guyed21 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 (edited) Hi Everyone! :-) I'm new to the forum. I've been lurking for sometime and finally decided to join, so that I can share my story. I don't know how unique it is, but it's certainly odd. So my first girlfriend, of 2.5 years, dumped me unexpectedly. I took it really badly, and it was the most pain I've felt in my life. After 3 months she told me she had a new boyfriend. I was really angry and upset and looking for a way to distract myself and forget her. That's when I met my second girlfriend. She's a really cool person and I liked her from the moment I met her. I wasn't sure if I liked her but got into a relationship anyway. Unfortunately, it became clear to me she was really just a rebound. Things were great for the first month but then just seemed to lose momentum. We broke up after six increasingly frustrating months and I was actually happy to be single again - this was 3 months ago. Then she told me recently she has a new boyfriend. I've specifically avoided contact since then, but today found out who the guy is. He seems like this really cool guy, awesome job, drives a nice car, promising career - really going somewhere. And ultimately, it leads me to feel bad about myself, by comparing myself to him and thinking "Oh he's awesome, that is why she's with him now and not me." Even though we had such a short relationship, and I was actually a little relieved when it ended, it still kind of hurts and makes me feel jealous now. Also, I still feel incredibly guilty about the rebound thing, and wonder if there aren't, after all this, maybe a few residual feelings that haven't died yet (though they surely will!). I wonder if it's normal for people to feel this way, even about ex's they weren't that strongly attached to? And while I assume it will go away with time, what can I do in the mean time? I'm nervous now of meeting another girl, because what if that's also a rebound and the same thing happens? And how can I stop feeling jealous and focusing on this new guy, who's maybe not even that great - I only know his name and twitter profile? Thank you to anyone who reads this post. I'd be interested to hear if anyone has ever been in a similar situation? Edited March 25, 2014 by guyed21
todreaminblue Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Most relationships i hav ebeen in have been rebounds....my longest was fifteen years....the one i am in now is a rebound...i have feelings for someone else(who i wasn't in a relationship with at all)......its still a rebound on the emotional front.......anywhere where feelings are involved for someone else other than your partner....the best way to avoid this is to not have feelings for someone else before starting something with another....unfortunately this doesnt happen for me.....my feelings are always residual.......i wish that it wasnt this way i do put all i can in to the relationship[ i am in......i am loyal....i avoid contact with the person i have feelings for......i can only be friends with a person i have split up with, if there are no intimate feelings on my behalf........ what you feel i am guessing is jealousy....you just need to have no contact with this woman who is now with someone else, concentrate on you for a while, do the things you love to do and those feelings which were not strong to begin with, will fade with time........you are lucky in that respect....i wish you well.....deb
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