4everalones Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Today is a particularly hard day. I woke up with this uncontrollable desire to know what my ex has been up to. I want to stalk him online so bad. Although I have him blocked on social media, a quick google search can reveal all his websites as they're all public. He's very active online, so I can find out where he was and what he was doing for the past few weeks. I am fighting this feeling but I feel weak, I feel like I'm giving up. I don't know what I will accomplish by looking at his new pictures and new life. Perhaps a sense of satisfaction? Perhaps some sort of connection? The fact that I know he's not dating anyone else "yet" is driving me even more to stalk him. All I could think of is "I'm not going to see something that will upset me"!! I hate this, I have this feeling. I am so sick of this, I'd rather just die!!!
martaldn Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I do the same, but I have blocked him on Facebook because I know ( even if I am not friend with him ) I would go to his page and try to find something new about him... unfortunately he is very active on twitter and he has a public profile so every now and then I go there and check what he is doing. I know It is wrong but I also know with the time I will be less and less interested in what he is doing and I will stop to stalk him online eventually, but at moment I cant help myself .. we are all human after all
Author 4everalones Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 I also know with the time I will be less and less interested in what he is doing and I will stop to stalk him online eventually, but at moment I cant help myself .. we are all human after all I really hope it gets less interesting and appealing. It's been 3 months post-breakup and I am still tempted to check what he's doing every day. Today is just so hard. Temptation is at its highest. I tried going out and distracting myself, and I just started crying in public. Now I'm back in my room wondering what the f is wrong with me!!
d0nnivain Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 Dying isn't the answer. I really hope that was a figure of speech. If it was not, please call a suicide prevention hotline right now. Posting here is good. Don't look for him because you are right . . . looking at the new stuff in his life will just make you more sad. I'd make a list of all the reasons you are better off without him. If you don't feel better after writing such a list, make another list of all the things you dislike about him. Re-read them until the urge to look for him on line passes. 1
martaldn Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I really hope it gets less interesting and appealing. It's been 3 months post-breakup and I am still tempted to check what he's doing every day. Today is just so hard. Temptation is at its highest. I tried going out and distracting myself, and I just started crying in public. Now I'm back in my room wondering what the f is wrong with me!! im sure it will get better with the time.. the online stalking is slowing down the healing process though so you should not doing it if knowing what he does still hits you so badly.. i know its hard to resist!!! I find NC beneficial though.. its over 2 weeks Im not speaking to him and I feel better ( baby steps ).. I still feel pain when i think about him and still feel a lot of anger, but this is the healing process and I knew there would be dark times from time to tome but there is not other way for me if i want to be happy again 1
Me. Myself and I Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I know how you're feeling. It's been 5 months for me. He contacted me after month 4 to stay "friends" I couldn't do it and fell apart again I asked for another chance and he was quite brutal with me. Lesson learned. I too started checking his online profiles (FB/TWITTER) I'm not friends with him there. But I would scan every inch looking for something. He's not dating either, I thought that was a sign. In the end I had to deactivate my accounts. I needed to protect myself, I was purposely trying to find something to taunt me. As hard as it is, stay away from it. What happens if you find something that really sets you back? Or you come across something that sends that awful pit feeling in your stomach? Is that worth it? Believe me when I say I know how you're feeling. I'm going through it too. Yesterday was one of the worse days I had in a long time. Stay strong.
Author 4everalones Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 Dying isn't the answer. I really hope that was a figure of speech. If it was not, please call a suicide prevention hotline right now. I honestly had suicidal thoughts a few times, but I always manage to drive them away by posting here, talking to my friends (who got sick of hearing about it), or writing in my journal. I'd make a list of all the reasons you are better off without him. If you don't feel better after writing such a list, make another list of all the things you dislike about him. Re-read them until the urge to look for him on line passes. I have made all sorts of lists and removed all physical reminders. Nothing's helping me so far. Some days are better than the others, but today is just an awful day. I just don't understand this drive to "stalk". I won't talk to him directly, It won't make me miss him less. Why is such an obsession there? how to get rid of it?!! Ugh!!!!
Author 4everalones Posted March 27, 2014 Author Posted March 27, 2014 I know how you're feeling. It's been 5 months for me. He contacted me after month 4 to stay "friends" I couldn't do it and fell apart again I asked for another chance and he was quite brutal with me. Lesson learned. I too started checking his online profiles (FB/TWITTER) I'm not friends with him there. But I would scan every inch looking for something. He's not dating either, I thought that was a sign. In the end I had to deactivate my accounts. I needed to protect myself, I was purposely trying to find something to taunt me. As hard as it is, stay away from it. What happens if you find something that really sets you back? Or you come across something that sends that awful pit feeling in your stomach? Is that worth it? Believe me when I say I know how you're feeling. I'm going through it too. Yesterday was one of the worse days I had in a long time. Stay strong. I am so sorry for your pain. At least we're not alone in this. It's so brave of you to desactive your accounts. I can't do that unfortunately as I am abroad and it's the only way I can keep in touch with friends. Even if I removed all social media account, I still find myself typing his name in google search. I just want to be indifferent. I was to stop this obsession. It's unhealthy and it's ruining my life!
Me. Myself and I Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I am so sorry for your pain. At least we're not alone in this. It's so brave of you to desactive your accounts. I can't do that unfortunately as I am abroad and it's the only way I can keep in touch with friends. Even if I removed all social media account, I still find myself typing his name in google search. I just want to be indifferent. I was to stop this obsession. It's unhealthy and it's ruining my life! You will get there! You will have bad days, but you will have good days too... It's hard, it really is. Today I feel stronger. Yesterday I was a complete mess. I wrote a letter, I wanted to send it too him. I didn't. I was in tears, torn to pieces. On the floor with my head in my hands. I'll get those days again. But it's normal in grieving. I'm far from accepting it's over. But I'll get there. I was fighting continuously for him. But there comes a point when you realises you're fighting a one sided battle. I was fighting for someone who didn't want me anymore. All I was doing was pushing him away. It's 8 days NC for me. I've heard nothing from him at all, it's only confirming that he really doesn't want to be with me. I've been waiting and waiting for that phone call or text. My heart still jumps if my phone goes off. Relationships are crazy, one day you feel so connected, the next the person doesn't even want to touch you. If somebody breaks up with you, and sticks with it long enough to override all those probably-still-remaining feelings of attraction towards you, they really believe that it’s the right decision for themselves. And even if you disagree, you need to let them figure that out on their own. Do I hope he will call? Yes. But right now it's time to focus on "us". 1
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