mtber75 Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I was talking with an friend recently and he told me a story that a friend of his not only married this woman that he dated in the past. But also got her pregnant! He made it seem like its not a big deal because he said he was glad that he didn't go forward with her because she was too impulsive in marrying his other friend and he don't want that kind of a girl? I'm like dude that's a violation of friends to go out with the ex! He even defended the guy by saying that he's a really nice guy and it wasn't intentional? He even coached him on what she liked and disliked? I think he was used by his friend so that he could get with this woman? I personally wouldn't be friends with someone who dated my ex, let alone marry one! What do you guys think? Would you stay friends with someone who did this to you?
whichwayisup Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 If he is totally over his ex and moved past it, who cares? Especially if his friend does really like/love the girl. Seems it doesn't bother your friend much at all. 5
Raena Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 That depends on the ex. If it was someone I just went on a few dates with and wasn't all that serious with then, yeah, it wouldn't be a big deal... especially if we talked about it first. However... if it was someone I really cared for and was serious with and the friend knew this, then I wouldn't be so cool about it. We wouldn't be friends any longer after that. Not close friends anyhow, it would just make things way too uncomfortable. 1
ASG Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I've seen this happen to friends of mine and can't say it phased me much. Friend 1 dated this guy for a couple of years. They broke up. Years later friend 2 started dating the same guy (we were all friends). It's been a few years and they're now married and expecting their first child. Personally, I think there is a statute of limitations on how long you can claim "ownership" of a person. I wouldn't be thrilled if a "friend" started dating an ex of mine a couple of months after we broke up. But a couple of years? I'd wish them all the best. 3
Tayla Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Love the statute of limitations remark!!! Its soooo true! There really is zero tolerance of ownership once the break has transpired. The level of motive and level of friendship may well play a part in how i think or feel about the news. Some friends i'd say.... Have at it! Other ones ... Id be hesistant in gathering particularly if i knew they were using one another.... If they genuinely blend then good-o for 'em!!! 1
Author mtber75 Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 That depends on the ex. If it was someone I just went on a few dates with and wasn't all that serious with then, yeah, it wouldn't be a big deal... especially if we talked about it first. However... if it was someone I really cared for and was serious with and the friend knew this, then I wouldn't be so cool about it. We wouldn't be friends any longer after that. Not close friends anyhow, it would just make things way too uncomfortable. I suppose it does depend on how serious the relationship was! I don't think he was seeing her that much anyways. But interestingly, his other friend was seeking his advise on how to approach her and my friend gave it to him? I do think this bothered him though because his other friend had done this before where he dated my friend's ex! Like I said before if it was me, I would no longer be friends with this guy.
xxoo Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I personally wouldn't be friends with someone who dated my ex, let alone marry one! If they ended up happily married, I'd conclude it was "meant to be" and wish them the best. 1
Els Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 If people are dating within their already established social circles or in a small place, there is bound to be some overlap. I'd be fine with it. They are exes for a reason.
white_bass87 Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 I see some of you points on the fact that if you had been broken up for quite some time, its probably legit and open game. Honestly, I'd want a good friend's blessing first, because I think its the wrong thing to do. Unfortunately, sh*t happens on the other end were a supposed good friend will see your gf behind your back while you not broken up. Had it happen to me recently, funny thing is, he cheated on his ex before (as she is unaware), and I have no reason to let her in on this, as she is my cheating ex, so maybe they are meant for each other. Time will tell. 1
Rubypumped Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Love the statute of limitations remark!!! Its soooo true! There really is zero tolerance of ownership once the break has transpired. The level of motive and level of friendship may well play a part in how i think or feel about the news. Some friends i'd say.... Have at it! Other ones ... Id be hesistant in gathering particularly if i knew they were using one another.... If they genuinely blend then good-o for 'em!!! I actually really hate the ownership remark. It's not about "ownership" at all. That makes it sound like you're impatiently waiting for your friend to get over it. It's about being sensitive and respectful to your friend's heartbreak.
Recommended Posts