ripheart Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 (edited) I have kind of moved on.. still miss her at times.. We were 6 yrs together in a near perfect relationship and then she left me for someone else.. She is immature and yes I know she needs to grow up, the reason why I have let her go easily.. We were each others first, and we were not just like just a couple, we were best friends and she was like my family.. Eventhough I can point out 1000 things I hate about her, but I still greatly care about her.. And the passion and all that which comes with young love, the way she has loved me, the memories she has given me, it looks impossible to find those again or even forget it.. All I can think is I can cherish them and move on.. There will be many girls better than her, but just that rush, the way we used to feel about each other, the things hollywood flicks are made of, am I really going to experience all that again? Anyways I dont hate her.. Knowing her as much as I do, she fits the symptoms of GIGS perfectly.. And somewhere inside I have total faith she is going to grow up and come back better, start valuing us more.. But I cant wait for her and I am talking to girls, flirting with them, but as soon as they start showing serious interest, I kind of back off.. I still feel so committed.. Have been for 6 years so may be thats going to take time to stop doing that.. And the feeling I have got inside that she is coming back also kinda not helping.. Am actually always trying to sink in the feeling that I hate her, I dont want her back, made a list of why she was not good for me.. But it just does not happen.. Atleast not yet!! She is not a bitch.. I have tried to believe that cuz its easier that way but she is not.. She confessed to me everything.. And I listened to everything calmly.. She is hurting badly to hurt me, looks totally confused and irrational (her irrationality is really a big reason which gives me hope, she is in a mess and with time she will sort herself out plus the fact the new guy does not seem to be her type, she just seems to be in infatuation stage with him and I realised soon enough there is no point trying to logic with her cuz she wont listen, needs to find out herself), and she is really guilty of what she did to me, actually broke up because she could not really hurt me anymore and is not trying to keep me around although I know she misses me.. She did not say any of these, on contrary she has apologised as how big an as5h0le she is to do this to me but just assume am really good at reading signs and understanding people!! I am loving this different life in some ways too.. Lot of introspection, realizing things I have been missing out all this time, and I really now believe hard times makes us better personalities.. I want to seek some validation of what am going through? Is this fine? I want to forgive her, but she needs to make that effort now and am gonna make her work hard to get me back!! Good people do bad things at times, dont they? Edited March 25, 2014 by ripheart
Ph123 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 That sounds painful and I can relate. How long has it been since you guys broke up? The best thing you can do is to give yourself time to heal before you try to date again. In my experience, that only leads to more heartbreak either for you or the other person involved. It is great that you don't hate her and can see her faults clearly. If one day she does come back to you and has sorted out her issues and you still want her back, you can always give it another go. In the meantime, don't sit around hoping for that to happen - work on yourself and move on.. time heals and brings a lot of clarity. Have faith that if it's meant to be, it will be and if not, you will meet someone who will be better for you, and believe me, you will feel that same rush again. I really hope everything goes well for you
chados Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 These gigs syndrome threads. It is not a syndrome, it is people often young who gets tired if the same routin every day. Sometimes it makes sense and sometimes not. First relationship is almost bound to fail but that doesn't mean it can't be better later on in life with that person. It's hard to know what you want and how to act when everything goes smoothly all the time. Falling in to a depression or just being sad can be very useful further on in life. Learning what went wrong and how to prevent it. You seem to be doing pretty well compared to a lot of people. Things are gonna be better the day you really let go. Getting dumped the first time Is tough but you will get over it and see that there really are others out there
Author ripheart Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 That sounds painful and I can relate. How long has it been since you guys broke up? The best thing you can do is to give yourself time to heal before you try to date again. In my experience, that only leads to more heartbreak either for you or the other person involved. It is great that you don't hate her and can see her faults clearly. If one day she does come back to you and has sorted out her issues and you still want her back, you can always give it another go. In the meantime, don't sit around hoping for that to happen - work on yourself and move on.. time heals and brings a lot of clarity. Have faith that if it's meant to be, it will be and if not, you will meet someone who will be better for you, and believe me, you will feel that same rush again. I really hope everything goes well for you Not even two months yet... Have faith that if it's meant to be, it will be and if not, you will meet someone who will be better for you... Yes I totally believe in that, I am really positive by nature and I guess that helps.. I have not even tried avoiding her pics or gifts or stuffs like that, dint wanted to live in denial, have faced everything head on, have served my time grieving, even cried a lot, but I guess its more than 2 weeks since last I felt like crying.. I just really miss her at times like you would miss a close friend and thats all... And instead of hating her, I have tried my best to understand her, and I totally believe I get her better than she does herself.. that has helped me immensely to give me a clarity... Yes am also afraid to get into another relationship, I just want to, but I know its never gonna go well, so subconsciously I just backoff whenever I start getting reaction!! P.S.: I never miss out on hanging out with friends, always looking to make more friends, hitting gym harder than ever
