crisp Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Were there things that you wish you could have done diferently? That were different? I had a few highschool flames and I still am thinkig about some of them... I wish I had been more naughty...
alphamale Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 there was this girl Stacy whom i used to work with 15 yrs ago when I was 25 yrs old. she was gorgeous and smart and funny and was so into me i could not believe it. she was living with some loser guy in a trailer home at the time. all I had to do was give her the word and she would have left him for me in an instant. I did not give her the word cause we worked togeter and I did not like the fact she would dump her b/f for me. Unfortuantely i was young and naive at the time. I look back at it and I was totally in love with her but did not know it at the time and I never acted on it. I ran into her last labor day wknd by chance at an art fair. had not seen her since 1991. she was married with two boys and still so beautiful. all i could think of was "those could have been my kids".
kanga Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 wow. that's some story, alpha. i don't know that this would've amounted to much in the end since i was only in high school, but there was a guy whom i really, really liked. and he liked me too, but i was too slow to realize that, and when i did, he had already moved on to liking someone else. for the longest time i thought that after we went to college, grew up a bit, and then had a chance to reconnect, that the magic moment would happen. i found out two years ago that he was getting married. i saw him in november at another friend's wedding with his wife. and even after a few years without talking to each other, it was like we instantly reconnected. of course, he's now married and he's got a great wife. i wish i would've at least had a chance to have a high school relationship with him. but such is life.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 An Austrian girl I worked with 10 years ago. Clever, kind, funny, tall and beautiful. Same story as Alphamale - she was sooo into me and ready to leave bf for me. I didn't feel comfortable with this. I've never met anyone quite like her - before or since. I've never forgotten her. I went through a period of dreaming about her (nothing sordid) about a year ago.
Stylin22 Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Oh man what a question...It was actually last year. I had just gotten out of an engagement of 4 months and was so not ready to do the dating stuff. I had gone to a bar and watched my Patriots beat up on the Colts. Then, cause we were so drunk, we decided to stay for the 2nd playoff game. And she walked in...wearing her McNabb shirt and everything. She was totally cute and was giving me the looks....She somehow ended up talking to me as we were switching tables and it was great. We actually started making bets on the football game and cause we were so drunk, we actually wrote out a contract on the napkin. Signed our names and phone numbers. We went out the next night and started having great conversations...But then some kind of mental games started a few weeks later and I really got a look at how immature she was. It fizzled out cause I had decided not to partake in any games after my unstable fiance had decided to completely lose her head. She eventually graduated and moved to Oregon for a coaching job. But, it was only 3 months, but I think about her every day. I have no clue why. Except for the maturity, she was the absolute closest thing to everything I've ever wanted in a woman. I look at it like wrong time. I wish every day that I could get a 2nd crack at that one...god she was beautiful....
Podna Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 I knew this girl that I used to work with. When I first noticed her around where I worked I thought she was incredibly beautiful. I didn’t talk to her for months because I was shy, but I watched her out of the corner of my eye all the same. Sure enough she got transferred to my shift (nights) and I was able to be closer to her. Over time we came to discover the number of things we had in common. It was crazy. We had the same taste in music and food. We enjoyed doing the same things for fun, and had many of the same philosophies about life and love. She was perfect for me in every way. To top it all off, we found out that we grew up not 20 miles apart in a remote part of Oklahoma and had a few childhood friends in common. Words cannot express how madly in love with her I was! But like alphamale and ReluctantRomeo she was also living with someone else. She was living with the brother on my boss at the time. She and I started going out for breakfast together every morning when we got off work. I was mad for her, but for some reason, never could tell her that I wanted to be with her. She always acted as thought she was just waiting for me to ask her to leave the man she was with. She would compare the man she was with to me and tell me how much better I was, but I never could take the next step. I had some kind of hang-up about her already being with someone. Eventually she moved back to the day shift and I didn’t see her as much. I sort of stopped calling her because I believed in the old saying “set her free and if she comes back to you then it was meant to be”. How stupid and naïve I was! Before long she got married to the guy and had kids. Just like alphamale I see her childern and feel sorrow for the life that could have been but wasn't. How I handled my relationship with her is one of the biggest regrets I have in my life, and one of the few things that I would pay dearly to do over. I have never felt that way about any woman before or since. I still think about her all the time, especially when I am feeling down about my life.
