Mo_Do Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 You have to ask why? You were WAY too aggressive with the kissing and what not for a first date. Regardless, there's now another guy involved that she's either already met or about to meet and he's bucked you off the horse. Move on, and don't grope your next date or come on so strong when you REALLY don't even know her.
drg2365 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 (edited) Dude also consider the fact that it was online. This happens. ALL THE TIME. I have had not had a huge number of dates, but people flake because they can. Its easier, they don't owe you anything. You have no general idea of who they are seeing or what they want. You're flirtiness could have been welcomed greatly or a turn off. You have NO IDEA. I've had 2 great dates (one was awhile ago, one recent) with fun convo who never even contacted me again, one of those gave 2 flakerific excuses spread out if that even counts. The fact that she is giving excuses instead of never texting you ever again is at least something. She may have never, ever texted you again. And it has nothing to do with how well the date went. Meet someone in real life and possibly even through mutual friends or acquaintences? They have been attracted to you before the date begins in some fashion and a second date after a great first is more likely. It just is. Online stuff? Free online stuff? All bets are off from the beginning. Edited March 29, 2014 by drg2365
MidwestUSA Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 She never responded to my text on Tuesday. Send one an hour ago just going straight into it. Basically saying" lets get a chocolate milkshake tomorrow afternoon. Your treat". She immediately responded back "I have to work all day tomorrow. raincheck." Ehh. Not even sure how to respond. I don't follow. Did her team win? If they did, then YOU'RE buying the milkshake. But, bringing back the milkshake bet scene that led to that first kiss (let's assume the giggling wasn't for a good reason) probably wasn't your best move. Next her and move on. You don't need another hint.
Armegoggon Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Yeah maybe the kissing part caused this to occur. Pretending to feel comfortable is not hard but still, she probably lied about the next date. Wait and see what happens and hope she will respond soon. Also, have you kissed a girl on first dates when you've dated? Hope things go well next date. If not then you learned from your mistake.
KatZee Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 So you didn't ask but pretty much made a statement that said, "Let's get chocolate milk shakes. You pay." I'm not surprised she didn't jump on the opportunity to get together with you. Seems like a whole bunch of little things that accumulated into one big thing that made her realize she's really not into you. I don't know if you're trying to be funny, or witty, or what, but your messages were a little awkward, as was grabbing her twice and pushing yourself onto her on the first date. Women like to be courted. That means if you ask her out on a date, you should pay, and not say "hey you pay." Nor does it mean you grope her and rush the physical if she has not made the first move or given you a very clear indication that that's what she wants.
Strength in Healing Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 (edited) In my strongest opinion, she just met another person... I mean, it IS okcupid and all. You realize online girls get up to hundreds of messages a day? I don't know how anyone has success dating online, that **** is for the birds. She was probably juggling 5-8 guys at a time. You did nothing wrong, she just is a typical online dating female (sorry online females). Edited March 29, 2014 by Strength in Healing 1
topaMAXX Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 In my strongest opinion, she just met another person... I mean, it IS okcupid and all. You realize online girls get up to hundreds of messages a day? I don't know how anyone has success dating online, that **** is for the birds. She was probably juggling 5-8 guys at a time. You did nothing wrong, she just is a typical online dating female (sorry online females). This is true. OP, OkCupid is a hook-up site. Sure, some relationships come from it occasionally, but I wouldn't go into it expecting that. If you met her off eharmony or a matchmaker or something like that, I'd be more inclined to say you screwed this up. But, in all likelihood, this probably would have happened regardless of what you did.
MixedUpChick Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 OP, OkCupid is a hook-up site. Sure, some relationships come from it occasionally, but I wouldn't go into it expecting that. No idea where you get this from, it's only a hook-up site if you use it for hook-ups. I've dated people from OKC & they were dates, not hook-ups, with men who were also looking for a relationship. Sure, some are just looking for their next conquest, but there are tons of people online who are looking for more than that. There are plenty of people using POF, OKC, etc. for dating, with the goal of a long term relationship. It amazes me that people still think so badly of online dating.
topaMAXX Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 No idea where you get this from, it's only a hook-up site if you use it for hook-ups. I've dated people from OKC & they were dates, not hook-ups, with men who were also looking for a relationship. Sure, some are just looking for their next conquest, but there are tons of people online who are looking for more than that. There are plenty of people using POF, OKC, etc. for dating, with the goal of a long term relationship. It amazes me that people still think so badly of online dating. Either way, as I've said before, the only way to succeed on these sites as a man is to be very good looking.
MixedUpChick Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Either way, as I've said before, the only way to succeed on these sites as a man is to be very good looking. Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one, too (I'm really not an argumentative person, I just have strong feelings on the whole "online dating" subject based on my own experiences) I never contact (or am even interested in - either online or off) "good looking" men. I prefer more average/ordinary looking men. I think I'm somewhat average looking so I expect an "average-ish" man would be a good match for me. Granted, not everyone is like me, though
Chico333 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 You asked her out by telling her that she has to pay for it? Was that your way of being funny? Because either way it's not. Never do that again. Move on. You blew it.