Author ripheart Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) These gigs syndrome threads. It is not a syndrome, it is people often young who gets tired if the same routin every day. Sometimes it makes sense and sometimes not. First relationship is almost bound to fail but that doesn't mean it can't be better later on in life with that person. It's hard to know what you want and how to act when everything goes smoothly all the time. Falling in to a depression or just being sad can be very useful further on in life. Learning what went wrong and how to prevent it. You seem to be doing pretty well compared to a lot of people. Things are gonna be better the day you really let go. Getting dumped the first time Is tough but you will get over it and see that there really are others out there Yup I dont really believe its some syndrome but there is another post on enotalone about GIGS by some centrino and its so bang on to my situation. Whatever this thing is, what i do understand is its fairly common and am not an isolated case, that actually helps to move on ... Our relationship, it did not fail.. She was obsessed about getting married 8 months back, and had we been together, we would have got married this year!! And now even in hindsight, I think am a better person because of her.. She has taught me how to love yourself, how to enjoy life to the fullest... And I know I have made a great impact in her life too for better.. Even if we never are again together, I truly believe we will still be better people because of what we had once... And that she had a role in my life, it got over and so she went.. And I still genuinely want her to be happy.. She is in a messier situation than me in the long run, its already has started hurting her as what she has done, and its just gonna increase.. Thanks I really wanted to hear that am doing pretty well.. I have been strong for too long, and hearing those things keeps me going!! Edited March 26, 2014 by ripheart
d0nnivain Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 It's time to take off your rose colored glasses & face up to some harsh realities. 1. The relationship is over. Your childhood 1st love did not survive the transition to adulthood. 2. Your relationship was not perfect. There is no such thing as perfect & if the relationship had been perfect you would not have broken up. You certainly would not have found 1000 things to hate about her. 3. She's not coming back. She is off to find her adult love. You should look for yours. 4. She is not your family. It's wonderful that you are not bitter. I hope you never lose that optimism. However, life is not a romance novel. There's no magic & fairy dust. The lovers don't always ride off into the sunset together.
Author ripheart Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 (edited) It's time to take off your rose colored glasses & face up to some harsh realities. 1. The relationship is over. Your childhood 1st love did not survive the transition to adulthood. 2. Your relationship was not perfect. There is no such thing as perfect & if the relationship had been perfect you would not have broken up. You certainly would not have found 1000 things to hate about her. 3. She's not coming back. She is off to find her adult love. You should look for yours. 4. She is not your family. It's wonderful that you are not bitter. I hope you never lose that optimism. However, life is not a romance novel. There's no magic & fairy dust. The lovers don't always ride off into the sunset together. While I know where you are coming from, I know its not perfect and am not expecting it to be.. Thats why am letting her do a mistake and grow up.. And there is not exactly 1000 things, its meant to say i can take out littlest faults if I want to, but the good qualities set her apart.. She is not my family, but she is close enough.. We are mutually in nc, decided we cant be friends, but I have no doubt the day we both are totally healed and at right places, we can be friends for life .. And you know why I am relaxed and cool about this instead of going crazy, cuz I still know she has not really moved on from me, I can still see love ( and hurt for hurting me like this)for me even if its less than the love she feels for him right now, I cant compete against novelty I know.. But I just know they are never going to work and that gives me peace of mind.. That ultimately decision will be mine to take her back or not.. I may be completely wrong and it can totally be my fu(ked up mind, I have seen people living in total denial and believing what they think is right.. Believe me am trying actually to think how she is never gonna back, what a bitch she is, but its all what am trying.. Its not really what I feel inside.. And am just being really honest about my feelings here, right or wrong only time can tell .. Thanks again cuz thats exact the same advice I try giving to myself or will give to anyone going through my situation but this response is what I really feel!! Edited March 26, 2014 by ripheart
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