3j15 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Hi there, me and my ex broke up 1.5 months ago, but then were on/off limbo until a week ago. She dumped me, so I have been in NC since a week ago. Just like many of you know, it sucks being dumped. I was a emotional wreck, and to be honest I still am deep inside. But I feel myself getting over her slowly, moving forward, not thinking about her all the time. What has actually helped is trying online dating. I was never into online dating, cause I never really thought I needed it. But I figured why not make an account and start talking to other girls. Help get my mind off my ex. I dont want anything serious, nor am I looking for a relationship. But I do miss the affection and attention you get from being with someone. Online dating has been going alright, I have been in contact with a few girls, got some numbers and have been texting back and forth. I have a couple dates lined up with a couple cute girls, that share the similar interests as me. My question is should I feel guilty for going on a rebound dates? What I mean is not feeling guilty for my ex, (I can care less about what she thinks she ended it) but I feel bad for the girl I have plans to meet with, I dont want to lead them on, when I dunno if I am even ready to start dating again. Is this a bad idea, I feel like it is really helping me with my healing process, but will it come back to back fire on me later? any past experiences or input. Thanks.
acrosstheuniverse Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I think if you make it clear in your profile/messages that you are only looking to hang out, have some fun, but you're not in the right place for anything serious then you're not doing anything wrong. But make sure you DO make that clear. It's not fair to waste a girl's time and mess with her emotions by meeting her, dating her etc. while knowing secretly it cannot go anywhere.
Versacehottie Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 hmmm, bit of a moral dilemma really. I would say it depends on your age (not to be ageist but there is more of presumption in early to mid 20's that things are more casual), your wording and which online dating apps you use. Certain ones are more hook-up-y: USE THOSE. Therefore expectations will be different/lower. If you are older or on more serious online dating sites, tread carefully. Too soon in my opinion & if you present things in one way to get the companionship you want, it's bad karma.
OhThatGirl Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Just be honest. Do so upfront. Be careful that by saying "you aren't looking for anything serious" that girls don't assume you're just looking for casual sex. Unless you are. For some reason this is where my mind goes when a guy says that. Maybe "I'm looking to date, I'm recently out of a relationship and don't want anything serious now" Fair enough.
Author 3j15 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 Thank you for your replies, I totally agree, I am not here to mess around with someones emotions, I know how it feels and it's not something I want to do to anyone. I put that I am not looking for anything serious, just to go out for some casual dates. But the problem is with online dating, there are so many creeps and players online that girls just dont trust guys that are just looking for casual dates. They immediately think it's all about sex. And I'm not really just looking for sex, really just trying to fill that void of texting someone, and thinking of clever things to text back. I just missed flirting and interacting with girls again. I am in my mid 20's,and the girls I am talking to are early to mid 20's. And your totally right, it really depends on the dating site you use and obviously the words I choose. I feel uncomfortable telling these girls that I just got out of a relationship, I am worried, to them it will seem like a rebound. I would rather just be straight forward and tell them I am not looking for anything serious yet. But I will say, just online dating, and just talking and texting with other girls have helped me tremendously with the healing process, and my overall confidence and self esteem. It's only been a few days but I can really feel the difference. But then again, who knows tomorrow could be a different story, I could feel all depressed and thinking about my ex again... That's the thing about coping a loss... you never know when it'll come back.
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