Why I hate one-night-stands..

[Soundsystem00]

Mannn.. I hate one night stands.

 

So I just got out of a really bad heartbreak from a long term relationship about a month ago. I am starting to feel better. Have been keeping my mind busy with my art and my music. I am a DJ and have been getting a lot of fun gigs lately, also am an artist an have been selling my art successfully.

 

Well I have been using this dating app called "tinder".. I don't really take it serious and have never met anyone on there. Well I got matched with this girl who likes a lot of the same music as me. She seemed cool. I had a big DJ gig the other night and told her she is welcome to stop by. I didn't think much of it but she showed up. Since I was guest DJ at this gig, I had free drink tickets. I gave them to her since I don't drink. Then when I DJ'd I did really really well.

 

I'm guessing it was a good first-date because when I went to say by to her, she kissed me. I have never had the girl make the first move on a first date, so that was nice. Then after I got home she texted me saying she wants to kiss me again. I said OK so she came over and we messed around a bit but didn't have sex.

 

The next day she came over and we had sex. The sex was not so good. She was explosive, spastic, and overly loud. she was pulling my cock so hard that I thought it was gonna disconnect from my body. Maybe I just couldn't handle it, but in my experience, it seems over the top and novice. Other than the sex she seems like a good girl and still didn't want to give up after that. Well she has been very flaky ever since then.

 

Maybe she feels embarassed? Or maybe she thinks I wasn't good in the sack? I really think it is the other way around, but who knows.. Maybe I wasn't good, but I went a long time and tried my best to even keep my cock inside her, which was quite a ****ing task to be honest.

 

Well now, the heartbreak of my previous relationship seems to have snowballed, and here I am feeling even worse than before. Why? I got laid right? Well it wasn't that great and now I feel like ****. I thought I had finally gotten over that psycho and found a good girl, and she flakes out. This girl was hot stuff.. Tall, curvy, tan, covered in tatoos, nice lips, nice teeth, funny, everything.. Should I just not date at all? Just stop?

 

So frustrated. If you have even made it this far in the story, thank you for reading. I am proud of my story-telling skills on this one. Input would be highly respected and appreciated!

 

-matt:(

Edited March 25, 2014 by Soundsystem00

[topaMAXX]

Dude, I've said this to many posters on here.

 

If a girl is willing to put out so fast (especially from a dating website), don't expect anything more from her.

 

There are girls for relationships and girls for sex. This one is just for sex. Disconnect those emotions right now.

[GemmaUK]

Just put it down to a bad experience.

 

We've all been there in one way or another!

 

It sounds like she was over-acting to me and that would be pretty difficult for anyone to get through!

 

My ex dated a girl before he met me, she got nick named 'The Howler' and he ended up finishing with her because he couldn't take it any more, plus he was getting complaints from the guys he shared the house with.

She apparently howled...life a wolf!

 

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on as you were. Sounds like your life is taking a positive turn for you! Focus on the good stuff, dwelling on the bad isn't worth the energy.

[mortensorchid]

Dude, it doesn't sound like it was very deep to begin with. Plus you met her on that Tinder thing. That was one of the stranger things that happened to me in recent years. I did meet one guy, we got together twice as he seemed alright. He waited until we were texting after our second get together to tell me he was divorced with four kids all under age 12. Needless to say I rejected him.

[Soundsystem00]

Dude, I've said this to many posters on here.

 

If a girl is willing to put out so fast (especially from a dating website), don't expect anything more from her.

 

There are girls for relationships and girls for sex. This one is just for sex. Disconnect those emotions right now.

 

I'm trying to. And I want to. But god she was so beautiful and so cool. and I wanted so bad to have a fresh start. I know it will happen eventually but man dude.

 

Just put it down to a bad experience.

 

We've all been there in one way or another!

 

It sounds like she was over-acting to me and that would be pretty difficult for anyone to get through!

 

My ex dated a girl before he met me, she got nick named 'The Howler' and he ended up finishing with her because he couldn't take it any more, plus he was getting complaints from the guys he shared the house with.

She apparently howled...life a wolf!

