argyle Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Hey Everyone! I've been with my S/O for almost 1.5 years now. We've had our ruff times, like every couple but we love each other very much. She tells me that she loves me very much and that i'm the most important thing to her... and I wanna beileive her but sometimes I just can't. I mean like i'm the type of person to notice the little things, things I wouldn't say out loud because some people might find them stupid, but hey its the little things that count right? She made a phone list of her most frequently dialed numbers, and it went family first, then her friend that she's only known for a couple of months, then me, then her boss. I was like number 9 on the list. It bothered me how could I be the most important person when im one above her boss? And she talks to me about starting a life together and getting a place together, and then all the sudden she wants to get a place with her friend the one shes only known for a few months. Which she complains about alot. She wants to get a place for all 3 of us which I can deal with, im a little cautious about it. But she wants to get 3 bedrooms. She says we will sleep in the same bed she just wants to have her own bedroom!? Is that weird to anyone else? And two weeks ago it was my birthday, and well she was having a busy week which I understand, but the day of my birthday, we didnt do anything and she didnt have a gift for me. I'm not a material person so I don't care about gifts but anything would have done just to show she cared and took time to think about it. I mean I planned and thought all my gifts long in advance because I was excited for her bday! But nothing not even a card! She was sick with a bad cold which I understand too, but she went to school and work and did homework alright? She took me out the next day and basically shopped with me asked me what I wanted and bought it for me. The night of my bday I went out had a few pitchers with my friends and came home to her and slept. So I guess it bothers me that she didn't take the time to even get me a card. Like even an E-Card they take two seconds and they are free! And what really bothers me is that she takes the time to plan ahead for her family but not me. I just don't like her saying im number 1 to her when im clearly not. And another thing any time my family comes to see us she or have a family event, she tries to get out of it, by saying "its your family event" "its okay I understand" She says she's uncomfortable around my family or she feels inadequate. I have to ask her almost forcefully to get her to come. And yet if the tables were turned she wouldnt even have to ask because I would expect she would want me to be there because I love her, and if were gonna have a future together family is involved! How does this sound to everyone? Anyone see how I feel or am I being stupid and overreacting?
Truth Hammer Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 Damn, man. What the hell DOES she do for you?
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 argyle... talk to your SO about all the things you have explained, don't be confrontational if you can as she will be defensive and possibly shocked! communicate with the girl! there are obviously things you two are not telling each other
ben3434 Posted January 29, 2005 Posted January 29, 2005 I also advise you to talk to her and try to explain things, the previous post said it right "dont confront her and make her feel like its her fault". Talk about how you guys need to work on things before you move in or get further into the relationship. It sounds to me like you love her and she just is accepting your love. I was in the same situation, kind of, but you just have to learn to back off, i think you guys need to take a step back before you take a step forward becasue it just seems like a relationship that is one sided. If i were in your situation i would... 1. Back off and not see her family when you just expect to see them 2. Ease up on getting her expensive gifts and such Basically what im trying to say is that you should give her some of her own medicine, this can be a bad idea in some relationships but in others it can work wonders cause then she will think you are not as into her anymore. Also, try talkin to her. P.S. Do you guys bicker a lot and have little arguments about nothing? Or she tries to retaliate when you do something by accident that might offend her?
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