futuregopher Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I've been dating this girl for the past two months and she called it off a couple of weeks ago because she felt like there was no progress being made in the relationship. She said I never paid enough attention/showed enough affection for her. Our relationship was too "routine" and she didn't like that. Well let me tell my side of the story. My work from January to April is roughly 80 hours per week. I haven't had a weekend off since the 2nd week of january. I simply didn't have enough time to see her/do couple like things because I was always trapped at work. She said it was no excuse. I wish she gave me more support instead of doing this to me when I'm working 8AM-11PM everyday and 15 hours on weekends. She broke up with me a couple of weeks ago for the reasons cited above while she was having her period. I begged and cried but she said she didn't give second chances. That was on last sunday, almost 2 weeks ago. Last thursday, I left the office at midnight and went to her place with roses/desserts from a local deli since everything else was closed. She was already sleeping but came out to see me. I just dropped off the stuff and left. It was a 2 minute encounter. Then, the next day on Friday, I left work at 9PM to get crumbs and bring it to her place. I wanted it to be a surprise so I didn't call/text her. I put false time constrainst saying "I had to go soon, I can't stay for long", and we talked like we were a couple and I left after about 2 hrs of just catching up. I did the same thing on saturday but after like 20 minutes, she went cold and kicked me out saying that there was no point to trying because it's a waste of time and that I was being selfish for trying my best to try to get a 2nd chance. She also asked for more space. I haven't contacted her since this past saturday when that happened since apparently thats what she wanted. I'm deciding to make one more attempt or just move on. Two days ago, i ordered an arrangement of 18 rose/etc to be delivered to her work on Friday (tomorrow). I'm also going to Laduree to pick up a pretty box of 8 macaroons since she apparently loves french stuff. I also secretly made reservations for saturday at 7:15pm at Bouley (I'm located in NYC). I hope this works and it's going to be my last shot since one of my best friend's girlfriend said to do this and if she doesn't accept it, just move on and stop wasting my time. I think she's pretty right on about this whole situation. I just feel like I'm losing someone because my hands were tied because I was at work 90 hours a week. What do you guys think? Am I being foolish? She said she didn't have time for me to "man up and change" so I'm trying to do my best in the shortest amount of time and this kind of makes sense to me. I really hope she says yes to dinner and giving me a second chance. My friends girlfriend said I needed to do something very romantic because it sounds like she broke up with me because I wasn't romantic or lovey dovey in the first place so I have to do something of this caliber to change her mind.
Grumpybutfun Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Regardless if she gives you a second chance or not, and you cant make her, you are still working 90 hour weeks so the same issues will come up. I wouldn't waste my money or time trying to get a girl, I would spend them trying to find a job where I could actually live my life, have fun and date since you seem to be really young. Good luck, Grumps
Darren Steez Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I've been dating this girl for the past two months and she called it off a couple of weeks ago because she felt like there was no progress being made in the relationship. She said I never paid enough attention/showed enough affection for her. Our relationship was too "routine" and she didn't like that. Well let me tell my side of the story. My work from January to April is roughly 80 hours per week. I haven't had a weekend off since the 2nd week of january. I simply didn't have enough time to see her/do couple like things because I was always trapped at work. She said it was no excuse. I wish she gave me more support instead of doing this to me when I'm working 8AM-11PM everyday and 15 hours on weekends. She broke up with me a couple of weeks ago for the reasons cited above while she was having her period. I begged and cried but she said she didn't give second chances. That was on last sunday, almost 2 weeks ago. Last thursday, I left the office at midnight and went to her place with roses/desserts from a local deli since everything else was closed. She was already sleeping but came out to see me. I just dropped off the stuff and left. It was a 2 minute encounter. Then, the next day on Friday, I left work at 9PM to get crumbs and bring it to her place. I wanted it to be a surprise so I didn't call/text her. I put false time constrainst saying "I had to go soon, I can't stay for long", and we talked like we were a couple and I left after about 2 hrs of just catching up. I did the same thing on saturday but after like 20 minutes, she went cold and kicked me out saying that there was no point to trying because it's a waste of time and that I was being selfish for trying my best to try to get a 2nd chance. She also asked for more space. I haven't contacted her since this past saturday when that happened since apparently thats what she wanted. I'm deciding to make one more attempt or just move on. Two days ago, i ordered an arrangement of 18 rose/etc to be delivered to her work on Friday (tomorrow). I'm also going to Laduree to pick up a pretty box of 8 macaroons since she apparently loves french stuff. I also secretly made reservations for saturday at 7:15pm at Bouley (I'm located in NYC). I hope this works and it's going to be my last shot since one of my best friend's girlfriend said to do this and if she doesn't accept it, just move on and stop wasting my time. I think she's pretty right on about this whole situation. I just feel like I'm losing someone because my hands were tied because I was at work 90 hours a week. What do you guys think? Am I being foolish? She said she didn't have time for me to "man up and change" so I'm trying to do my best in the shortest amount of time and this kind of makes sense to me. I really hope she says yes to dinner and giving me a second chance. My friends girlfriend said I needed to do something very romantic because it sounds like she broke up with me because I wasn't romantic or lovey dovey in the first place so I have to do something of this caliber to change her mind. FFS man. Read what you've written. You work long hours, don't do weekends, dont have much time off. Welcome to life!! While you're working hard and suffering, she's b*tching about how there's no time for her? Does she work? Meanwhile even after splitting up she has you running around getting her food and flowers! STOP!! Dinner and flowers are not going to fix anything. I'm betting you were "lovey-dovey" enough when you were with her, maybe you didn't buy her flowers but what exactly did she do for you? Show you support when you were working all those long hours? So what's your plan after the dinner and roses? Are you going to quit your job? Because that's the issue right? Stop chasing her tail. Plenty of women who'd appreciate a man who works hard..then again you sound very young, chalk this one up to experience
Author futuregopher Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 thanks for the reply guys, didn't work out well. I'm in public accounting so those hell hours are from january to end of march. I was honestly 2 weeks from being free from those hell hours before she called it off. That's the part that really gets to me I'm gonna try again but try to be more "gradual" this time. I hate giving up on something like this
Simon Phoenix Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 thanks for the reply guys, didn't work out well. I'm in public accounting so those hell hours are from january to end of march. I was honestly 2 weeks from being free from those hell hours before she called it off. That's the part that really gets to me I'm gonna try again but try to be more "gradual" this time. I hate giving up on something like this It's not up to you to try. It's up to her to decide she wants you back.
Author futuregopher Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 It's not up to you to try. It's up to her to decide she wants you back. Yeah I totally get that. I'm gonna try to go back to doing things that made her like me. Hopefully that'll make her "want me" back.
maturityassets Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Yeah I totally get that. I'm gonna try to go back to doing things that made her like me. Hopefully that'll make her "want me" back. I don't think you fully understand. you have to live your life beyond what made her like you. You have to live life for yourself, that would be the only authentic way to find someone who likes you for you... let alone this ex of yours
Simon Phoenix Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Yeah I totally get that. I'm gonna try to go back to doing things that made her like me. Hopefully that'll make her "want me" back. You really aren't listening to what we are saying.
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