 

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on as you were. Sounds like your life is taking a positive turn for you! Focus on the good stuff, dwelling on the bad isn't worth the energy.

 

The howler! haha! Yeah she was acting way too crazy, like she hadn't had sex in year. I don't know WHAT her deal was. I tried to flip her on her stomach so she wouldn't flop around so much. that seemed to work but she didn't want to stay that way for long.

 

You are right, I have a lot of stuff going for me. I got an amazing new job. Today was my first day and I couldn't even focus because I was so lost in thought about this situation. That's how deep I am invested already. I guess I'm the romantic type. I should have saw the warning signs, and I did, but I, like most human beings, still went full force.

 

Why do you think she is flaking out? From her facebook posts she seems like a whore. Just being honest. She probably found another guy to ****, and another guy whos cock she can abuse.

[GemmaUK]

The howler! haha! Yeah she was acting way too crazy, like she hadn't had sex in year. I don't know WHAT her deal was. I tried to flip her on her stomach so she wouldn't flop around so much. that seemed to work but she didn't want to stay that way for long.

 

You are right, I have a lot of stuff going for me. I got an amazing new job. Today was my first day and I couldn't even focus because I was so lost in thought about this situation. That's how deep I am invested already. I guess I'm the romantic type. I should have saw the warning signs, and I did, but I, like most human beings, still went full force.

 

Why do you think she is flaking out? From her facebook posts she seems like a whore. Just being honest. She probably found another guy to ****, and another guy whos cock she can abuse.

 

So sorry..but your story just mae me giggle! Well..you can certainly put it own to experience!

 

Why she has gone quiet...

If she posts on FB as if she is that way then you could well be right, plus she did initiate this when you were home and considered the night to be over.

I've read one or two dating guides for women over the years and one thing they say is not to act like a porn queen (yes they actually write this down which must mean some women actually do act like porn queensit!!! - it isn't natural behaviour - it's just wierd!

I think maybe she tried too hard to 'be amazing in bed' and possibly feels a bit embarrassed. (though she could be blissfully unaware of that and you might just be another notch on her bedpost!).

[Soundsystem00]

So sorry..but your story just mae me giggle! Well..you can certainly put it own to experience!

 

Why she has gone quiet...

If she posts on FB as if she is that way then you could well be right, plus she did initiate this when you were home and considered the night to be over.

I've read one or two dating guides for women over the years and one thing they say is not to act like a porn queen (yes they actually write this down which must mean some women actually do act like porn queensit!!! - it isn't natural behaviour - it's just wierd!

I think maybe she tried too hard to 'be amazing in bed' and possibly feels a bit embarrassed. (though she could be blissfully unaware of that and you might just be another notch on her bedpost!).

 

It's ok gemmaUK! I meant for it to be funny. Might as well get a laugh out of this disappointing experience. It's an attempt at making myself feel better, along with everyones excellent advice.

 

She just seriously does not seem like the whore type. I mean yeah, she did put out pretty quick. but I think she was just THAT blown away. She really is pretty dorky, and I just cannot picture her being a whore. But maybe shes a dorky-whore. A whork.

 

BTW, being from the UK you like drum and bass, right?

[Hello_is_it_me]

It's ok gemmaUK! I meant for it to be funny. Might as well get a laugh out of this disappointing experience. It's an attempt at making myself feel better, along with everyones excellent advice.

 

She just seriously does not seem like the whore type. I mean yeah, she did put out pretty quick. but I think she was just THAT blown away. She really is pretty dorky, and I just cannot picture her being a whore. But maybe shes a dorky-whore. A whork.

 

BTW, being from the UK you like drum and bass, right?

 

she could be a hipster whore. A tricky breed to decipher, indeed!

[kaylan]

Dude look. Youre both pretty easy considering what happened. That said, you cannot expect much with a girl you barely know. Sex happened, take it for what it is, and learn from it. Next time, if youre looking for more than sex, dont sleep with women so quickly

 

Its the same thing I tell to women who dislike quick and brief flings.

[Soundsystem00]

Dude look. Youre both pretty easy considering what happened. That said, you cannot expect much with a girl you barely know. Sex happened, take it for what it is, and learn from it. Next time, if youre looking for more than sex, dont sleep with women so quickly

 

Its the same thing I tell to women who dislike quick and brief flings.

