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It's sad that girls are judged by how many male friends they have or have not

Noproblem

By Noproblem
in General Relationship Discussion

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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I noticed while being at this forum and also on other websites. The huge negativity toward girls who had male friends ( some one was complaining his gf had more male friends and all the comments suggested he leave her!)

They either call them sl$ts or attention seekers or drama queen.

 

We are in the 21st century and this still going on.

 

Let me say that your girlfriend will lie, cheat, fight, and leave you whether she had zero male friends or 20 male friends. Simply because she doesn't love you enough or you deserve it.

 

 

Girls who had more male friends might only had them because they feel happier around guys or they get along better.

 

I am appalled by the way people talk about girls who had more male friends. It's sad and upsetting.

 

Girls should be judged according to their own individual behaviors not whether their friends are females or males

 

If a girl is good for you, she will be good no matter what!

Edited by Noproblem
David87 Established Member

David87

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As long as your male friends understand that and want nothing more form it's ok. But usually males get the wrong idea that someday they will score.

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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As long as your male friends understand that and want nothing more form it's ok. But usually males get the wrong idea that someday they will score.

 

I know what you mean, but each condition is different. Generalizing is annoying, it's like saying never trust a divorced man, etc....

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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And with today open society. Isn't possible that your girl friend will make out with her female friend if she was drunk enough!

 

Then what! We ban friendship altogether!

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Goldenbrwn Member

Goldenbrwn

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I would not just write the girl off for having a ton of male friends but it is a red flag to keep an eye on to see why that is. Could be that she needs a lot of attention from men or maybe she just uses each guy for something different while knowing these men like her and she is pretending not to notice.

 

Those things wouldn't automatically make her a bad person or a bad date but it would just tell me to not get too serious with this woman and that she isn't in the wife or serious girlfriend category.

pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

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I've only seen it on here. Never experienced the same attitude in real life. Either they've hidden it really well, or I've just been lucky.

 

I had no idea it was such a big problem.

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David87 Established Member

David87

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I know what you mean, but each condition is different. Generalizing is annoying, it's like saying never trust a divorced man, etc....

 

I'm not generalizing...do you know for a fact that none of your male friends thought about sleeping with you?

 

I'm only speaking from my experiences. I never had a female friend because at some point she starts to hit on me or vice versa.

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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I'm not generalizing...do you know for a fact that none of your male friends thought about sleeping with you?

 

I'm only speaking from my experiences. I never had a female friend because at some point she starts to hit on me or vice versa.

 

Yeah, well I never try to think this way. I mean I'm not a guy, so I never think like this:who will think of sleeping with me..but some confessed their love in the past so I ended the friendship.

 

I'm not saying you were generalizing. I'm saying the whole comments are exaggerating in their reactions.

It make me think the world is ugly

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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I've only seen it on here. Never experienced the same attitude in real life. Either they've hidden it really well, or I've just been lucky.

 

I had no idea it was such a big problem.

 

Exactly! I mean I never see such reactions in real life! They all seem to get along fine girls and girls ...... But I did some of the girls that I know commenting saying why many guys come to your table ( me and my friend)

 

 

The comments are turning my not so beautiful purple world to an ugly black one.

 

 

It seems that people are not so evolved as I thought and me coming from a 3rd world country to the United States. I see people as old fashioned as my own retarded culture!

 

Seriously! Stop calling us ignorant then, you are not so different after all

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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I disagree with this.

 

I have female friends who are still highly regarded despite being friends with me and some other male friends.

 

I noticed while being at this forum and also on other websites. The huge negativity toward girls who had male friends ( some one was complaining his gf had more male friends and all the comments suggested he leave her!)

They either call them sl$ts or attention seekers or drama queen.

 

We are in the 21st century and this still going on.

 

Let me say that your girlfriend will lie, cheat, fight, and leave you whether she had zero male friends or 20 male friends. Simply because she doesn't love you enough or you deserve it.

 

 

Girls who had more male friends might only had them because they feel happier around guys or they get along better.

