apetoape Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Met this girl from OKCUPID and we talked for about 2 weeks after she gave me her number. Just through text. I asked her out and she finally agreed. Here's how the date went last Sunday: -Hung out at a bar for about an hour. We saw a game on TV and she wanted to make a bet on which team would win. She said that if her team won then I'll have to get her a chocolate milkshake. Then asked me what I wanted... I just leaned in, kissed her and said "some more of that". She giggled and I acted like nothing happened -She then immediately suggests we meet again next week. -She then asked if we can go get food. I took her to one of my favorite cheap spots and we spent another hour there eating and laughing. -Walked her outside afterwards, and as she turned around to say something, I grabbed her and went in for another kiss. She then reminded me that we'll see each other again this weekend. Date ended. -She texted me 2 hours later to tell me she is working on a paper and its dreadful. I texted her back some sarcastic comments and tell her to keep working, that she'll do well. No communications on Monday. Tuesday morning I sent her a picture text asking for her opinion on which tie I should wear to match with my shirt. Shes a girly girl who likes fashion so I thought it was appropriate....well no response Its been a full 24 hours and still no response. Did she lose interest that quickly? Any advice on what I should do now?
Omei Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) Its only been a day... Btw the first kiss prob was a shock And when you did it again, she reminds you that you have "time" You might of came on too strong and freaked her out, when men kiss me on first dates I giggle and smile too but secretly am uncomfortable, maybe she is as well? When you have been friends prior first date kissing is awesome, when its someone you just met on a website eeeerrr. My advice is send 1 last text asking if your 2nd date is still on of you get no reply then its over. Edited March 26, 2014 by Omei 3
Gaeta Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 You had an amazing time but she didn't. You came on too strong and that statement *I want more of that* while you kissed her made you look not so serious. Also, if it took 2 weeks to *convince* her to go on a date with you I believe it's because she was not that into you to start with. 3
TXGuy Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 If there is a problem (it was hard to figure out your post date timeline), I would bet the likely culprit was your 'sarcastic comments' over text. Never do sarcastic over text. If you must do sarcastic over text never do it with someone you have known less than three months. I think your first date kiss was fine. She agreed to go out with you again. All was going well until you sent those texts, while she was stressed out over school. Give her space. Don't blow up her phone. If you hear back from her, great. Roll with it. If not, let her go. 2
Author apetoape Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 Hmm if she didn't have a good time then why would she suggest for us to spend more time together and get food afterwards? She could have just ended the date. Why did she suggest to meet up again several times? Doesn't add up. Why did she text me later that night? She didn't have to. I've been dating alot recently and these are signs of interest. Girls who do not have a good time would not keep suggesting that we hang out again. Now she might have had a change of heart after a few days, but those are GLARING signs of interest on the first date.
drew232 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 You had an amazing time but she didn't. You came on too strong and that statement *I want more of that* while you kissed her made you look not so serious. Also, if it took 2 weeks to *convince* her to go on a date with you I believe it's because she was not that into you to start with. If that's true, why was she so enthusiastic about a 2nd date? 1
Author apetoape Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) If there is a problem (it was hard to figure out your post date timeline), I would bet the likely culprit was your 'sarcastic comments' over text. Never do sarcastic over text. If you must do sarcastic over text never do it with someone you have known less than three months. I think your first date kiss was fine. She agreed to go out with you again. All was going well until you sent those texts, while she was stressed out over school. Give her space. Don't blow up her phone. If you hear back from her, great. Roll with it. If not, let her go. Here's the text, let me know if it sounds offensive to you: Her : Paper is sucking out my soul Me: I've been working hard watching Walking dead and chugging a beer..poor me Keep working you'll get through it! 2 days later: Me: Need your opinion. Which tie should I be wearing with this shirt? *pic* -I would have asked her out no matter what answer she gave. Didn't want to just start by asking her out Edited March 26, 2014 by apetoape
