carol3493 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Hello. I've been with my bf for about a little over a year and since I could remember he's always done this very sporatically but it has became frequent since we have moved in together. The last time he threatened to leave me he actually moved out but he moved back in 2 days later. Now a week later we had a misunderstanding and he started threatening me to leave again. This is emotionally draining and don;t know how much longer I could take of this. Why after every arguement does he threaten to break up with me?
David87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Because he knows that you don't want to brake up. I think now it's a perfect time to give him a lesson. This behaviour has to stop. 1
Phantom888 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 This is a bad habit. If he can't learn to control himself, you need to leave him. Can you imagine him doing this 5 years from now? I mean it is obvious you two won't last much longer, since he is acting like this after only 1 year. Don't waste your time with him. It will end eventually, so you might as well start preparing. Find a new place to live and start over.
RedRobin Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Its emotional blackmail and very unhealthy. I also consider it a form of bullying.... that instead of having a rational discussion about the issues, they threaten to leave... which often times just deflects the problem and things never get resolved. Conflict resolution 101 7
AntiSocal Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Immature and maybe doesn't even want to be in the relationship. Sit him down and talk about it. Tell him that you guys need to start talking out your problems and communicating instead of arguing. Also tell him that if he breaks up with you even one more time, no matter how angry he is, that you're gonna leave him forever because you can't put up with the emotional strain it is causing. 2
David87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Immature and maybe doesn't even want to be in the relationship. Sit him down and talk about it. Tell him that you guys need to start talking out your problems and communicating instead of arguing. Also tell him that if he breaks up with you even one more time, no matter how angry he is, that you're gonna leave him forever because you can't put up with the emotional strain it is causing. Yeah, do that, he knows what he's talking about.
Sweetnothing Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Really? Using breakups to twist your arm? That's the best way this loser can dissolve a conflict? He's being an *sshole and you're being a doormat. Here's a tip: when someone threatens to walk out of your life, you hold the door open. He knows the fastest way to make you shut up and comply is to break your heart again and again. Find some strength. You can live without this loser. Next time, instead of crying and begging or however you may want to react, say "I'll help you pack." Stuff all his sh*t into garbage bags, toss it in his car, and go inside. Then you start redecorating. All the pictures and things that remind you of him would look SO nice in a box in the back of the closet. Oh and some new locks would REALLY look great. And right before you call the locksmith, delete your new ex from your contact list. And his mom, and his friends. Then you change your sheets cos for some reason they just reek like some sh*tbag was lying on them earlier. Then you rearrange your furniture - seriously. It's your house now. Go get that adorable kitten you always wanted and invite all your girlfriends over to meet her. Welcome to your brand new life. 7
d0nnivain Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 It means he doesn't know how to handle conflict. It's a matter of brinksmanship. It also shows that he'd rather run from his problems then face them head on. You do not have a future with this man-child. He needs to grow up.
Syconort Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I have a close friend in the same situation. They have been on/off for the last year or so. He broke up with her last time, and then couple days ago broke up with her over text to her MUM! Then he apologised the day after. It's painful to see someone you like torture themselves like this. Do you honestly think he won't do this again?? Leave him and move on! There are plenty of *good men* out there who don't have to resort to emotional abuse. If this is how he acts, what do you think is going on in his head? Trust me. Leave the child. Don't be a doormat.
Strength in Healing Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Likely bipolar, and borderline personality disorder.
soccerrprp Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Hello. I've been with my bf for about a little over a year and since I could remember he's always done this very sporatically but it has became frequent since we have moved in together. The last time he threatened to leave me he actually moved out but he moved back in 2 days later. Now a week later we had a misunderstanding and he started threatening me to leave again. This is emotionally draining and don;t know how much longer I could take of this. Why after every arguement does he threaten to break up with me? LEAVE HIM! He is not LTR, commitment material. Too unstable and incapable of maturely and rationally dealing with adversity when it comes to you. Another thing is that it sounds like you two are not meant to be considering the numerous "misunderstanding" you have. 1
TXGuy Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Why don't you just agree with him that is is over and the stick to your decision? It sounds like you are living together, so there are some logistical issues to work out. Figure out the logistics and make it happen. The first threat to break up can be an effective wake up call to change one side's behavior. A second threat starts to sound like manipulation. I don't understand why anyone would put up with it the third time. You have already gone through the emotional turmoil of assuming the relationship was over (twice). By the third time, I would welcome the break up.
aussietigerwolf Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I have a close friend in the same situation. They have been on/off for the last year or so. He broke up with her last time, and then couple days ago broke up with her over text to her MUM! Then he apologised the day after. It's painful to see someone you like torture themselves like this. Do you honestly think he won't do this again?? Leave him and move on! There are plenty of *good men* out there who don't have to resort to emotional abuse. If this is how he acts, what do you think is going on in his head? Trust me. Leave the child. Don't be a doormat. I had an ex who got his mum to break up with me by letter... we lived together and he was in his 30's and he got his mum to break up with me with a letter he had her write.... seriously lass, you will feel much better without this loser.
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