someonespecial Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I went on my second date on Saturday with a shy guy that went well we had great communication. I even got a kiss on the cheek. I guess its a start. He asked me to go on a third date. Which I accepted. It will not be this weekend because he is big into basketball and wants to watch the playoffs which is fine with me. So we are going out the following weekend. How to do I keep him interested the next two weeks so that he will not forget about me? I also would like a little more physical contact during our next date like hand holding, etc. How do I proceed with that without being too forward. Since he is shy I don't want to push him. I am in my middle 30s he is 40.
Gaeta Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 He asked me to go on a third date. Which I accepted. It will not be this weekend because he is big into basketball and wants to watch the playoffs which is fine with me. So we are going out the following weekend. How to do I keep him interested the next two weeks so that he will not forget about me? You don't. I am not into basketball but I am SURE it's not playing 24 hours a day. He could have taken you out for breakfast Saturday or Sunday as a date, or to any afternoon activity. You are too pretty, too important, too damn fun to be waiting around on a guy that wants to watch basketball. If he has NO imagination to take you out next weekend then let someone else do it ! It's not your job to keep his attention. It's HIS job! 2
Author someonespecial Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 Gaeta: I actually have my kids on Saturday and Sunday so we couldnt go out those days. I was only available Friday and that was the day he had plans for the game.
Gaeta Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I find this very poor from a 40 y/o man. How about week nights? A movie on a Tuesday or Wednesday. You don't have to do anything to keep his attention. If he forgets about you then you did not have much of an impact on him to start with.
ja123 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Just ask him: "Do you think you'll still be interested in 2 weeks, if we don't see each other? Or will thins fizzle out?" Also, why can't you watch basketball with him?
ja123 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I find this very poor from a 40 y/o man. Hahaha Yeah, the guy does sound like a douche!
slizl Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 (edited) I have to defend this guy from all of the women posting here. Yes he is 40, but this is March Madness for Christ sake! It is the superbowl of college basketball. Let the guy have his time alone or with buddies. He will undestand when you have to flake for Macy's 50% off sale, understand when this tourney is going on. Okay, just re-read and it looks like it is the NBA playoffs, same thing, let the guy have his time (especially if his team is playing) Edited March 25, 2014 by slizl 2
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I have to defend this guy from all of the women posting here. Yes he is 40, but this is March Madness for Christ sake! It is the superbowl of college basketball. Let the guy have his time alone or with buddies. He will undestand when you have to flake for Macy's 50% off sale, understand when this tourney is going on. Okay, just re-read and it looks like it is the NBA playoffs, same thing, let the guy have his time (especially if his team is playing) NBA playoffs are later in the summer. OP is talking about NCAA playoffs aka March Madness. Which, yes, to some guys is on par with the Superbowl. So really he could have had a gettogether with some buddies planned months ago. Not sure but at the same time might wanna cut him some slack on this one...
Poppyolive Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I think we have level 10 clingers here. Everyone relax...I got this. OP Its only been two dates The third can't be for another wee bit...so what? You want to keep him interested...send him funny pics, ask him how his day is, send a song he may like or some funny video clip of something that's gone viral... Keep it light, fresh & fun. He has you keep you interested too.. On your next date be a Lil more forward and engaging, flirty hand touches etc don't wait til the end of the date if you see/feel an opportunity to smooch... This will open you up for some closeness, he's got to give to ...if he doesn't then maybe he's just not into you. Last thing you want is to be demanding his time and you're more important than the games... Etc etc..enjoy the funness of getting to know someone. 1
preraph Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 There's basically no point in making someone stay interested. It won't work in the long-term. So just be yourself. If you need more than he's giving after a decent introductory period, then he's never going to be enough for you either because he's just that laid back or not gregarious enough or whatever. Just be yourself and hope he is himself so you know if you like each other or not. No point in making something work if once you're past wanting to impress, things will only fall apart.
Gaeta Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 He's the one who's delaying the 3rd date so he should be the one worrying about keeping her attention. I would certainly not entertain him on text while he's making NO efforts to see me for 2 weeks. How does that Basketball thing works? It's 2 weeks long all night long?
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 He's the one who's delaying the 3rd date so he should be the one worrying about keeping her attention. I would certainly not entertain him on text while he's making NO efforts to see me for 2 weeks. How does that Basketball thing works? It's 2 weeks long all night long? It's a big tournament so there are lots and lots of games going on currently! I really don't see this as as big a deal as it's being made! OP just needs to relax and send him some occasional interesting texts if she wants to keep interest. 1
Sunfire73 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Agree with others that us women shouldn't keep a guy interested in the early stages of dating! They should be the pursuers! So you go on your own life and do your own thing. If he's interested after 2 weeks, then good. If not, it's not your fault or responsibility. And yes, even if he's shy. If you do want to pursue yourself, then make sure you want to keep up with it. As for March Madness, it's true. It goes on the whole weekend, so can't blame him for that.