clia Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Call her on the phone today and ask her out for this weekend. I would honestly think it a little weird if a guy who I went on one date with was suddenly asking me what tie he should be wearing. 1
soccerrprp Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Here's the text, let me know if it sounds offensive to you: Her : Paper is sucking out my soul Me: I've been working hard watching Walking dead and chugging a beer..poor me Keep working you'll get through it! 2 days later: Me: Need your opinion. Which tie should I be wearing with this shirt? *pic* -I would have asked her out no matter what answer she gave. Didn't want to just start by asking her out Not offensive, but she was probably wanting to hear something more supportive like "sorry to hear that, would you like a break?" or "sorry, wish I could help. is there anyway I can help?" Again, didn't sound offensive, but not supportive or sympathetic either. 5
Author apetoape Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 Call her on the phone today and ask her out for this weekend. I would honestly think it a little weird if a guy who I went on one date with was suddenly asking me what tie he should be wearing. You know I would to. But in my past 2 weeks of talking to her, she constantly talked about fashion, designs, giving me tips on decorating my place. So it was within context of the things we talked about. I plan on calling her tomorrow, I still want to see if she'll get back to my text
clia Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 You know I would to. But in my past 2 weeks of talking to her, she constantly talked about fashion, designs, giving me tips on decorating my place. So it was within context of the things we talked about. I plan on calling her tomorrow, I still want to see if she'll get back to my text Fair enough. It's Wednesday. If you want a date with her on Friday or Saturday night, IMO you need to call her today. By tomorrow she may have made other plans for her weekend evenings.
Gaeta Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Hmm if she didn't have a good time then why would she suggest for us to spend more time together and get food afterwards? She could have just ended the date. Why did she suggest to meet up again several times? Doesn't add up. Why did she text me later that night? She didn't have to. I've been dating alot recently and these are signs of interest. Girls who do not have a good time would not keep suggesting that we hang out again. Now she might have had a change of heart after a few days, but those are GLARING signs of interest on the first date. I did not say she found you repulsive or she did not enjoy her time with you. I said this was not an amazing date to her! She offered to go for a bite because she was hungry and you were good company. Doesn't mean she wants your babies. I have been on many dates where I enjoyed my time, the guy talked about seeing me again and I said *sure* then at the end of the night he kissed me and I returned the kiss. Then I got home, got a cool down moment, thought about it and felt *meh* about the guy.
TXGuy Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Here's the text, let me know if it sounds offensive to you: Her : Paper is sucking out my soul Me: I've been working hard watching Walking dead and chugging a beer..poor me Keep working you'll get through it! 2 days later: Me: Need your opinion. Which tie should I be wearing with this shirt? *pic* -I would have asked her out no matter what answer she gave. Didn't want to just start by asking her out Not too bad, but the "poor me" part could be misconstrued as you making a dig at her. Essentially saying that her text was really a "poor me" text. I know you didn't mean it that way. But the relationship is brand new and she was stressing over other things. It could have been taken wrong. The 'which tie' thing was pretty weak. It conveys you don't know how to dress yourself and are seeking her approval. But since you say she is a fashionista, maybe it wasn't so bad. I think your date went very well. Following something like that, I try to keep conversation light and minimal until the next date. Stay in 'don't screw it up' mode. Let us know how it turns out.
jrh1524 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Dude, don't feel terrible. This is modern dating. This one or two date and then no response happens to me and every other guy I know ALL the time. Just go out there and get more numbers! 2
sid3 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I try to keep conversation light and minimal until the next date. Stay in 'don't screw it up' mode. . So simple, yet some great advice. This alone would remedy a majority of the problems many of the recent male thread starters have run into.
thecrucible Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I don't think you said or did anything wrong. It all sounds normal to me. If she is turned off by anything you said, then it just shows that there wasn't a lot of interest in you to begin with so it's not really your fault.