Author apetoape Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Not exactly trying to be funny but I was just going by what she said on our date last Sunday. Since I paid for the drinks, she said she'll pay when we go out next week
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Met this girl from OKCUPID and we talked for about 2 weeks after she gave me her number. Just through text. I asked her out and she finally agreed. Here's how the date went last Sunday: -Hung out at a bar for about an hour. We saw a game on TV and she wanted to make a bet on which team would win. She said that if her team won then I'll have to get her a chocolate milkshake. Then asked me what I wanted... I just leaned in, kissed her and said "some more of that". She giggled and I acted like nothing happened -She then immediately suggests we meet again next week. -She then asked if we can go get food. I took her to one of my favorite cheap spots and we spent another hour there eating and laughing. -Walked her outside afterwards, and as she turned around to say something, I grabbed her and went in for another kiss. She then reminded me that we'll see each other again this weekend. Date ended. -She texted me 2 hours later to tell me she is working on a paper and its dreadful. I texted her back some sarcastic comments and tell her to keep working, that she'll do well. No communications on Monday. Tuesday morning I sent her a picture text asking for her opinion on which tie I should wear to match with my shirt. Shes a girly girl who likes fashion so I thought it was appropriate....well no response Its been a full 24 hours and still no response. Did she lose interest that quickly? Any advice on what I should do now? Women will say anything while they are in your presence to avoid confrontation so you really won't know until after the date when you text or call 1
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 If that's true, why was she so enthusiastic about a 2nd date? Because lots of women LIE to avoid confrontation.
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Here's the text, let me know if it sounds offensive to you: Her : Paper is sucking out my soul Me: I've been working hard watching Walking dead and chugging a beer..poor me Keep working you'll get through it! 2 days later: Me: Need your opinion. Which tie should I be wearing with this shirt? *pic* -I would have asked her out no matter what answer she gave. Didn't want to just start by asking her out Why didn't you pick up the phone and call? You are distancing yourself with all the texting 2
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I did not say she found you repulsive or she did not enjoy her time with you. I said this was not an amazing date to her! She offered to go for a bite because she was hungry and you were good company. Doesn't mean she wants your babies. I have been on many dates where I enjoyed my time, the guy talked about seeing me again and I said *sure* then at the end of the night he kissed me and I returned the kiss. Then I got home, got a cool down moment, thought about it and felt *meh* about the guy. So giving guys mixed signals huh? That can make someone snap if they were really into you. You put your lips on a guy and then decided not to see him again?
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Dude, don't feel terrible. This is modern dating. This one or two date and then no response happens to me and every other guy I know ALL the time. Just go out there and get more numbers! And it sucks because it's money being spent which is why i would never ever go to dinner
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 If she's interested all this nit-picking at texts is pointless. An interested girl isn't going to lose interest because a text is not perfect, period. Also if she is reading sooo much into an obviously jokey text, she is a drama queen! The over-analyzation of texts in this thread is 100% pointless. The perfect text won't make her interested if she isn't interested. An unperfect text won't make her lose interest if she is interested. That's all you need to know. So by her current actions IMO she is not interested. Maybe she is dating multiple people and is more excited about another guy. Why don't you schedule the 2nd date WHILE ON the first date next time? If she hems and haws, she's not into you. If she agrees, she is. And maybe another guy is calling instead of texting
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 This is true. OP, OkCupid is a hook-up site. Sure, some relationships come from it occasionally, but I wouldn't go into it expecting that. If you met her off eharmony or a matchmaker or something like that, I'd be more inclined to say you screwed this up. But, in all likelihood, this probably would have happened regardless of what you did. I thought POF was a hook up site? 1
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I don't think Milkshake outing should be mentioned in a text. I mean even if that is something you want to do atleast connect it to something else like a walk or movie afterwards What two grown people are just going to meet up for milkshakes? 1
MidwestUSA Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I don't think Milkshake outing should be mentioned in a text. I mean even if that is something you want to do atleast connect it to something else like a walk or movie afterwards What two grown people are just going to meet up for milkshakes? What's wrong with milkshakes? Anyway, it was something they had talked about during the first date. He was just following up. 2
WP4046 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 What's wrong with milkshakes? Anyway, it was something they had talked about during the first date. He was just following up. Just sounds like something two middle school kids who are going together would do 1
Author apetoape Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Sorry forgot to mention this. She deleted her OKC account after she gave me her number. Said it was too overwhelming, and guys on there were pigs. She is prob a 9/10 on looks so I don't doubt she got flooded. Anyways, I have yet to respond to her raincheck statement last night. Thinking of saying something like : Was cashing in your raincheck but it bounced. Hope this was a mistake and you didn't give me bogus check
Mo_Do Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Dumb. Make a date with her and stop screwing around 2
HappyLove Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 Sorry forgot to mention this. She deleted her OKC account after she gave me her number. Said it was too overwhelming, and guys on there were pigs. She is prob a 9/10 on looks so I don't doubt she got flooded. Anyways, I have yet to respond to her raincheck statement last night. Thinking of saying something like : Was cashing in your raincheck but it bounced. Hope this was a mistake and you didn't give me bogus check I see why she NEXT you! 1
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