JoL Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 It wasn't a relationship, or even close to one...but i have thought about him quite recently. Just over a year ago I went out with one of my friends to a club, i had recently broken up with my bf of 2 years and needed to get out. About 10 minutes after getting to the club we spotted these two guys and they had spotted us too. There was a blonde guy and a brunette guy..the blond guy was really good looking and his friend wasnt bad either. I wasnt out to pick up or anything, but my friend instantly locked eyes on the blond guy and raved on about how hot he was. About an hour of dancing and stuff later, my friend went to the bathroom and i was at the bar getting a drink of water..and the 2 guys were there! The blond guy and i said hi and started to chat. Then my friend came back and we had a bit of a dance with them. She eventually grabbed the blond guy and took him outside for a "chat". I was left alone with his very anti-social friend! They came back about 20 minutes later and my friend had decided she didnt like the blond guy anymore..that he was religious and too "nice"..since when is that a turnoff?? When they came back inside, i started talking to the blond guy and we hit it off big time. We were chatting and he told me "you know, i had my eye on you when you spotted us..and my friend had his eye on your friend" and i laughed at the irony of the situation. We turned around to see the brunette guy and my friend making out! So they seemed to have hit it off too!! We danced and chatted and had a really good night. Then the club closed, and we decided to take a drive for some food. After getting some food the brunette guy suggested we hang out at his place for a while if we wanted to. I was weary but my friend was very keen..so i eventually said ok. We went to his place and my friend and him were cuddling on the bed, while i sat with the blond guy and we just talked. he seemed really nervous and just plain jittery. he told me that since i had just broken up with someone he didnt want to put the moves on me and i said thats fine, i respect that. he was really friendly in the club, dancing with me and flirting..but now he seemed really scared and like a 12 year old kid! he suddently got up and just said ok, im going bye everyone..and left! Just left! It was weird...my friend and the brunette guy dated for a while and she gave me the blond guys number that she got off the other guy..telling me he was really shy and nervous but he likes me a lot. right..the number turned out to be 1 digit short..so i never got his real number. But i figure if he had been keen he would have asked her for my number or soemthing..right!? There was one time they asked us to go to a club with them, but i had just finished work and was really tired..so i didnt go. that very same week i started dating my now-ex-abusive-boyfriend. Basically nothing ever even happened with this guy..he probably didnt even like me, but i have had a few dreams about him recently. i wonder what would have happeend had i dated him and not my bastard-ex. Makes you wonder..
Nubemeister Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Probably the one I had gone back a second time. The weird thing is that with all his other gf he lasted atleast a year with me it's either close or something like that. Mostly my fault because...he well didn't feel anything for me and I wasn't good enough But eh...
clynn Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Unfortuantely i was young and naive at the time. I look back at it and I was totally in love with her but did not know it at the time and I never acted on it. I ran into her last labor day wknd by chance at an art fair. had not seen her since 1991. she was married with two boys and still so beautiful. all i could think of was "those could have been my kids". So great how we manage to crete these memories in our heads that we're convinced COULD HAVE been the perfect one if only we had acted. I guess all your COULD haves and should haves are behind you now. Whose to say she would have left her bf? Really?
clynn Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 UOTE]Originally posted by Stylin22 It fizzled out cause I had decided not to partake in any games after my unstable fiance had decided to completely lose her head. . But, it was only 3 months, but I think about her every day. I have no clue why. Except for the maturity, she was the absolute closest thing to everything I've ever wanted in a woman. I look at it like wrong time. I wish every day that I could get a 2nd crack at that one...god she was beautiful.... Funny, so men really do break up with women they like and regret it later. And I wonder if you would regret it if you still had a chance with her? Or would you not want to actually go for it if you had a chance with her?
Fritz Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 It wasn't a relationship but a chance at one back in college a few years ago. Gorgeous girl that I worked with on a couple of class projects and I still regret not making a move. It may have never gotten anywhere but I don't know where my head was.
johnnyapples Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 My most recent breakup with this girl. Up until now, all my relationships had their own merits, but nothing was ever so easy as this relationship. It was both surreal and fun... every little nuance of hers was exactly what I wanted in the perfect girl of my dreams -- and vice versa (or so I thought). One day, she told me that she had doubts and gave me the cliche "love you, but not in love with you" line that hurt. Argued and then broke up over the phone days later. As much as it hurt, losing her as a friend was the bigger hurt -- we could talk for hours about everything and anything. We were so comfortable and at ease with each other, it was like we fell into a routine without even knowing it. But alas -- I am moving on after she broke up with me -- but I know what will always haunt me is how we broke up and how I will always feel that we didn't get a chance to take it further before the breakup. Because in 3 weeks being with her, she knew me better than my ex's who'd been with me for nearly 3 years. How sad .... Knowing myself, this one will definitely be in my heart and my mind forever. ========================
Devildog Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 Since the first day of High School I was just infatuated with this girl. Just gorgeous. And so way out of my league I told myself. Two years spent basically admiring her from afar. Junior year rolls around. She sits right behind me in a class. And I can't remember what started it, but we started talking and flirting. Still thinking, way out of my league. Our entire Junior year of H.S. was spent saving each other seats, talking, flirting. And some of it was obvious stuff. She needed help with a homework assignment or a test, she asked me for help. I would ask "what's in it for me?" Her response was "anything you want." "Anything?" in my most sinister and lustful voice. "anything" would be her reply. Like a dumb@$$ I am still thinking way out of my league, she is messing with me. Her coming into class, sitting backwards in her desk to talk to me, in such a way that her chest was mere inches from my face. People in class making comments about us dating, she never denied or corrected. Summer came, followed by Senior year, where she totally ignored and snubbed me. When I confronted her about the silent treatment, she replied, on the verge of tears, "you didn't call or come visit me the whole summer." And then walked away as I stood there with my jaw resting on the floor. Out of my league? No, just too blinded by a lack of self-esteem to see that my goddess was interested. And I blew it. But when I think about it now, if the opportunity presented itself now, I don't know if I would take it. She was the one I idealized, put on a pedestal and assigned all the best attributes of humanity to. I know she would never be able to meet my vision of her, and I don't know if I would want to destroy the Venus De Milo version of her I created.