 

I am appalled by the way people talk about girls who had more male friends. It's sad and upsetting.

 

Girls should be judged according to their own individual behaviors not whether their friends are females or males

 

If a girl is good for you, she will be good no matter what!

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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Girls and boys I mean in my college. Wrote girls and girls by mistake!

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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I disagree with this.

 

I have female friends who are still highly regarded despite being friends with me and some other male friends.

 

Not according to the comments in most of the relationships sites and forums

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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I've noticed that trend here as well, and have got to say that it has NEVER been a problem in real life. I've never yet met a person who had any sort of problem with my friendships.

 

I have more male friends than female friends simply because my hobbies and interests typically are enjoyed moreso by men than women.

 

 

Doesn't mean I dislike women. Doesn't mean I am catty, slutty, or incapable of being friends with women.

 

 

I work in a male dominated field and have male dominated hobbies. I'm not gonna stop accepting any more friendships from men who I have shared interests with just because it's gonna tip the scales away from female friends more. "Oh no, can't have any more male friends today, better get 1 or 2 more female friends before I accept anymore male friends."

 

 

No.

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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I've noticed that trend here as well, and have got to say that it has NEVER been a problem in real life. I've never yet met a person who had any sort of problem with my friendships.

 

I have more male friends than female friends simply because my hobbies and interests typically are enjoyed moreso by men than women.

 

 

Doesn't mean I dislike women. Doesn't mean I am catty, slutty, or incapable of being friends with women.

 

 

I work in a male dominated field and have male dominated hobbies. I'm not gonna stop accepting any more friendships from men who I have shared interests with just because it's gonna tip the scales away from female friends more. "Oh no, can't have any more male friends today, better get 1 or 2 more female friends before I accept anymore male friends."

 

 

No.

 

Right!

 

I mean, like I don't have problems with girls, if she's nice and friendly. Then she's one of my friends. But a real friend will take more than that.

 

It doesn't matter if that friend was a guy or a girl.

 

 

If my female friends don't like anime and some guys do; then what!

Really we should differentiate between friendship and the social circles.

 

I'm sure, if there is something wrong with your friendship with any male friend it will show to others.....

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Lol.

 

Some men can hide it well, but if you could ever spend a day as a guy amongst your guy friends, youd learn the vast majority of them have the desire to sleep with your female self if they were given the chance.

 

Thats just how many people work (usually men). Sexual attraction plays a large role in male-female friendships. And we have all heard numerous stories of friends hooking up. Too many women are naive or pretend to not notice their orbiter male friends wanna bang.

 

Its no surprise some of these guys go poof once they have a girlfriend, or once they realize they have no chance at ever being with you.

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Goldenbrwn Member

Goldenbrwn

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I've noticed that trend here as well, and have got to say that it has NEVER been a problem in real life. I've never yet met a person who had any sort of problem with my friendships.

 

I have more male friends than female friends simply because my hobbies and interests typically are enjoyed moreso by men than women.

 

 

Doesn't mean I dislike women. Doesn't mean I am catty, slutty, or incapable of being friends with women.

 

 

I work in a male dominated field and have male dominated hobbies. I'm not gonna stop accepting any more friendships from men who I have shared interests with just because it's gonna tip the scales away from female friends more. "Oh no, can't have any more male friends today, better get 1 or 2 more female friends before I accept anymore male friends."

 

 

No.

 

I doubt you would hear from men in real life who have an issue with it. If they know from the start they would likely not approach you or only go for sex. If they find out later and have a problem they would likely just only go for sex or just disappear. Not many men or women dating explain their reasons.

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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And the reason people can be harshly judged by how many opposite sex friends they have, is because its very common for one of these friends to be an ex or a former fling. This is especially true amongst young folks.

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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I doubt you would hear from men in real life who have an issue with it. If they know from the start they would likely not approach you or only go for sex. If they find out later and have a problem they would likely just only go for sex or just disappear. Not many men or women dating explain their reasons.

This.