Stay Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 He's the one who's delaying the 3rd date so he should be the one worrying about keeping her attention. I would certainly not entertain him on text while he's making NO efforts to see me for 2 weeks. How does that Basketball thing works? It's 2 weeks long all night long? It's a big tournament with the college basketball teams that only lasts a month so yea there are a lot of games being played. Guys who are really into sports usually watch the pre-game, sports center, the actual game, and post game. So yea those usually run all day especially with friends, food, and beer around it takes up all the time. OP just give it until March Madness is over and see if it's the same, if you get the same vibe then think twice about him.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Agree with others that us women shouldn't keep a guy interested in the early stages of dating! They should be the pursuers! So you go on your own life and do your own thing. If he's interested after 2 weeks, then good. If not, it's not your fault or responsibility. And yes, even if he's shy. If you do want to pursue yourself, then make sure you want to keep up with it. As for March Madness, it's true. It goes on the whole weekend, so can't blame him for that. Bah that's old school thinking and sexist. If people like each other they should both try to interest the other person. It should just flow naturally.
Fondue Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 You don't. I am not into basketball but I am SURE it's not playing 24 hours a day. He could have taken you out for breakfast Saturday or Sunday as a date, or to any afternoon activity. You are too pretty, too important, too damn fun to be waiting around on a guy that wants to watch basketball. If he has NO imagination to take you out next weekend then let someone else do it ! It's not your job to keep his attention. It's HIS job! I usually like your posts, but I have to disagree with you here big time. I'm not a fan of basketball or participate in any of this march-madness shenanigans, but I look at this way: It is a hobby. Just like you may have any other hobby. He enjoys sports and gets enjoyment/fulfillment out of it. I think it goes without saying that we encourage our dates to have interests outside the relationship (ESPECIALLY this early). It's a big red flag if someone doesn't have much going on in their life. Would it be any different if say he went on a weekend fishing trip with his buddies? And consider this fishing trip before date 3? Is it REALLY a big deal that he wants to take the weekend off from seeing her? I think you're making the guy out to be some sort of terrible person simply because you're looking at things in a very narrow minded way. THis "relationship" is super new, there is very little foundation there, and this isn't the time to get upset over him perusing her or whatnot. Just let things flow naturally and see where it lies. I think the OP should just let things play out themselves. If this man is keen on her, he will make it known.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I usually like your posts, but I have to disagree with you here big time. I'm not a fan of basketball or participate in any of this march-madness shenanigans, but I look at this way: It is a hobby. Just like you may have any other hobby. He enjoys sports and gets enjoyment/fulfillment out of it. I think it goes without saying that we encourage our dates to have interests outside the relationship (ESPECIALLY this early). It's a big red flag if someone doesn't have much going on in their life. Would it be any different if say he went on a weekend fishing trip with his buddies? And consider this fishing trip before date 3? Is it REALLY a big deal that he wants to take the weekend off from seeing her? I think you're making the guy out to be some sort of terrible person simply because you're looking at things in a very narrow minded way. THis "relationship" is super new, there is very little foundation there, and this isn't the time to get upset over him perusing her or whatnot. Just let things flow naturally and see where it lies. I think the OP should just let things play out themselves. If this man is keen on her, he will make it known. Agreed. If I was the guy dating the OP, this clinginess so early on would scare me a little.
Gaeta Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I usually like your posts, but I have to disagree with you here big time. I'm not a fan of basketball or participate in any of this march-madness shenanigans, but I look at this way: It is a hobby. Just like you may have any other hobby. He enjoys sports and gets enjoyment/fulfillment out of it. I think it goes without saying that we encourage our dates to have interests outside the relationship (ESPECIALLY this early). It's a big red flag if someone doesn't have much going on in their life. Would it be any different if say he went on a weekend fishing trip with his buddies? And consider this fishing trip before date 3? Is it REALLY a big deal that he wants to take the weekend off from seeing her? I think you're making the guy out to be some sort of terrible person simply because you're looking at things in a very narrow minded way. THis "relationship" is super new, there is very little foundation there, and this isn't the time to get upset over him perusing her or whatnot. Just let things flow naturally and see where it lies. I think the OP should just let things play out themselves. If this man is keen on her, he will make it known. I will try not to disappoint you next time Please note I did not say he should put his game aside right? I find it particular that in a full 2 weeks he cannot find a small window for her. Also, my real problem here is that OP feels she needs to keep his interest when it should be HIS problem to do so. He's the one putting the next date on hold for 2 weeks.
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Someonespecial Do you care about March Madness? If you do, the easiest way to keep him interested is talk about the tournament. Send a text or a link to an article. Compare your brackets to his etc. If he's that shy you may have to take the lead & grab his hand first. Seriously. You are both adults because in all honesty I was expecting you to be in college at most based on your Q. When I read your ages, my mouth fell open. 1
Stay Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I will try not to disappoint you next time Please note I did not say he should put his game aside right? I find it particular that in a full 2 weeks he cannot find a small window for her. Also, my real problem here is that OP feels she needs to keep his interest when it should be HIS problem to do so. He's the one putting the next date on hold for 2 weeks. Sometimes people are really busy during the weekdays and have weekend plans planned out weeks or months ahead. He shouldn't drop plans just for her. As much as I want to hang out with a girl sometimes work/school/plans schedule conflicts and it's hard to find free time for both parties. I wouldn't say he's not interested even if he isn't, we just can't really conclude anything without knowing his life. I had to schedule one of my dates 2 weeks after the other since I had a busy weekend and busy weekdays, doesn't mean I'm not interested I just don't have time to squeeze.
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