mantlefan Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Hi All. My ex dumped me for a mutual friend 8 months ago, found out about that second little detail 3 months ago. I promptly blocked her number, blocked both of them on Facebook, deleted her from my personal email, deleted all of our conversations, and put a bunch of the other crap (pics, letters) on a couple cd's and locked it away. I still talk to her every now and then over my work email for work reasons, and have done an OK job of staying on business only in those (even though I delete half of what I write before I send it) So her birthday is coming up in two days. And I have been thinking about telling her happy birthday. And then I realized, the only real line of communication I have left with her is the work email, which isn't really something I would send a birthday greeting through. So I guess, there's really nothing to debate with myself about. I sort of feel like sending her those 2 words, maybe a smiley face. But thanks to the advice on here, I really don't have an avenue to do that. And that feels good. Thanks for the advice everyone, and for those of you who are still debating whether or not to block/delete/hide as much as you can of your ex, I hope you do it sooner than later. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Yeah, this girl not only dumped you, but started going out with your friend. If you sent a happy birthday with a smiley face, you'd look like a chump. I'm glad you aren't doing it, though it's concerning that you would actually think to do that. You don't try to cozy up to people who treat you like crap. Like I've said to you before, being a nice guy does not equal being a pushover. 2
Author mantlefan Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Yeah, this girl not only dumped you, but started going out with your friend. If you sent a happy birthday with a smiley face, you'd look like a chump. I'm glad you aren't doing it, though it's concerning that you would actually think to do that. You don't try to cozy up to people who treat you like crap. Like I've said to you before, being a nice guy does not equal being a pushover. Maybe a few clarifications. I am starting to see that "dumped me and started to go out with my friend" is probably not chronologically accurate. I think they are a lot more simultaneous than I used to think. Anyways, I am not sure if I would actually do it at this point even if it was as easy as a facebook post. But you are not the only one who is concerned that it even entered my head. Maybe it's just that I miss the times we sometimes had on her birthday. That seems like the least bad reason. At least I didn't say "best reason." That might let me trick myself into thinking there are ANY good ones.
Trovador Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 It's like keeping out of home the bottle when you are trying to keep sober... although I think this is infinitely harder than refraining of sending a message to someone who doesn't care at all about the sender...
Author mantlefan Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 For whatever reason, the notion that she will be spending this birthday most likely underneath my "friend" popped into my head. The willingness to tell her happy birthday has been thoroughly replaced.
Author mantlefan Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Why do you have to hide? Sorry, what do you mean?
nessaaa Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Sorry, what do you mean? You said block delete and hide?
Author mantlefan Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 You said block delete and hide? Oh I get it. I meant some things I don't really want to just throw out. A cd with some pics of use etc. I have those buried away somewhere I'd have to go through a lot of deliberate effort to drag out.
InnocentMan Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 The first birthday after a break up is always tricky. You probably wont even remember the date next year. I can't remember a single one of any my ex's birth dates. Perks of a terrible memory probably.
Author mantlefan Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 The first birthday after a break up is always tricky. You probably wont even remember the date next year. I can't remember a single one of any my ex's birth dates. Perks of a terrible memory probably. I'm a history teacher.
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