 

I know people who avoid pursuing folks who have a slew of opposite sex friends. I dont deal with women who cant manage having both female and male friends. And I especially dont give women a shot if they think its ok to hang out 1 on 1 with other men while they are seeing me.

 

Im not that chump who falls for that crap.

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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Lol.

 

Some men can hide it well, but if you could ever spend a day as a guy amongst your guy friends, youd learn the vast majority of them have the desire to sleep with your female self if they were given the chance.

 

Thats just how many people work (usually men). Sexual attraction plays a large role in male-female friendships. And we have all heard numerous stories of friends hooking up. Too many women are naive or pretend to not notice their orbiter male friends wanna bang.

 

Its no surprise some of these guys go poof once they have a girlfriend, or once they realize they have no chance at ever being with you.

 

You function differently, that's all I have to say.

 

Everything to you is: is it bagable keep it

Not bangable, discard it.

 

We are not like you! When we love a male friend we love him exactly the same way his male friends love him.

 

 

Anyway this is not the case here. I said why taking bad about these girls!

 

So my male friend has a fantasy of sleeping with me ! Surprise surprise!he probably wants to sleep with half of the girls in the area! Not my fault!

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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This.

 

I know people who avoid pursuing folks who have a slew of opposite sex friends. I dont deal with women who cant manage having both female and male friends. And I especially dont give women a shot if they think its ok to hang out 1 on 1 with other men while they are seeing me.

 

Im not that chump who falls for that crap.

 

Your choice, it's like stop pursing a girl because she is not interesting enough.

It's not like that the number 1 reason for relationships to never work out.

Meaning, yeah you might feel you avoided a crappy relationship only to fall in another one with a girl who doesn't have any male friends because it's irrelevant but you guys like the idea of controlling and mine only, that's it !

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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You function differently, that's all I have to say.

 

Everything to you is: is it bagable keep it

Not bangable, discard it.

 

We are not like you! When we love a male friend we love him exactly the same way his male friends love him.

 

 

Anyway this is not the case here. I said why taking bad about these girls!

 

So my male friend has a fantasy of sleeping with me ! Surprise surprise!he probably wants to sleep with half of the girls in the area! Not my fault!

Hence he is not a real friend.

 

And I dont date women who willingly surround themselves with men who want to **** them.

 

Oh wells.

Your choice, it's like stop pursing a girl because she is not interesting enough.

It's not like that the number 1 reason for relationships to never work out.

Meaning, yeah you might feel you avoided a crappy relationship only to fall in another one with a girl who doesn't have any male friends because it's irrelevant but you guys like the idea of controlling and mine only, that's it !

Whatever you say hun.

 

Ive experienced enough of life not to be naive about these things. Ive seen tooooo many situations where friends hook up and the girl says "I dunno, it just happened". Those things dont just happen. In most male-female friendships, there is an undercurrent of sexual tension.

 

Just because you are ignorant to it, doesnt mean its not there. And this is not just on men either. Ive seen women choose male friends because they were obviously into the guy.

Edited by kaylan
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David87 Established Member

David87

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Noproblem, I have a question for you. Don't get offended because i'm just curious. Don't you find it a little strange that you have so many male friends but never had a serious relationship?

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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OP, youre a kid in college. Do you really think college boys are friends with you because they have oh so much in common with you? That may be the case with some of them, but generally those young dudes have guy friends for that. The vast majority of them want to get their johnson wet.

 

Thats the reality. And hell, women were the same way when I was in college. It wasnt a surprise to me that the men with a lot of female friends also hooked up with a few of those girls. Women always play coy about how they choose their male friends, but like I said, its not surprise that the guys with many female friends, had several of those women pining after him.

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Medium.Lumo Established Member

Medium.Lumo

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David I don't think it's that strange. I have had a lot of female friends over the years and this is my first serious relationship ... well first ever relationship actually.

 

It happens. .. It might be rare, but not as rare as you think.

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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Noproblem, I have a question for you. Don't get offended because i'm just curious. Don't you find it a little strange that you have so many male friends but never had a serious relationship?

 

What's wrong in remaining single!

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