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Dumper or dumpee?


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Posted

Lets say you were involved with someone who is so distant but won't end it because they still want to hear from you when it's convenient for them and they leave you no choice but to walk away and end it yourself, would you consider yourself the dumper or dumpee?

Posted

Interesting one. I'm going with dumpee. Same as when we catch them cheating and dump them. They are too cowardly to leave and make us end it but really they had already left us.

Posted

Depends.

 

If you are looking to break NC then you are the dumpee.

Posted

I pretty much had to force my ex to dump me. I could tell he wanted to end it but he just wouldn't, so I finally asked him if he was dumping me and he said yes.

 

I consider myself the dumpee.

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Posted
Depends.

 

If you are looking to break NC then you are the dumpee.

 

 

This is not going to happen by any means. Since I was the one that ultimately walked away from things, I'm just trying to figure out if I was the dumper or dumpee. Nothing more, nothing less.

Posted

It doesn't really matter, considering the end result is the same. If you want to play the victim for a while, then call the other person the dumper. It's a comfort to certain people to feel wronged in some way.

 

Sometimes things just naturally end, without anyone having to initiate an actual dumping talk. Putting labels on the end of relationships doesn't do anyone any favours. Most relationships have a shelf life. Sometimes the one that has the courage to realise this and act upon it is doing both parties a favour in the long term.

 

Some people end up becoming serial dumpee's, but in reality, they just didn't have the courage to leave first. That's why you see people saying "why do I always get dumped". They don't. It's just a perception.

Posted

I was in the same situation and although I technically ended up as the dumpee, I had been considering being the dumper months before. She made it easier for me so I don't ever have to second guess myself. But I have learned that if it isn't right, walk away and don't look back.

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Posted
It doesn't really matter, considering the end result is the same. QUOTE]

 

Valid point. It's just interesting to think about the different perceptions that people may have about it.

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