Mommame2 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 The past weekend....my husband almost getting catfished. The whole situation led me to this question. DH told me that he was contacted by a woman for his consulting work... On FB direct message. He didn't tell me who she was etc. he was messaging back and forth with her... I noticed him repeatedly on the phone. He finally got inquisitive about her because she started talking about personal things. ( he didn't tell me this, I later found out). Well he found out quickly that this "hot woman" was not legit because he told me that she was claiming to know ME and it threw him off. So I tried to friend the woman .. And the person/FB page vanished. He got mad at me for trying to friend her because he said I made her disappear before he could figure out who she is. Anyway... He didn't realize that he left their chat open on the computer. HE didn't really say anything inappropriate because I think he got suspicious. But SHE was talking about how she wanted him to take her under his wing... Then talking about how she was laying around drinking wine... Enjoying talking to him. And eventually mentioned sex. He NEVER told me any of that. And then the next day... Asked me if I thought my 67 YEAR OLD MOTHER could be responsible for the catfish attempt? He was wondering if maybe she created a fake FB site and tried to reel him in?!? I was SO ANGRY that he would say this to me... I'm just do disturbed by the whole thing. What does an objective person think of this scenario?
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Your mother was a good guess. Perhaps another of your relatives or a close friend? Who else would do something like that? If i were him, The only question I would have is whether you were part of it or at least knew about it.
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 The past weekend....my husband almost getting catfished. ... Anyway... He didn't realize that he left their chat open on the computer. HE didn't really say anything inappropriate because I think he got suspicious. The fact that you assumed he would have said something inappropriate if he had not gotten suspicious makes me think you might have been part of this failed sting operation.
Author Mommame2 Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 ME? No ...I absolutely have no connection to it. It actually ended up happening to several of his FB friends too... But, no I had no connection. And NO my 67 year old mother would not have the ability either. The reason I was suspicious is because I know that he's left his chat open before (It has been awhile) and he's told his old high school girlfriend how much he missed her etc. I feel like online chat is an area of concern for him...
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Here are a few potential scenarios: 1) someone protective of you is trying to 'catch him cheating' so they can show you what a dirty dog he is. 2) some mutual Facebook friend with a wierd send of humor and too much time on his/her hands is having some fun at his expense. 3) some woman you both know wants to have an affair with him and was testing things out to see if he was open to the idea My initial guess was #1, but 2 is certainly possible if this has happened to his other FB friends. 3 is technically possible, but unlikely. That's all I can think of right now.
Author Mommame2 Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 I guess I just found it outlandish to accuse my mother of doing such a thing... I mean she's 67 years old and not close to either of us. It just felt like a weird moment in outer space...almost like saying "do you think President Obama might have done this?" But he was NOT joking. He was dead serious.
Quiet Storm Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Did your mom know about the chat with his old girlfriend? Maybe he thinks your mom is trying to catch him cheating. If kids can set up fake Facebooks, I think a 67 year old woman can do it. Another possibility is that a bored, lonely, mentally ill person is having fun causing drama. The internet gives the unbalanced a path into our lives. They can be whoever they decide to be that day. They get interaction, attention, entertainment, drama. And then they can disappear at the click of a button. Facebook is a drama queen's paradise. And your husband needs to have better boundaries. Not shutting her down, to try and figure out who it was? I call BS on that one. He was getting something out of it, too, I believe. 2
InnocentMan Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Talking to randoms on Facebook is asking for trouble. Would expect that from a teenager, not a grown married man. 3
Author Mommame2 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 Exactly. I mean he was acting like this woman was going to give him a 10k contract from a few messages that also included conversations about her drinking wine and loving "learning from him on a Sunday afternoon".
Silly_Girl Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I'm not sure it matters at all who she/it is/was. He wasn't upfront with about the content, he got carried away (cross with your for spoiling things) and it's happened before with his ex. I think you need to understand what's going on for him, and what he's looking for subconsciously. It does sound like teenage behaviour and in your shoes would wind me up. 1
Author Mommame2 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 Well, the content he left out... Was related to sex. She was telling him that she was a divorce consultant and wanted him of shoot videos with people talking about how a lack of sex causes divorce. Them she asked him if he could relate. He didn't really respond to that answer but be continued the conversation. He does not know that I know ... He received those messages. But who in their right mind thinks that is a legitimate business offer?
Silly_Girl Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I don't think he does. He was intrigued and liked the thrill/attention. He's just trying to mitigate the damage by suggesting he had legit reason to continue the communication. 2
TXGuy Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Well, the content he left out... Was related to sex. She was telling him that she was a divorce consultant and wanted him of shoot videos with people talking about how a lack of sex causes divorce. Them she asked him if he could relate. He didn't really respond to that answer but be continued the conversation. He does not know that I know ... He received those messages. But who in their right mind thinks that is a legitimate business offer? It looks to me like he was keeping his end of the conversation professional. The way you described her proposal sounds fishy, but still plausible. Does your job bring in so much cash to the marriage that he can discard potential clients? It's obvious that you do not respect, like, or trust your husband. You seem to be looking for an excuse to badger him or divorce him (that's why I assume you or someone in your social circle is involved). You don't need a specific reason to divorce him. All 50 states (and most western countries) have no-fault divorce now. Fault will not affect child custody and rarely affects spousal support to asset distribution. You don't have to find a smoking gun (planted or otherwise) to get out of this marriage you are clearly unhappy with.
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