GirlDown Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by ion At the end of the day, it's a personal choice to answer this kind of question. well, i guess techinically it's personal unless the girlfriend decides to take him to court to get it back. if he feels this way, he can wait until then, and even then some people say "we weren't supposed to split it, it was a gift, there was no payment expected of me, she knew i wasn't paying." that actully can work sometimes. not always, but sometimes. not trying to help break the law, but you know...there are ways around everything. certainly, the law should come first and foremost, but...when does it ever, when it really comes down to it...?
ion Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Legally, it becomes a case of he said/she said. Unless there were other parties involved as witnesses. Curious, does Fuzzy at any point in the thread mention if his ex has been asking him for the money back? Originally posted by GirlDown well, i guess techinically it's personal unless the girlfriend decides to take him to court to get it back. if he feels this way, he can wait until then, and even then some people say "we weren't supposed to split it, it was a gift, there was no payment expected of me, she knew i wasn't paying." that actully can work sometimes. not always, but sometimes. not trying to help break the law, but you know...there are ways around everything. certainly, the law should come first and foremost, but...when does it ever, when it really comes down to it...?
Author fuzzy Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 Wow! Firstly I would like to say that I would have never of imagined a response like this!!! I must also say that I class myself as a rational mature adult who has been well and truly shafted by someone who is still not admitting to their actions, although it has been plainly obvious - by someone who has treated me like a piece of sh*t towards the end of the relationship and since the break-up! I always planned to pay her back but recently I have reached the conclusion that I have not been so bad in the relationship and that I did not deserve being treated so tragically! I will hold my hands up and admit that I was not a model partner but I have to ask, who is/ has been? I gave her all I could and did everything I possibly could for her, which is probably is the result in my downfall...just call me bitter I feel that a few of you have jumped to conclusions about me and said a few things that has made me sniffle! I have been thinking about the best way of dealing with this situation for some time now, every day in fact! I hate having a debt hanging over my head and especially by someone who I cared so much for. However, I also hate being treated so badly by someone who knew how I felt, but I guess **** happens! I don't want revenge, nor do I want her to wake up and decide that she was wrong and call me to take me back, far from it. I guess all I want to do is make her see that she was wrong and maybe next time she wont make any other person feel like I did/do. In fact, I think that is revenge in a certain kind of way. I no longer have all of the money I owe her, instead today after work I felt like I needed a little retail therapy and blew more than half of it on a rather spectacular designer suit and coat! Alphamale, I'm sure you will approve! I think I will pay her back, not because she has no money, nor because it matters that I did/do care for her, instead I am a man of my word and that bi*ch can hold nothing against me. However, now she'll have to wait for a little longer as the payment will be resolved in installments. Do you agree? I'm not even too sure myself now but I can tell you all that buying new clothes never felt so good! The debate continues...
Bronzepen Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 which is the lesser of two "evils' People are killed everyday by other people and that's a fact of life. Does that mean it's OK for you to kill someone because "that's life"? I guess the answer would be yes if you see no problem by taking another persons life. When you kill them and just before they die they ask you "Why did you kill me?" Would you say "That's life?" Comes down to morals and the will to actually do it or not do it (integrity). In your case you got kicked in the balls by your ex and your balls have not recovered. your ex wants you to pay up. If your ok with not living up to your promises because you got kicked in the nads and can care less that no one will trust you again when it comes to lending you money then do it, be immoral. "That's life." If you ponyup and pay what you owe and show that people can trust you and you are a man of your word then do it, have some integrity. Forget about your balls. "That's Life."
ion Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 There is ambiguity in this situation because Fuzzy's ex wanted to have two things. First, she wanted to establish this breakup as something she had been thinking about for a while, thus not appear to him or herself as a quick decision. This means she had tipped the scales towards breaking up with him before the trip by saying this to him. But it also places her in an advantageous position over Fuzzy. Is he liable for her not informing him of her premeditated action to continue on with the trip which involved great expense? In this case, she did not give him any ability to make a decision on going or not going and being financially liable for the cost. Perhaps he would not have decided to go and some of the money could have been recovered. I still would like to hear from Fuzzy, how much has she asked you for the money?
VirginiaBob Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 "And who are you to say that I don't have first hand experience?" Actually I didn't come up with this information on my own, you put it out there, and I quote you: "I of course stay away from lending people like this any money because they had no intentions of paying me back in the first place. I don't see myself being in a situation like you described any time soon, but when I borrow anything from anybody, I return it. "
alphamale Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by fuzzy I no longer have all of the money I owe her, instead today after work I felt like I needed a little retail therapy and blew more than half of it on a rather spectacular designer suit and coat! Alphamale, I'm sure you will approve! FUZZZY, great man. You shoulda bought a nice pair of italian shoes to go with the suit too!
Moose Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Actually I didn't come up with this information on my own, you put it out there, and I quote you: You do know the difference between present and past tense, don't you, after all: I got a masters degree at Clemson. Small world. What you quoted me as saying was referring to the present tense. It says nothing about my past experiences.
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