What would you all have done?

[kane30us]

I dated a girl I met online for about 8 weeks. We went very slow. I MEAN SLOW!! Only 3 dates in the 8 weeks because she had two kids and no free time. But spoke on the phone and text messaged everyday. Then red flags started coming. She seemed so distant. We became FB friends and her FB profile has a bunch of pics of her ex. I asked why she still has those photos online. He's moved on and is living with another girl. Her response was, she hasn't thought about it all that much and she forgot they were still there. And many many more red flags - she was not her typical happy self. The biggest red flag was she showed no emotions or affection at all on last date. Then I remember her telling me her mother is like that. So I chalked it up to her being like her mother.

 

So, I asked "what was up"? Her response was we are moving way too fast (Keep in mine, only 3 dates in 8 weeks) and she doesn't want a relationship now (I never brought up relationships with her) She said she really likes getting to know me and still wants to see me.

 

A week goes by and nothing has changed she's still not the girl I knew the first 6 weeks. Anyway, I tend to over think things and I listen to my Intuition. So I gave her space and left her alone. That was 3 months ago. My regret is she feels I gave up on her too soon. I gave up because I felt like I was going to be nothing more but a rebound guy. The short time I knew her I really fell for her. My friends say I dogged a bullet and did the right thing. It doesn't make me feel better. I also ended our FB friendship when we stopped talking. So I think she may have took that to heart. See..over thinking things I sent her a text last week and she responded with "I miss ya" but has not responded back to my last two messages. I know she's moved on and so should I and I will. Just want some opinions on what you all would have done. Sorry for the long message!!

Edited March 28, 2014 by kane30us

[Zahara]

Gave up on her too soon? She told you she didn't want a relationship anytime soon and if your expectations different from hers, than yes you did the right thing.

 

The other thing, when you start seeing red flags, it's cautionary and you should be exiting. You shouldn't be back peddling and wondering if you made the wrong decision. She's not even responding to your messages. She's not interested.

[mammasita]

Im calling the BS flag.

 

I dont care if she has 2 kids. Ever heard of a sitter?

 

If she really wanted to see you, she'd find a way. You did the right thing, she wasn't into you enough. Find someone who wants to see you and spend more time with you.

[KaliLove]

If you're having doubts about someone and seeing red flags within 8 weeks, the relationship is clearly not going to work out. At least you didn't invest any more time in this chick.

[d0nnivain]

She told you that you were going too fast (even though you were going painfully slow). She said she didn't want a relationship. You respected her wishes. Now she's complaining that you "gave up too fast". That kind of push-pull -- I want you to chase me test -- is BS. If she is old enough to have 3 kids I hope to God she's out of high school because her behavior indicates that she has the maturity level of a kid.

[kane30us]

d0nnivain

 

You are so right! Because I grew to like her I tend to ignore that. But, you are not the first person to say that. Thanks, everyone. I feel better hearing all this.

[KathyM]

I agree with the others, that if she was really interested in getting to know you, she would make time to spend with you, and be more responsive to your calls/texts. It sounds like she is not that interested, and is giving you some mixed messages and wants to keep you as an option or backup. You did the right thing by breaking up with her.