Broken up, No contact. Salvageable?

[Speed 330]

First off I just Want to say I'm so glad I found this forum. I've been lurking for a week or two now and I've learned so much and tend to find it very therapeutic at positive (sometimes). Your all great people and I thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

My breakup started about 3 weeks ago. My Brother had just come back into town and we were going out partying, in the meantime I neglected my 2 year girlfriend (25). I was unsure of our relationship, I was tired of texting back and fourth and She was angry with me for the neglect and the way I had been treating her..I didn't care if we broke or not really (then). So I told her to "just get over it, being angry isn't going to get you anywhere with me". Before this time we hardly ever fought. Very rarely.

 

Once She broke it off, which I will say I mainly forced her too with my cold ways, I realized How She was everything to me. I did a 180 as most men commonly do after loosing someone so close. I had made a mistake. I begged, I pleaded, I offered her everything She ever wanted, change marriage a home together. I sent her flowers to her work, I left a promise ring in her car, I sent letters I tried so hard to make her see I could be different, I can be What She needs. For Two weeks I was persistent.

 

Then I read about No contact, I broke it several times though, with mixed signals from her. I believe the break was purely impulsive Because I had "pushed her to her breaking point". . She blocked me from social media, and my family (who She was very close with) as did her family and friends to me to make the break easier on herself. She clearly has feelings for me still, I was able to get that out of her. She promised to never forget me but admitted She had to put herself first for once and this was for her..I "hurt her in ways She couldn't believe" and this is "the end, not a space thing"

 

Now I'm true No contact. I'm on day 2 right now (made it 5 last time). I understand this is for me, but the Hope of recovery is still present. I deleted her number, removed all emotional triggers and destroyed all letters. There's absolutely No possible way I can break No contact now.

 

Now I know the situation looks bleak, but I swear one more chance with this girl would be all I need. I Want to marry her, and be by her side through everything amd never hurt her again.

 

Although this is only day 2, it's very hard for me to let go. I'm working on it diligently, and myself. This site is helping me overcome so much. I love everyone here and Hope for us all that second chance!

 

What's troubling me currently is I reactivated an account I had on a dating site, only to find shrink had Also don't the same. Very troubling, it's so soon!

 

I know to attain a clean slate, we must both be past this break. I intend to be a better person by the time I break No contact. 27 days from now. I have a plan.

 

Over the course of our (amazing) relationship I gained about 40lbs. I don't think it ever bothered her, but this is where I'm starting physically. I've been in the gym (since about a week before She left me) and so far I've cut about 20lbs. I now go Twice daily, run about 6 miles and burn a 1000 calories, a day. I've found this break to be a helpful motivator for me.

 

Emotionally I come here to learn to cope with the loss, and constantly through the days I've reflected on ways in which I could be a better man. And it's all sticking.

 

I know our relationship is dead. It's Gone! It won't ever be the same. But Id like to start a new one with her. A better, stronger one. I've communicated that. There's nothing else I can do at this point.

 

27 days from today I will wait for her to take her lunch break, looking as I did when I stole her heart the first time.(very feasible goal for 30 days, my weight has fluctuated often throughout my life), and Hope She will allow me to chat with her based on that alone, and see How much different I've changed emotionally, and mentally which I will be working on constantly (pointers?)

 

Is this a good idea? And the dating site thing, I doubt She would pay for it. Do you think she's just testing the waters For a simple thrill or actually trying to meet other men so soon? I was just keeping the door open to possibilities when I activated mine. We were matches today, close matches that How I saw it. I didn't block her or mean to break NC, but I left it alone with a sick part of me hoping She sees it and becomes jealous.

 

I would legitimately love some honest opinions on my situation. I know NC is about moving on, I intend to do just that, but I still Want to wipe the board clean and show her we can have a better relationship. I'm glad She broke it off, Because it truly enlightened me to the idea of the perfect relationship we can have.

 

Thanks for reading, you guys and gals are amazing There's nothing I would like more than to share a success story. I promise to keep this thread updated on my progress anc come back after day 30 win or lose.

[Kevin_D]

This is a really bad idea and it's obvious that you're unable to see things clearly at the moment (I know this because I was in your position a few months ago).

 

Look, women pick fights when they want to end relationships. If she actually had strong feelings for you, she would accept your apology. She wanted out and it has nothing to do with you partying together with your brother. She wants to date other guys. You need to accept this; She broke up with you because she would rather be with other guys.

 

It doesn't matter what she says. She's just trying to be the victim; She loves you, she wanted this to work, but it's impossible know since you hurt her so much blah blah blah. I've heard it all before and it's plain BS. Don't believe it.

 

She knows how you feel. And everytime you try to contact her or send her a gift, you put more pressure on her. You can't convince her to come back. You can't.

 

So trash this 30 day plan. Make a new plan instead: Become a better person, not to "win" her back, but because it will make you happier. Maybe she will come back eventually, but for god sake, don't show up at her lunch break. The ball is in her court.

[d0nnivain]

UGH!!!!!!!! {bangs head on keyboard}

 

You are completely missing the whole point of NC. You are misusing it & driving a bigger wedge into your broken relationship.

 

NC is for when you want to heal. It had no place in trying to get back together. A reconciliation requires communication not silence. What you are doing is manipulative game playing.

 

If you want her back do a full court press starting with flowers & an apology. Then romance her. Keep up that throughout a relationship & you won't have the problem of being perceived as cold.

 

However, you also don't understand relationships. You said your relationship is dead but then you want to start a new one with her. It doesn't work that way. There's too much water under the bridge. You can't just start over. It's not like reboot on a computer. You have to fix what was wrong to move forward.

[Speed 330]

If There's No possible chance, then What could this hurt?