Mascara Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Hmmm. I don't always get picture texts. Try her one more time just in case.
veggirl Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Not too bad, but the "poor me" part could be misconstrued as you making a dig at her. Essentially saying that her text was really a "poor me" text. I know you didn't mean it that way. But the relationship is brand new and she was stressing over other things. It could have been taken wrong. The 'which tie' thing was pretty weak. It conveys you don't know how to dress yourself and are seeking her approval. But since you say she is a fashionista, maybe it wasn't so bad. If she's interested all this nit-picking at texts is pointless. An interested girl isn't going to lose interest because a text is not perfect, period. Also if she is reading sooo much into an obviously jokey text, she is a drama queen! The over-analyzation of texts in this thread is 100% pointless. The perfect text won't make her interested if she isn't interested. An unperfect text won't make her lose interest if she is interested. That's all you need to know. So by her current actions IMO she is not interested. Maybe she is dating multiple people and is more excited about another guy. Why don't you schedule the 2nd date WHILE ON the first date next time? If she hems and haws, she's not into you. If she agrees, she is. 8
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Agree with Veggirl. The texts weren't bad at all. Barring her phone getting lost or broken, this chick is just not that interested it seems.
Damaged217 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I also agree that there was nothing wrong with your texts. I had been through this scenario more times than I can count with guys on OKC. We would have a great first date with great convo and the guy would say he wanted to see me again, but then crickets. You reached out and she didn't respond. Perhaps she saw the text while she was busy doing something and forgot to respond later. I do that all of the time. Whatever the reason-just stop worrying about it. Continue with your life and date other girls. If she responds later, great. If not, you'll be too busy having a life not to care. Trust me-never put all your eggs in one basket, ESPECIALLY when it comes to online dating. 2
Gaeta Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 This is the crap I'm so damn sick of. Women lying and changing their mind as the wind blows. What does "sure" mean anymore? I have no idea. Cool down moment? He was likeable but didn't have the lightning bolt spark? This is so typical how "modern women" toy with men's feelings. I'm the man at the other end of this who this has happened repeatedly to. It's always the good guy who gets beaten out by the flashy guy. There's always someone better is what women believe and I'm always dropped down to a "meh". You think that only happens to men? really? I could write a book about men taking me out on 2-3 dates then disappearing in thin air. You don't see me on here complaining about it. I move to next. I am not gonna let a little flake take me down. I have too much self-confidence for that. If he doesn't want to see me again it's his lost. Bottom line is that's how the game is played, it sucks! I agree 100% but you keep on trying till you meet someone you both hit it off. 2
hasaquestion Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I have never ever pulled this crap, and it is crap, with a single woman. Ever. It's not right and not good. I don't give a damn what others do or how you rationalize lying. That's how YOU play the game and it sure doesn't suck for the one doing the lying. This is crystal clear proof that dating is just some game to you, and the women who pulled the same crap on me. What's happening is you're waiting for the hot flashy guy who ignites the so called spark that women constantly talk about. No it's not easy to just say next one when dates come just a couple times a year. All these women go through 100 guys like nothing. To go through 100 women would take me 50 years. Yeah maybe I'll hit it off when I'm 90. So damn sick of women and their games I feel like just quitting entirely and not dealing with lie after lie anymore. What are you suggesting? Women stop trying to meet someone they like?
Author apetoape Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 She never responded to my text on Tuesday. Send one an hour ago just going straight into it. Basically saying" lets get a chocolate milkshake tomorrow afternoon. Your treat". She immediately responded back "I have to work all day tomorrow. raincheck." Ehh. Not even sure how to respond.
HappyLove Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 She never responded to my text on Tuesday. Send one an hour ago just going straight into it. Basically saying" lets get a chocolate milkshake tomorrow afternoon. Your treat". She immediately responded back "I have to work all day tomorrow. raincheck." Ehh. Not even sure how to respond. Just say sure and go NO CONTACT, OP. How many excuses do you need? Move on to someone who's interested. 1
Survivor12 Posted March 29, 2014 Posted March 29, 2014 I'm curious...when you asked about which tie to wear, did you make it clear that it was to wear on a date with HER?
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