Strength in Healing Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Well, normally, I would never have gotten into a relationship so soon after exiting one. (My recent ex broke up with me about 2 months ago after a 4 year relationship... though I emotionally checked out around year 2... just stayed with her because I was comfortable and thought she was physically attractive.. I know, I know. Long story short, she left me randomly and started hanging with a creepy older guy). But here I am. I met a girl, and she turned out to be special. Well, I met a LOT of girls, so this one WAS special because she is the only one I wanted a relationship with. Never had so much in common with someone. We went on dates for a month or so, and I felt compelled to make it official. So I asked her, and we did. That's all good and well. Here's where the problem comes in -- I now have a sense of impending doom for some reason. I feel like she is going to break up with me like my ex did, or something. Perhaps a "too good to be true" type feeling. I don't know what to do, really. I over analyze. Yes, I know psychology would dictate I'm not ready for a relationship. But I weighed that against the fact that this girl stood out amongst a sea of others, she's special, and I would regret giving her up if I did, and I'd regret it LONG after the day I fully am healed. I don't know what advice I'm looking for, but perhaps just wanted to vent. I am in the police academy and work out at the gym, so I text her in between every day and before we go to sleep every night. We only can see each other on the weekends. I just have some anxiety that that gap through out the week leaves an opportunity for feelings to die. God, reading this, I see I have an anxiety disorder or something. So what I should really ask is, does anyone have any tips on how to keep things interesting when you can only talk so many times a day, and only see each other on the weekends?
Sweetnothing Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 So you know you're not ready to be in a relationship, but you're pursuing it anyway. My best advice would be to take things slooooowwwwlyyyyy. Hold off on sex, hold off on sleepovers, hold off on taking any major steps and be honest with her! From a girl's point of view, PLEASE do not be "that guy" who disappears for 2 weeks while he "figures stuff out". It hurts. Be honest.
Grumpybutfun Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 We don't always have to react to what we feel. As long as you know that this is a byproduct of abandonment feelings from your last relationship, you accept this construct your mind gives you and you work through the anxiety with your own counsel. In other words, do what you believe to be correct for you right at this same moment and don't let emotions dictate them to you. This is when and where logic comes into play. If you don't learn how to not react to every emotion you have, you are going to be shying away and running every time something fails in your life. This is a great opportunity for you to figure out how to manage your anxiety and make logical choices based on fact rather than emotion. I know it hurts for a relationship,to end, but you said before that you had already checked out so moving on is exactly what you needed to do even if it took you out of your comfort zone. Good luck, Grumps
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I would just take a step back and realize there's billions of girls in the world, if it works out it does. If not, you will go on and meet someone great. Why worry over basically the unknown? You can't change the unknown. So don't stress.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 are you straight or a homosexual? Back from the dead?
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 wtf are you talking about? Your other account?
topaMAXX Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 flavius hosephs just got sentenced to 20 years in jail for robbing a bank on cartoon network. he's so dumb. What point are you trying to make here?
Phantom888 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 OP, try to slow your mind down a bit. I know exactly what you are feeling, because this is insecurity that arises when your brain is fighting your heart. You feel that maybe you don't deserve such happiness, so you get this anxious doom feeling. Try to go see a therapist and talk things out weekly. Add a low dosage of anti-anxiety meds if necessary. That really helps. If this girl is as special as you think, she might just be THE ONE. Don't mess things up because of your anxieties. Go get some help to reign your fears in.
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