Grumpybutfun Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Slow the wedding down already. You are suffocating me with your "gotta get this locked up as soon as possible" attitude...she is dating you to see if you are compatible for dating exclusively. This is normal and very healthy in finding a compatible person to spend time with. Take the time to really get to know her. Show her you are an amazing person with interests, a deep side, and a fun side. Actually figure out who she is and who you are when you are with her before you break out the ring. This is nuts. Guys are way too gung ho on getting serious before getting to know someone and the "tap that before she bolts" sex talk just shows immaturity and desperate behavior. Confident men don't think that way because they know that every girl who comes along may not be right for them. You are dating to see if you are compatible. If you are compatible and you have a great time together and your interests, morals, values, timing are in correlation it may move to the next level. Dating at three weeks should be fun information fact gathering. Breathe and slow down, Grumps
kaylan Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) She thinks she can do better. Thats usually why a woman wouldnt commit. If you want a commitment, then just bail OP. Sure 3 weeks is quick...but keeping a dating profile means shes still weighing other options. PS - did you hit it ? lolz Edited March 30, 2014 by kaylan 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 She considers herself out of your league (as in better catch than you) and she is probably right. That's also the reason why you want to lock it down real quick. In my experience men are inspired to commit ASAP when they know that's the absolute best they can do. She may end up commiting but you are by no means her dream guy. Sorry to be blunt but it is what it is.
Author Supes Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 Slow the wedding down already. You are suffocating me with your "gotta get this locked up as soon as possible" attitude... We met online, things are going good between us so I simply asked if we should delete our profiles. No one is looking to pop the question anytime soon or 'lock anything down'. I was just wondering what she means by that. I've cooled off a little these past few days. We went out last night and had a lot of fun but inbetween dates I'm not contacting her as much. Half to play it cool and half to protect myself somewhat incase it all goes south.
mema1982 Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Should I get out? Should I go on cruise control? Should I try talk about it again? Any advice? be a man DON'T EVER CHASE HER AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHE'S CHOOSING YOU!!! YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S MAKING THE DECISION HERE You don't need to get out just don't be the one that initiate things to take it further .... in the meantime date others have fun and be the passive guy here DON'T SHOW ENTHUSIASM !!!!
Author Supes Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 If you have fun on the dates with her, continue seeing her. Try not to focus on the end goal - making her your girlfriend presumably - but enjoy the process of getting to know her. My boyfriend was very eager from the start and if it were up to him we would have been exclusive by date 2 and seeing each other twice a week from the start. I felt a bit overwhelmed and pressured because I was still taking my time getting to know him and did not want to rush into anything. Mostly because I have been burned in the past. So 3 weeks in I even told him that we should probably just be friends because I was not ready and felt like he was on a schedule that I could not keep up with. I was still getting to know him and he was ready to call me his girlfriend. He agreed to take it slow and be more patient. Two months later we are in a committed relationship and I am crazy about him. So I think her wanting to take it slow does not necessarily mean she is waiting for something better to come along, she might just be cautious. My advice is to give it a bit more time, don't wait forever but maybe give it 2-3 months before you revisit the conversation. She already said she was only seeing you, so just enjoy dating her and show her through your behavior that you are an amazing guy and that she would be crazy to not give this is a chance. Good luck! Just out of curiosity, how did you two go from taking time apart to being an item? What happened inbetween? Was his lack of contact something that made you think more and more about him or was he regularly in touch during this time?
TB Rhine Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I respectfully disagree. Apparently, however, the only acceptable behavior around here seems to be diving headfirst immediately into a serious committed relationship. Having sex with someone does not constitute entering into such an arrangement (though the world might be a better place, or at least male/female relations a heck of a lot healthier, if it did). If they haven't slept together yet, it's either because she's not interested and is fending him off, or he hasn't made a move and she's friendzoned him because of it. If they have, that plus the three weeks to a month time frame is a red flag for me. It would be great if people took their time before jumping head-first into things, but in my experience that's just not what they do. When you meet a new person and you're over the moon, you're MOST in love/infatuated after those first few weeks, not weighing your options and making pro and con lists and talking about "taking things slow."
topaMAXX Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Slow the wedding down already. You are suffocating me with your "gotta get this locked up as soon as possible" attitude...she is dating you to see if you are compatible for dating exclusively. This is normal and very healthy in finding a compatible person to spend time with. Take the time to really get to know her. Show her you are an amazing person with interests, a deep side, and a fun side. Actually figure out who she is and who you are when you are with her before you break out the ring. This is nuts. Guys are way too gung ho on getting serious before getting to know someone and the "tap that before she bolts" sex talk just shows immaturity and desperate behavior. Confident men don't think that way because they know that every girl who comes along may not be right for them. You are dating to see if you are compatible. If you are compatible and you have a great time together and your interests, morals, values, timing are in correlation it may move to the next level. Dating at three weeks should be fun information fact gathering. Breathe and slow down, Grumps Sorry, dude. But again, you are from an older generation. This is not how women operate in today's world. The poster below you, Kaylan, is very good at disciphering motives and actions. Take a peak at some of his posts.
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