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 Originally posted by clynn Funny, so men really do break up with women they like and regret it later. Honey, we do it all the time. Trust me - this is not just my experience, I have loads of close male friends who have shared this with me. I heard a ballpark figure that more than 50% of the time, dumpers experience what I call "dumper's regret". What I know from my guy friends confirms this. What are girls' views on this? Do you experience dumper's regret a little? A lot? And I wonder if you would regret it if you still had a chance with her? Or would you not want to actually go for it if you had a chance with her? The moment she becomes unavailable can trigger this, I suppose. But for me it is usually I wake up one morning and think "damn, RomanticJuliette number x was good. I wonder if..."
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 Hey, I've just decided to start a new thread on dumper's regret. Do you or don't you? It's an online poll, so opinions please! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56200
Stylin22 Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 I didn't break up with her, she broke up with me. Mostly, cause I took a no b.s. approach. I know I wasn't done healing from my fiancee break up (3 months before) and I think that's why I enacted it, to kind of protect myself. Also, as I'm saying how much I miss her, I'm overlooking a lot of stuff she did as well. Another chance? Yep, I'd go for it in a heart beat cause I feel like it was more timing than anything else. After you have a real serious break up, you need kind of find who you are again, and then figure out how the dating thing works from scratch...I wish I had a shot today...but who knows where life will take me...
emopunk Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 That's a question that could kill you if you dwell on it too much. "What might have been" is a dangerous thought... Actually, I don't have a "one that got away" thing... lol. All my exes were horrible... literally not worth thinking about. But I know I'm a little different in that respect.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 I don't think you ever get over your first love- I myself had a second chance with mine that didn't work out either. I still think about him every once in a while but I don't consider him to be the one who got away. Before my marriage I dated this totally gorgeous guy I will call B. He was everything that I wanted- and the sex was incredible! He was the first guy to ever bring me to orgasm through intercourse. I was so into him. He was a smoker and I hate smoking but I put up with it anyway because I was so wild about him. We clicked in every way, except the fact that he was a recovering addict. He had been straight for over a year when we met. He was still attending alot of meetings and such. At one such meeting he met a girl who was also a recovering addict and that gave them alot in common. He told me before he started seeing this girl but he also wanted to keep seeing me as well. I couldn't accept it because it hurt too bad. I told him, no, if you want to be with this person then we cannot see each other anymore. I always wonder what would have happened if I would have just stepped back and said okay- rather than trying to cling. Guess it just wasn't meant to be.
startingover1028 Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 I think all of us should go on one of those talk shows... you know, like Maury Povitch or Montel Williams, where they reunite old loves. Ya never know..... I dated this guy when I was 20. He was 29 and totally in love with me. I would have married him but he moved to Florida for a job and I wasn't willing to go there. I never heard from him again. I'd like to know how he is. Gee.... He'd be 57 now... (maybe I don't want to know!)
Pocky Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 I miss my friend Aislynn. I still dream about her. I never had closure as to why she just stopped talking to me. The last time we spoke she asked if she could come stay with me at my house because she was fighting with her boyfriend. He hated me. She called twenty minutes later saying she's not coming. I never heard from her again. She never returned my calls. This was about seven/eight years ago. It still makes me cry.
Stylin22 Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Yeah, okay so while I was hammered last night (after my PATRIOTS WON!!!!!!) I called her and talked for a bit...I'm calling her again tonight when I am sober...I'm not getting excited over it though, but I'm gonna keep you guys posted...
clynn Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Wow! Way to go Stylin 22! I can't wait to hear how it goes!!!! Keep us posted FOR SURE! JoL - that's a shame, that one. The guy was just totally nervous! You excited him and that made him nervous. He is probably totatlly totally into you. And that's why he gave his number instead of asking for yours I would guess. Too bad. Isn't there anyway of finding it out now? Or email maybe?
clynn Posted February 9, 2005 Posted February 9, 2005 Stylin 22! What Happened with the follow up phone call!?!?!??! Did you talk with her yet????????????????????
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