Kat Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale In an ideal and perfect world you would be correct URBANRUBBLE01. Unfortuanately the real world that I and everyone else live in is not ideal and imperfect. A real man does not reward people after they have screwed him over. So your answer is stoop to their level and be imperfect in an imperfect world?
dyermaker Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 When you owe someone money, you pay the money back. It's got nothing to do with respect or rewards, and everything to do with integrity. However, alphamale's point is a good one--Women suck, and we should all go gay.
greenhorn Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 IMHO when ever there is a break up then both persons become stranger so there is no need to keep something of a stranger so better pay back, even you had not promised then that you are going to pay back the simple point is why to take gifts from someone who was so cruel and now nothing more than a stranger. I would have simply paid for one more reason that i dont want my ex to crib before someone that i owed her so muc of money or she spent so much money on me. my 2 cents .....
VirginiaBob Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 "VB, you're gonna be waiting for a LONG LONG LONG LONG time man. Consider it a sunk cost. But you already knew that." I know, I already chalked it up as a loss and thanks to my tax return coming soon and not having to spend any money on her for the last couple of months, I'm much richer now than before I met her. I guess you can say that I can take the hit. Her on the other hand, they are foreclosing on her house, haha!!
moimeme Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 A real man does not reward people after they have screwed him over. A real man behaves with dignity and integrity, even when he deals with scum. The measure of a man's worth is in how he behaves in bad circumstances. As a wise friend likes to say, don't fight with pigs. You both get dirty but the pig enjoys it. But if you aspire to pettiness and vindictiveness, go ahead. Just don't expect to earn the respect of decent people.
beejsea2 Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 When my ex left me HE left me with a bill that he knew was his...in fact in the letter he left he promised to take care of it...well three months have passed since he left and I haven't received one dime!! I paid off the bill and have moved on but it makes me really question the kind of person he is. I know if the shoe was on the other foot I'd take care of any bills that were mine..but that's just me.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme But if you aspire to pettiness and vindictiveness, go ahead. Just don't expect to earn the respect of decent people. one's own self-respect should always come before earning the respect of others. No one will give you respect unless you respect yourself first. Self respect entails looking out for yourself first and foremost and even being selfish when need be. I don't see how sending this bytch a check after what she did will boost his self-respect. Sorry.
tokyo Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 I respect myself enough not to owe anybody anything. Not paying is just some kind of revenge from the stingy and petty-minded, no wonder you got dumped. Not paying simply lacks class and don´t be surprised why you don´t attract people with class.
VirginiaBob Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 "one's own self-respect should always come before earning the respect of others. No one will give you respect unless you respect yourself first. Self respect entails looking out for yourself first and foremost and even being selfish when need be. I don't see how sending this bytch a check after what she did will boost his self-respect. Sorry." I agree. And also, if you didn't have a piece of paper that said you owe them, you simply have no legal reason to pay. It was a gift, get over it. Seriously, what are these posters gonna start doing next - add up every hour you spent with someone and affix a dollar amount per hour to your time to find out the true cost of who owes who. Oh wait, that was already done in this thread.
jellybean Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme But if you aspire to pettiness and vindictiveness, go ahead. Just don't expect to earn the respect of decent people. What about that other thread you started? isn't that about aspiring to be petty and vindictive http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=56016
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by jellybean What about that other thread you started? isn't that about aspiring to be petty and vindictive http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=56016
Kate Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 wow ok well that SUCKS, and part of me REALLY agrees with alphamale, don't pay the dumb b!tch a dime...BUTTTTT... you have to decide how important your pride is, AND, what kind of pride you want to maintain. yes, it was horrible what she did. but you don't want to give her ANY validation in that. if anything, you should feel so sick that you don't want anything of hers -- including $$, even though it's practically invisible at this point. you could consider paying her back as paying to get her out of your mind. listen, i recently took my ex (who LIED, CHEATED UGHGHGHGGHGH the WORST) on a vacation to the VMA awards where he got to go to great parties and meet fun celebs. i could have taken my SISTER! well, i paid and he was going to pay me back (i know this story is reversed, but listen). i found out less than a week later what he had been up to for almost a year of my life. i texted that bastard saying, "give me my $ tomorrow or i'll send my father to get it". maybe not the most mature, but who cared then. well, a check was in my box the next day -- and part of me was hoping he wouldn't pay so that he could look even MORE like a jerk. but, my point here is, even though he was such a piece of crap, him paying me made him look less horrible (ALMOST>>). if you care about have a prideful image toward your slimy ex, just pay her and consider it letting go of her completely. i know you want to "get her back" but trust me, there are other ways. also, this may be a personal opinion, but you are a MAN -- don't hold on to anyone's $$, especially a woman. i don't think a man is wrong for not having $ all the time, but if you make a financial agreement don't let it become emotional. go paint her car with a roller and paint like i did to my ex! haha people here on LS said how immature it was, but i don't regret it at all. plus, it's now a very funny story to tell and oddly enough i know he respected me for sticking up for myself, despite the low manner i did it in at the moment!! go get some paint!
