Lyn77 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Why do men initiate dating/talking to you and then back off? What if a man has done this several times to a woman??? Right when she decides to move on (and for the love of God, this man is everything she has ever wanted!) he decides to initiate things again!! Men--Why do guys do this? Ladies--What would you do? Tell him to go take a hike?? LOL:lmao:
soccerrprp Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Lyn77, For personal reasons and beyond, please allow me to be blunt... You are an example of just another woman who is going to get hurt a lot!!!!!!!!!!! You have little or no respect for yourself, your time, your feelings, your value, etc. YOU HAVE NO IDEA if this guy represents everything you've ever wanted. From the sounds of it, you haven't even started dating him! I suspect your feelings, as of now, are purely superficial and nothing more. You are being manipulated and you seem to have little or no self control. 3rd chance?!?!?!? What are you thinking? Most sensible women would toss this guy and move on....I dare to hope you do too. You laugh at the end of your post, but your little situation is very, very sad. 3
Gaeta Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 He's going back to you when he has nothing else going on. Nothing cute in being used as a filler over and over again. Yes you kick to the curb. 4
Fondue Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 It's not because he doesn't respect you or that you're a second option (or whatever similar, really). It's because he wants to see if YOU have enough interest in HIM. If you take the initiative when he doesn't, he knows you like him back. Sometimes men want validation, too. Just like women. 2
Phantom888 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Not all men do this, but the ones that do, it's because they are conditioned to do so. They basically get away with such bad behavior because the women allow them to. It's positive reinforcement. It's not to say it's the woman's fault. It just takes two people to reinforce each other, and the net product is usually toxic and messy. Not the kind of relationship anyone wants to be in. 1
HappyLove Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 He does it because you let him. You're the second now third choice. Things didn't work out with his first choice or maybe he's even cheating on her. Don't let anyone play you for a fool. You deserve better.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 He wants what he cant have.. so keep doing what your doing... and be smug ;-) x 1
Strength in Healing Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 He wants what he cant have.. so keep doing what your doing... and be smug ;-) x Is this a joke? Good God get outta here with this. And to the topic creator, you need a backbone. I have to tell it like it is...
HappyLove Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 He wants what he cant have.. so keep doing what your doing... and be smug ;-) x But he CAN have her anytime he wants apparently, she's there sitting ready and waiting every time he comes back and throws her some pathetic bread crumbs. He's the one who keeps leaving!
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I meant he wants what he cant have which is why he leaves when he has her then wants her back when she moves on... she should keep doing what she's doing (getting on with her life!) and be smug for walking away x 1
Author Lyn77 Posted March 31, 2014 Author Posted March 31, 2014 Goodness! Some of your replies were way outta bounds. But of course you made assumptions based on limited information, I appreciate your opinions. I have known the guy for several years and I am not sitting and waiting. I have been dating. I just wanted to hear non-biased opinions on the situation. I am a Leo, and very opinionated, independent and don't settle. So I have decided to ignore his attempts at "winning me over" again 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Goodness! Some of your replies were way outta bounds. But of course you made assumptions based on limited information, I appreciate your opinions. I have known the guy for several years and I am not sitting and waiting. I have been dating. I just wanted to hear non-biased opinions on the situation. I am a Leo, and very opinionated, independent and don't settle. So I have decided to ignore his attempts at "winning me over" again I was thinking the same! x 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Why do men initiate dating/talking to you and then back off? What if a man has done this several times to a woman??? Right when she decides to move on (and for the love of God, this man is everything she has ever wanted!) he decides to initiate things again!! Men--Why do guys do this? Ladies--What would you do? Tell him to go take a hike?? LOL:lmao: People want what they can't have. Though maybe you're boring and hot so his brain tells him to stop communicating but then his dong brings him right back to you in time!
Mrin Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I object to some of the comments here about spines and backbones. That being said, there are very few positive explanations for this sort of behavior. Most likely it is contingency planning or fallback planning. Or he needs his ego stroked. Or he is just making sure he has options. Or he is just keeping a plate spinning. They're all pretty much the same. The only positive explanation I can think of is that he is terribly shy or bad at asking women out. He might be buzz texting when alcohol gives him some confidence. But other than that - ya the dude isn't serious. 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 I object to some of the comments here about spines and backbones. That being said, there are very few positive explanations for this sort of behavior. Most likely it is contingency planning or fallback planning. Or he needs his ego stroked. Or he is just making sure he has options. Or he is just keeping a plate spinning. They're all pretty much the same. The only positive explanation I can think of is that he is terribly shy or bad at asking women out. He might be buzz texting when alcohol gives him some confidence. But other than that - ya the dude isn't serious. Agree x there are multiple reasons why people do things & everyone is unique.. Sometimes comments are very defensive & pigeon holed x 1
Author Lyn77 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 I've never had the complexity of dating someone out of my "league" until now that I am a single mother in my thirties. And I'm not just talking money here. Most of the successful eligible bachelors my age, do not have children and want children. Which makes it hard for me, since I do NOT plan on more children. 100% sure of it. These men also have the ability to travel anytime they want, which I do not since I have a family. The majority of the responses I've gotten from online, family and friends, are that people don't buy into leagues. I do however, think if someone is in a different place in their life than you, for instance single, successful, wealthy man with no children dating a single divorced mother with a mediocre career, the romance can surely fizzle. Who knows!
truth_seeker Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Sounds like a test. To see how much you're into him... and to see how much he can get away with by playing games with you.
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