SimpleSilly Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 So about a year ago I met this amazing girl through my best friend, she had recently broken up with her bf because he had cheated on her so many times. I really liked her and she liked me back but it was an unspoken thing for a few months. Then started hanging out and about 6 month later decided to make it official. I'm the happiest guy while I'm with her and she is also very happy, at this point I'm starting to think she can be the one. However she got a word of some things that had happened before we met, about some girl I used to hook up with and she obviously didn't like it. But this other girl is the same club I'm in so there's nothing I can do to avoid her. One night after work I go to my friend's house to have a few drinks and this girl and I end up making out. I was feeling terrible, I didn't know what to tell my girlfriend. This caused me to grow distant from her and at the same time I kept communication to a minimun with the other girl. 2 weeks went by and I decided to ask for a break and my GF told me she doesn't believe in breaks so we ended the relationship. about 2 months went by and we were good friends, on my birthday I get this long message telling me how much of an a**hole I am and she never wants to talk to me ever again. So I call her up on the phone and she agrees to meet up with me over dinner. We are just hanging out and laughing like the good ol' days and towards the end I bring up the subject. I tell her how terribly sorry I feel and it was something that was never supposed to happen. I ask, not for a second chance, but for time to show her how I can change. She shot me down but said that she forgives me and she has moved on. About a week has passed by and I still see her at school and we make small talk since we have the same group of friends. I was texting her last night and she responded to my text messages and we can hold a conversation without fighting. However, she says she doesn't want to put herself through that again and she is not willing to give me time. I'm trying my hardest to cut communication off and let time do its thing and try asking her to hang out in a few weeks. What is your thought on this?
Me. Myself and I Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Hmmmm you say you thought this girl could be the one? Yet you still "make out" with an old "hook up" if you had any reason to believe she was the "one" I don't think you would have put yourself in that situation. I think you're possibly confused. While you say you feel awful about making out with the other girl. It still happened. If it were me, it would confirm my feelings weren't strong enough for the "one". She left her last BF because he cheated on her and hurt her. How do you think she will feel when you've basically done the same? Maybe you should think about what it is you really want. Especially before attempting to reconcile with this girl :/ Just my thoughts on things.
Author SimpleSilly Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 Yea you are right, by no means am I excusing my behavior. Before we went in the relationship I was used to just hooking up with people and there was no consequences. This is only my second serious relationship and I truly felt happy when I was around this girl. Sadly I thought I could get away without the consequences. I know better now and I guess all I'm asking is whether I'm asking for something unreasonable, such as time?
Me. Myself and I Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I guess that depends on the both of you... It depends on whether or not you feel strongly enough after having time apart and if you truly believe in the relationship? Also, whether or not she is willing to give things another go? Sometimes, people believe in second chances and learn from their mistakes. Sometimes not. For me, I'd have to be honest. Tell the truth, and see what happened. But then I've never put myself in that situation. If I was her, and I knew what happened, I'd have trust issues. That is by no ways a means of building a solid foundation for a relationship. But again that's just me.
Author SimpleSilly Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 I've thought things through and it wasn't until I actually put myself in her shoes that I truly saw things for what they were and not what I made them out to be. At the moment I'm trying my best at limiting communication because I said what I had to say to her. both she and I know that trust won't be the same but I can wait and be patient, as much as it hurts to not be with her. Again, I don't see how asking my age really helps...but if this helps, I'm a person that keeps his feelings to himself a lot and it takes time to really open up to people. If something goes wrong I tend to block those feelings and pretend everything is fine, also I'm used to getting away with things but I guess I'm learning the hard way now
Me. Myself and I Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect...
Author SimpleSilly Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 Yea and I feel so powerless when she puts up her walls and doesn't allow me to show and not just tell. But I see why. I just want to know if you guys think there a remote chance that things could work out?
KaliLove Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 She started dating you after coming out of a bad relationship where her ex cheated on her multiple times..and you go and cheat on her. I say leave the poor girl alone..she's just learned a very hard lesson. Twice. 2
Author SimpleSilly Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Thanks for the advice. I'm gonna have to suck it up and move on. Last night however, we went out to a bar and were able to hold a normal conversation without me having to bring everything up and pour my heart out. Guess it really is just a matter of time
KaliLove Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 Aaaand you're going to ignore everything everyone says anyway. Oh well. Enjoy.
flight E Posted March 28, 2014 Posted March 28, 2014 U can get her back. Just take it slow don't push it and don't become sissy to her. It can work out. My opinion is based on the fact that the real time its almost 99percent certain you won't get them back is when they lose attraction and break up and you act pathetic by begging, over texting, debasing you self and losing your dignity and their respect.
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