Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Looking to get some opinions on something... How soon is too soon to introduce a new girlfriend to your closest friends? Reason I ask is because a girl that I broke up with in February brought this up during our BU talk. She said I moved too fast and a couple of the things she brought up were that I invited her to my best friend's daughter's 4th birthday party and I also invited her to another really close friend's xmas party at a local restaurant. Now, these friends that I am talking about are guys that I have literally known since 3rd grade. We grew up together and I consider them pretty much family along with their wives and girlfriends. I don't have any siblings myself but these guys are like my brothers so its not like I invited this girl out to meet a bunch of acquaintances or people I see every now and then. When I invited this girl to the occasions we had been seeing each other for about a month and officially dating for about 2 weeks or so. And also, I never did introduce her to my parents during this time. Only friends. Was that too soon to meet the friends? Any opinions are welcome. Thanks!
Chocolat Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I don't think there's an answer except that, if she'd really liked you, it would have been fine. There's no set timeline for these things, imo. The right girl will want to meet your friends. 1
oldshirt Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 You introduce her to whoever you want, whenever you want. She has the option to not go if she doesn't want to. Your ex was just wanting to find reasons for the BU. 1
Gaeta Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 If she thought it was too soon than she had to decline. My last boyfriend wanted to invite me out to a close friends dinner on our 4th date, I declined, I explained to him it was too soon for me and he accepted gracefully to wait a few more dates. Later on he introduced me to his friends and family on our 2nd month mark, he was comfortable with it. I waited the 5 month mark to introduce him to mine. There is no right or wrong. My youngest brother (35) brings a new girlfriend each Xmas lol, we know by Easter we won't see her again, it's no big deal As long as children are not involved you can bring your new date to your mom on your second date if you feel like it.
Author Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 I don't think there's an answer except that, if she'd really liked you, it would have been fine. There's no set timeline for these things, imo. The right girl will want to meet your friends. That's my mindset too. Granted, we (together) probably did move a little too fast with the relationship but to have her bring up these things during the breakup really kind of hurt. I brought this girl in to my circle of closest friends and for some reason she decided it wasn't a good thing.
O'Malley Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 How many dates had you been on when you took her to these events? Personal preference, but I'd be uncomfortable socializing with friends on the initial dates (most especially if a first date involves hanging out with friends), even if I really liked the guy. That's the time to get better acquainted one on one, not with a bunch of friends or family hanging around and speculating. However, it's fine to socialize with friends or family at events if things are progressing well after a few weeks or a month or two, as long as you gave a heads up about it and allowed her to decline. More likely she didn't have as strong of interest in you as you had about her at the time, and her discomfort with those outings was a result of that. I don't see that you did anything terribly wrong, just different dating styles.
Author Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 How many dates had you been on when you took her to these events? Personal preference, but I'd be uncomfortable socializing with friends on the initial dates (most especially if a first date involves hanging out with friends), even if I really liked the guy. That's the time to get better acquainted one on one, not with a bunch of friends or family hanging around and speculating. However, it's fine to socialize with friends or family at events if things are progressing well after a few weeks or a month or two, as long as you gave a heads up about it and allowed her to decline. More likely she didn't have as strong of interest in you as you had about her at the time, and her discomfort with those outings was a result of that. I don't see that you did anything terribly wrong, just different dating styles. We had been on numerous dates before going to these functions. We talked all the time and spent a few nights together. She really played it off well if she wasn't interested. I'm over it now because she really treated me like crap towards the end but these things about my friends really bothered me for a while.
oldshirt Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 She was just mudflinging and leaving scorched earth behind her. She pro ably really liked it at the time, otherwise she would have said something then. The thing is, since she is an ex, her thoughts and opinions no longer count. That's what being an ex is. 1
Author Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 She was just mudflinging and leaving scorched earth behind her. She pro ably really liked it at the time, otherwise she would have said something then. The thing is, since she is an ex, her thoughts and opinions no longer count. That's what being an ex is. I'll drink to that.
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