Merin Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 << Has an EX who owes me money. << Thinks he's a sh*thead for not paying me back. His "excuse" "Well gosh Merin, I thought it was okay that I lied to you, AND cheated on you because ya know, you loved me like crazy.. I seriously didn't think you would end the relationship, so I guess I just didn't look at it as you lending me the money even though yeah you did say it was a loan, and yeah I did say I would pay you back.. uh sorry about being a single Mom and all.. but yeah.. I just thought you would still marry me and so it would've been like OUR money.. still love me right?" Ack! The only thing that made me feel any better at all.. was telling his dumba** to keep the freaking money that obviously he felt he needed it far more than my little people do. Pay back people you owe.. because in the end, you're going to pay for things "one way or another" My 2 cents
VirginiaBob Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 My ex didn't even pay her credit card bills, utility bills, or her mortgage. Why would I think she'd pay me back?
Sukotto Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 I'm in the paying back group just for the purpose of integrity. I dont care if people say they deserve not to get the money back etc, if you agreed to pay back the money then it should be done regardless if the relationship eneded through cheating or just because it died. My ex owed me at least $1000 from the gym membership and phone bills that I paid for her. She agreed to pay them back and I told her not to bother basically because I couldn't be bothered with the hastle of chasing her for it. I've just told my accountant to put it under personal expenses so at least I dont have to pay tax on it.
Moose Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 I'm in the paying back group just for the purpose of integrity. Ditto
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by Moose Ditto well MOOSE it is easy to say that now but you may think differently if you were actually in the situation for real. we all preach our idealistic la-de-da high moral standards but many times when push comes to shove and we're actually in a compromising situation our behavior tends to become more irrational and less moral.
Moose Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale well MOOSE it is easy to say that now but you may think differently if you were actually in the situation for real. we all preach our idealistic la-de-da high moral standards but many times when push comes to shove and we're actually in a compromising situation our behavior tends to become more irrational and less moral. Some people just don't care what others think about themselves either. I of course stay away from lending people like this any money because they had no intentions of paying me back in the first place. I don't see myself being in a situation like you described any time soon, but when I borrow anything from anybody, I return it. Often times I'll return it in better shape, more fuel in it then when I got it, offer to pay interest on monies if I borrow any, things of that nature. If you take something with no intentions of paying it back, it's the same as being a thief. Plain and simple. There is no honor among theives alphamale.
VirginiaBob Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 "If you take something with no intentions of paying it back, it's the same as being a thief. Plain and simple. There is no honor among theives alphamale." Oh, so self-righteous. Give us a break.
blind_otter Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Aw, just pay her the frikkin money. Says the beyotch who is filing for BANKRUPTCY because her exhusband left her with tens of thousands of dollars credit card debt.
Moose Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Oh, so self-righteous. Give us a break. It works both ways, how would you feel if you were the ones getting stiffed?
VirginiaBob Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 "It works both ways, how would you feel if you were the ones getting stiffed?" Dude, look back in this thread, I was the one getting stiffed. I have first hand experience, rather than just talk.
ion Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 At the end of the day, it's a personal choice to answer this kind of question. Does it make it better for you to have not paid her back? Is that worth it to you personally and morally, after what she did to you? It may be and that is a decision you make. What I find interesting is that really you are asking for validation in your actions from others. Personally, it's not my style to leave something undone when the relationship is over such as exchanging personal objects, keys, and any monetary amounts. Also, if I make a decision or a commitment, I will try and honor it if possible. Then, the question becomes should you honor your commitment when the other person does not? Good luck with finding the answer to that one!
GirlDown Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme As a wise friend likes to say, don't fight with pigs. You both get dirty but the pig enjoys it. \ I LOVE IT!!!!!
Moose Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Dude, look back in this thread, I was the one getting stiffed. I have first hand experience, rather than just talk. Duuuude, I don't care! And who are you to say that I don't have first hand experience? What ever your situation was or is, wouldn't you think differently if the person who owes you money paid you back? Hey, it doesn't matter to me if you or anyone else thinks integrity is being self-righteous or if you even care what people think about you.....as for me and my opinion, I stand by what I posted.
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