anemptycup Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I'd love to direct this question to any female dumpers out there... we were together 3 years - broke up several times in that time, but always came back stronger and would break-up over sometime new... (my fault normally not being able to hack arguments) or last break-up - i broke up with her after arguing - and she said she had enough... and she moved on quickly - dating and seeing other guys within a week after our break-up. we exchanged a few emails over the weekend - in which she mentioned she'd like to stay in touch from time to time as it's still hard for her.. my question is... if she wants me back - will she find a way to bring it up? I want to move on resting assured that she will if she wants me back... problem is - being torn between instinct/heart/wanting to go get her and the logical mind I'm glad i broke contact to reach out on her birthday - because when we last talked - i was begging and crying and she was in a good strong place - this time round, she seems down and sad and i took it as an opportunity to keep my boundaries and be strong, yet kind and encouraging... i've pasted our last communication below: prior to those emails she asked me how i'm doing - and i got teh feeling she wanted me or was expecting me to pour my herat out and tell her it has been hard - instead - i said i was ok and heading to thailand soon - so then she sent the message below and admitted it's been hard for her - total 180 to how she was a few months ago... and i can't help thinking she wanted to engage in a conversation talking about how hard it has been - i know her - and i know it's hard for her now.. and she needs to be in contact to make it easier... of course i plan NC - and will move on - i just want to rest assured that if she wants anything, she will come back and contact me?? i dont think she is that type... at all... seems like she will just be suffering alone.. trying to move on - thinking there's no chance - unless i do something... it's areally confusing messed up situation. here's our last emails [FONT=Verdana]Thanks you:) i will try to send you a postcard from my travels. You do the same - listen to your heart and follow the goodness within you Have no fear and let Love guide you always! You will always be in my heart. Take care and go make this your best year ever! xx [/FONT] Awesome! Well I would love for us to continue touching bases every now and again since it's still hard for me, which I'm sure it is for you too. So don't worry when I say that...I'm not expecting we chat everyday But as always, I'm here for you if you need an ear or anything else even if u r in Thailand or anywhere else in the world. Follow your heart and your dreams to reach your soul's calling everyday. Take care you!
KaliLove Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Yes, if she wanted you back she would tell you. Can you move on now? If you dump someone every time things get rough, they'll never trust you. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they're constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hope you are working on that issue.. 3
Author anemptycup Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Yes, if she wanted you back she would tell you. Can you move on now? If you dump someone every time things get rough, they'll never trust you. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they're constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hope you are working on that issue.. yes, i have been everyday - i had a major break-down and it has been brutally painful, but also extremely educational - i have been seeing a great therapist regularly - and i've realized the root causes of why i behaved teh way i did - i feel like neo from the matrix when he learns jiu jitsu in 10 seconds... teh mount i have learned and realized has been un real... and now i am working on applying it in my day to day actions... and you are 100% right - it's the trust that has been broken... and there's nothing i can do to rebuild it... all i can focus on is myself... and working on my own self love.. i know.. thanks for answering my question. 1
Author anemptycup Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 (IF) so much its said in so little. right - as in - if she wants me back.. how likely is it that she'll take actions...
Simon Phoenix Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 right - as in - if she wants me back.. how likely is it that she'll take actions... If she truly wants you back she'll make the necessary effort. 1
bluegreen Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 And until she does and says magic words TAKE ME BACK I BEG YOU. You do nothing you do not break N C not cause you are playing some silly game but because of you. Your health happiness well being and 100 things depends on that 2
Author anemptycup Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 got it. she'll never do that... in her mind it's done and over... and there's no reason she can trust me - i'm learning that what makes a break-up harder is when you leave with a lot of things unsaid... there's so much i wish i could convey to her - but... it's too late i guess - and i guess if it's meant to be - she'll come back. thnx for reading and your feedback. it's greatly appreciated.
bluegreen Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 : ))) You are most welcome and its no need to thank me. This is really done with pleasure and even with more pleasure when we see that you guys "hear and get us " 1
hudson701 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Yeah that's my gut feeling, which is what I am thinking with my current ex. If she wants to come back, she will come back. It's difficult waiting it out, but it's a good test and you'll know for sure then if she initiates the first contact. Nothing can be forced, this is what I am releasing. NC keeps you safe and away from knowledge that could potentially destroy you. 1
barky2 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 As someone who's seen / witnessed it wit people on here, personal experiences, friends and family.... If they want you back they'll move a mountain and they're intentions will be awfully clear. Until you get that ( if ever ) continue moving on. Barky 2
d0nnivain Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 The fact that you broke up & reconciled several times over the course of your relationship tells me it was dysfunctional to begin with. You think you got stronger each time but you really got weaker. This time its over. You both need to move on to something healthier. The breadcrumbs are merely a residual of 3 years together. The familiarity of being together sometimes makes it tough to have a clean break as opposed to the gradual tearing apart you are doing. 2
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