Herodotus Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Had a 3+ year relationship in my late 20s. All was smooth until 3 months before end, she faded out and then dumped me. Through the grapevine and in hindsight I'm pretty sure cheated in that time too. This was my first real love, couldn't have asked for anything more. When she dumped me, she said I was a great guy and a great boyfriend, that I didn't do anything wrong. She couldn't give a reason for it though, just said she felt different. This devastated me, we had briefly talked about marriage before and I didn't see it coming at time (love blinders). I was crushed, finished school but moved back home after, went NC for a year then sent 1 email but nothing else since then. It's been 5 years since she broke up with me, in that time I moved to a different continent, have a decent job, have been working out, trying new hobbies, etc. The problem is I still think of her every day and in the past couple months it's gotten really bad, like the wounds are reopening or something. It feels like it did when she first dumped me. I can't eat or sleep right, cry all the time, and am depressed in general. For past 3 years I was doing better, still thought of her a lot but had my life together or so I thought. But now it feels like I'm back to square 1 and I don't know what to do. I figure pain will never entirely go away, but this is almost unbearable, it's like reliving the breakup all over again. Any advice greatly appreciated.
Ajax Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Most people have an ex cross their mind from time to time, even years later. But if it's this raw five years after the breakup, and causing this much disruption in your life, then I think it's time for some professional counseling. 2
jphcbpa Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 perhaps some childhood wounds coming up via her. agree, see a professional to process this. this is a good thing so do not beat yourself up.
robbysurfs Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 There is a good book I read or listen to the audio tape by ekhart tolle called the power of now it changed my life dude. Oh, and maybe try and date seriously she is not the only women in the world. There are so many available nice beautiful women out there. Don't settle for the fake one you have built up in your mind. Be here be now, and search yourself you know this to be true. How your doing and how your feeling are two different things. You are not your mind my man. Take a action anyone, and focus on the world around you and you will find peace life is to dam short!
Mr Scorpio Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I think that after five-years it is likely that your depression is not being caused by the loss of your ex. Did anything major happen to you near the 3 year mark, when you were lasting doing better?
Author Herodotus Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 Nothing happened recently, that's why it's got me so confused. I have had depression issues in the past though. I've been living in Asia the past few years and thought that had helped me get past everything, it definitely helped me grow as a person, but out of nowhere the old situation reared its head again. To be honest i havent dated anyone since breaking up, gone out here and there just nothing has worked out. Had some ONSs, found them unenjoyable. Have only had a couple dates and wasn't feeling it. I was ok with that until lately when old issues resurfaced.
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