Absinthe Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I hear a lot of people say that if you listen to your intuition or your gut, you can't go wrong. And for many things in my life this has proven true. However, over the past few months it seems my intuition radar has gone wonky when it comes to relationships and I feel...well, like I'm navigating a new city with Google Maps. Never quite sure if that red dot is pointing to what I'm actually looking for. I have one of those "neverending story" exes. My gut kept telling me this dude was no good. I had no physical proof of anything, but he was notoriously avoidant and never told me anything, as a result of which I just couldn't trust him. Didn't help that my friends and family were also insistent he was a jerkwad. We've known each other about seven years now. A couple of years ago he told me, after four years of on-off dating, that he loved me and didn't want anyone else. But I was moving a whole forty minutes down the road and he couldn't do "long distance". I said, on yer bike boyo, you clearly cannot be bothered to commit if you're playing these games. Not gonna lie, I was devastated. But also, I thought, not a chump. So I went out with this Amazing Guy for two and a half years. He was everything my ex wasn't. Open. Honest. I knew exactly where I stood with him. Our relationship hit all the usual milestones. We said we loved each other within 6 months. Moved in together within a year. I was blissfully happy. Content. I thought, this is it, this is what love is supposed to feel like...even though, naturally, I still cared for the Neverending Story. Then one day, despite telling me he loved me every day, despite us hardly ever fighting, Amazing Guy dumped me. Even better, he kicked me out! I got a great job not long after this so I landed on my feet, but I felt as if I had had the rug pulled out from under me. I completely, utterly, did not see it coming. Nor did my friends or family. Even now I look back for the red flags. I can't for the life of me find any. This has changed my perception and my trust A LOT. Neverending Story was actually really supportive. We live in different countries, but he asks to Skype regularly and tells me his feelings have not changed. Now we really ARE in a situation where the relationship would be long-distance, and neither of us is up for that, but I find myself emotionally attached yet again and my "intuition" is telling me he'll probably find a new girl soon enough and I'll be devastated. In other words...my gut feels like he will hurt me. But I desperately want my gut to be wrong. I am curious as to other people's gut feelings. Is your gut always right? Or have your ever had your intuition way off the mark?
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