flight E Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 In my first post I meant a guy who is not mean but is very capable of it
devilish innocent Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 It's only been a few weeks since she broke up with you. It's understandable that you'd be this emotional right now. I can tell that underneath all of that emotion is a rational side to you. You're doing the right thing by maintaining no contact. You know you need to let go. I'm kind of concerned that you're bettering yourself for her. It's your life. You should be doing things for you. Once a person has gotten to the point of being ready to break-up, they no longer care about the changes you're making. She may care as a friend, for your sake. She's past the point of being willing to consider you as a mate though. If you're doing these things in hopes of winning her back, then what's going to happen when you realize she's not coming back? You're likely to lose the enthusiasm and energy for everything. You need to think about what you want for yourself, regardless of whether not it's what she wants for you. That way, when you stop caring about her, you'll only be a step closer toward becoming that person. The tomorrow without her will be a lot better than you realize, but you have to stop living your life for her in order for it to happen.
mantlefan Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 It's only been a few weeks since she broke up with you. It's understandable that you'd be this emotional right now. I can tell that underneath all of that emotion is a rational side to you. You're doing the right thing by maintaining no contact. You know you need to let go. I'm kind of concerned that you're bettering yourself for her. It's your life. You should be doing things for you. Once a person has gotten to the point of being ready to break-up, they no longer care about the changes you're making. She may care as a friend, for your sake. She's past the point of being willing to consider you as a mate though. If you're doing these things in hopes of winning her back, then what's going to happen when you realize she's not coming back? You're likely to lose the enthusiasm and energy for everything. You need to think about what you want for yourself, regardless of whether not it's what she wants for you. That way, when you stop caring about her, you'll only be a step closer toward becoming that person. The tomorrow without her will be a lot better than you realize, but you have to stop living your life for her in order for it to happen. I would have to agree with a lot of this. When I first started out after the breakup, I pretty much didn't do anything but try to get her back. I worked for hours at a time on letters to her, making sure they said exactly what I wanted to say, and sending them every couple weeks (this is before I had ever heard of LS) I did a lot of running, imagining each step was closer to getting her back. (I'm pretty embarrassed about that now, looking back. Fortunately, before I found out that she was lying to me and the real reason was she was with my "friend," I started to be motivated instead by beating previous times and distances, for my OWN accomplishment). Anyways, I put pretty much everything I had for a long time in trying to get her back. And talk about a bad investment! If I had known the truth of what she was thinking, I hesitate to think of all the useful stuff I could have done in the time I was writing to her.
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