QuakerOats Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I have been a pretty even keeled person in my relationships. This one is different, for obvious reasons. MM sends me a chit-chatty friendly email yesterday...describing his day (no mention of W of course). Asks me how I'm doing. I feel like this would normally be a phone conversation...then I get to thinking...he probably can't call me because the W is around. And...I snap. I respond to the email with a snappy "We aren't friends...why do I want to know this stuff? I deserve someone of my own." Then I text his phone that he is a two-timer and his wife should know the truth. Of course he didn't respond last night or today. I vascilate between feeling relief for expressing my own truth to feeling sad for doing this and hoping he'll reach out. But why would he? If it isn't "working" for him, he can just reassume his position as H. I'd never tell his W, so that was an empty threat in my text. That also makes me feel spineless and stupid. This whole thing is an emotional disaster.
Ruffian1 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 We aren't friends...why do I want to know this stuff? I deserve someone of my own." Then I text his phone that he is a two-timer and his wife should know the truth. Don't be hard on yourself. ^^^You spoke the truth. You should protect yourself from anymore interaction with him. It will only hurt you and prolong this relationship. He does not have your best interests at heart. PS: Your are correct, his wife should know (be told) the truth. 2
Waverly Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I had to laugh at the title of your post. YES. I am generally pretty laid-back and even-keeled, but the affair and the fallout from it has left me (obviously) completely unhinged. I haven't actually done anything crazy, but the ups and downs and intensity of the feelings in all of this is INSANE. I have not felt like myself in months.
lynn1954 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 QuakerOats, yes, I felt like a psycho quite often during the time that I was in an A with a MM. In general, whenever people get involved in any situation that creates problems for them or brings out feelings or consequences that are difficult, the situation will make them feel upset and crazy. People who'd never previously used alcohol or drugs get involved with them and become addicts: living with the results of that choice can make you feel psycho. People who'd never previously been in debt run up credit card bills or lose their home to debt: living with the results of that choice can make you feel psycho. People who'd never previously been involved in an affair become a participant in an A: living with the results of that choice can make you feel psycho.
SugarHibiscus Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Psycho? Why yes. Yes. I've behaved completely out of character during my A. Taking crazy risks, obsessively thinking about OM and all the lie, lie, lying. Lying to myself, my H, my BFF and my OM. 1
Cocochai Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Yes go read my "Should have stayed NC".. We do this over thinking, reading too much into and torture of back and forth of NC. I can't do it any more or I'll.... Go crazy. I have my XMM blocked and even that I'm like "well what if you miss such and such" He never gave me an explanation over why he suddenly went NC in the pass until I had to bring it out of him. Yes we do and when it gets to that point... It's time to shut it down.
Quiet Storm Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) When a relationship brings out your worst qualities, that's how you know it's not good for you. Not just in As but with your parents, siblings, etc. I want to uplift the ones I love. Beware of those that have no problem dragging you down...it doesn't have to be intentional. They just have issues, which rain down on whoever is under their cloud. We can still love toxic parents, siblings and exes from a distance. Its not a reflection of our love, but of our desire to stay sane. We have to take care of ourselves, and do our best to protect ourselves from emotional pain. Edited March 27, 2014 by Quiet Storm 5
jwi71 Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 When a relationship brings out your worst qualities, that's how you know it's not good for you. This right here. If an R or person or person(s) are bringing you down - it is NOT good for you. Jettison it. 1
KaliLove Posted March 27, 2014 Posted March 27, 2014 I have been a pretty even keeled person in my relationships. This one is different, for obvious reasons. MM sends me a chit-chatty friendly email yesterday...describing his day (no mention of W of course). Asks me how I'm doing. I feel like this would normally be a phone conversation...then I get to thinking...he probably can't call me because the W is around. And...I snap. I respond to the email with a snappy "We aren't friends...why do I want to know this stuff? I deserve someone of my own." Then I text his phone that he is a two-timer and his wife should know the truth. Of course he didn't respond last night or today. I vascilate between feeling relief for expressing my own truth to feeling sad for doing this and hoping he'll reach out. But why would he? If it isn't "working" for him, he can just reassume his position as H. I'd never tell his W, so that was an empty threat in my text. That also makes me feel spineless and stupid. This whole thing is an emotional disaster. None of this sounds psycho to me. It sounds like you want to be in a relationship and he wants an affair. 1
Author QuakerOats Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 None of this sounds psycho to me. It sounds like you want to be in a relationship and he wants an affair. That is the truth. Only I want the relationship to be with him, and he is not available...the cycle. It makes me crazy. I will get off this merry go round.
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