudge is stemming from the way the broke up went. I would assume that a 2 year relationship would mean enough to a someone to end things in person, not a text message and phone call. Not once, but twice. It made me feel completely worthless to be completely honest. At some point I also had doubts about the relationship, but I had the guts to express them to by gf. And you know what? IT HELPED. I mean christ I was ready to propose. Thank god I didn't. So I'm angry for the pain she put me through. Enough to make it a medical issue! Thanks for hearing me out sooshi. You've been one of the people to have a close eye on me and I appreciate it.
sooshi Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Yes, the way she broke up with you lacked respect and care for your feelings (although she might not have realized it that the time). She may have been too scared or too uncomfortable to do it in person. But still, it happened, and it really sucks that it did. So, the fact that you've felt worthless is causing you to hold his grudge and anger. I recently read something that helped me at the time: Get angry at the situation, not at the people around you (or the people involved in the situation). I still do feel angry sometimes though. And hurt and worthless. I guess the reality is we're going to go back and forth on how we feel. Sadly, I don't think my ex has been thinking about how I have been made to feel, just like I doubt your ex has been thinking about how you have been made to feel. It's tragic and it's unfair. I think they think about how THEY have felt and focus on that. We've done that too. We've been forgiving. But they allow the hurt to continue. You are not worthless. Any time you feel that way, know that it's an illusion. I know, when you feel that way, it feels more real than anything else, probably. You invested a lot into this relationship and are hurt by the way things ended, because it didn't measure up to how much you had put into those two years. It really does stink. It stinks more than a skunk. So we have to keep washing ourselves off of the stinkiness. It'll take a while, but it'll come off. Keep going to the gym, and doing things that help you feel good. Keep posting on here. Get the stinkiness out of you. Don't be a skunk yourself. 1
WYSWYG Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 IDK, what do you think is the root of your anger/grudge? Taking the dumpees stand, you wouldn't be happy either if you felt left behind. Some descriptive words include: Betrayed, used, played, or plainly dumped..
sooshi Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I was broken up with, and I absolutely do feel left behind. In fact, that's what I've been telling myself: that I've been left behind. And I feel betrayed. It has less to do with the end of the relationship and more with the end of our friendship though. I think that IDK feels that way as well-- left behind, betrayed, and probably everything on your list. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I don't know what to say. I'm 9 weeks no contact and I'm so angry with the world in general... It's good to think this too shall pass I've been angry for over a week and it's not fun at all. I'm generally a lonely person, but this has gone to the extreme. I don't want to talk with anyone, and I prefer my time alone... I guess we have to be more patients with ourselves but also be proactive. 1
sooshi Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I'm in my third week of no contact and I often still hope he'll respond and apologize for his actions (pursuing my best friend who he has never met and hardly knows, sending me the love song that he wrote for her) and that we can be on good terms again someday. It hurts me that an apology may never come. He usually sees what he's done really soon after the action and owns up to his mistakes. Maybe he doesn't see anything wrong. So yeah, it makes me hurt and angry. I like to have my alone time too. I've been having a lot of it. Better than being upset with people just because I feel this way, when they don't deserve to receive what I feel. 1
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