 

I know man. I was thinking that too. But at the rate things were going, I felt like if I didn't have sex with her, what if she flakes out and I get no sex?

[GemmaUK]

It's ok gemmaUK! I meant for it to be funny. Might as well get a laugh out of this disappointing experience. It's an attempt at making myself feel better, along with everyones excellent advice.

 

She just seriously does not seem like the whore type. I mean yeah, she did put out pretty quick. but I think she was just THAT blown away. She really is pretty dorky, and I just cannot picture her being a whore. But maybe shes a dorky-whore. A whork.

 

BTW, being from the UK you like drum and bass, right?

 

Oh poor girl! I think she might be learning the hard way! *cringes*

 

Drum & Base? No way! That's far too up to date for me! :laugh:I like US Punk & SKA!

[Soundsystem00]

Oh poor girl! I think she might be learning the hard way! *cringes*

 

Drum & Base? No way! That's far too up to date for me! :laugh:I like US Punk & SKA!

 

Operation ivy and nofx? The same artists this girl favored. That made me like her. Ugh. And no this isn't a pass at you.

 

How is she learning the hard way?

[GemmaUK]

Operation ivy and nofx? The same artists this girl favored. That made me like her. Ugh. And no this isn't a pass at you.

 

How is she learning the hard way?

 

 

*googles Operation Ivy*

 

NOFX? Yes! The best gig I saw of their's was at Reading Festival (a good few years back now though).

Also, Rancid and Bad Religion (and a bit of Green Day but I don't like to admit that - it's too embarrassing).

 

The hard way by trying too hard to act and be the kind of person she thinks men are looking for.

If she is geeky/dorky she might have reinvented herself into the tanned beauty (possibly with added fakery) that she is. I have no doubt she is beautiful but I bet she is more beautiful just as nature made her.

[Mo_Do]

You got out of a relationship a MONTH ago?

 

Step back and don't even bother with this stuff man - as you're seeing, it only makes it worse.

 

I'd continue to focus on the other things you're into while you heal up in the relationship dept.

[Soundsystem00]

THIS. She's not a quality woman.

 

Now, listen to me. I'm not saying that women who put out on the first or second date are not quality women but from your story, it sounds like she was purely in it for sex. That and you met her on Tinder so go figure.

 

If you want more from a woman who only wants sex from you, you're only setting yourself up for heartbreak which is what you're experiencing right now.

 

Anyway, chalk this one up and throw it in the garbage can. It's done and dusted. Pick yourself up and move on. No need to spend another second mulling over it and depressing yourself. She's not your first and won't be your last.

 

You got out of a relationship a MONTH ago?

 

Step back and don't even bother with this stuff man - as you're seeing, it only makes it worse.

 

I'd continue to focus on the other things you're into while you heal up in the relationship dept.

 

Good good good ****!!!!

 

And btw... How can you know rancid and not know operation ivy? Tsk tsk.

[GemmaUK]

Good good good ****!!!!

 

And btw... How can you know rancid and not know operation ivy? Tsk tsk.

 

.....I am actually quite appalled at myself for not having found them before now...

I'm liking what I'm hearing though...so thanks for the heads up kind sir!

[GoreSP]

I hate ONS too. I hate it when the person disappears after sex - but this is what happens is most ONS - so I stopped having them.

 

Find yourself a cute FWB instead or just masturbate

[David87]

I hate ONS too. I hate it when the person disappears after sex - but this is what happens is most ONS - so I stopped having them.

 

Find yourself a cute FWB instead or just masturbate

 

Very good advice, FWB neah ...

[Marks]

Dude, this is so glaringly obvious that I'm surprised no one has mentioned this yet...

 

She just wanted to **ck the DJ.

 

 

Source: a guy who DJs and associates with other DJs.

[GoreSP]

Dude, this is so glaringly obvious that I'm surprised no one has mentioned this yet...

 

She just wanted to **ck the DJ.

 

 

Source: a guy who DJs and associates with other DJs.

 

Funny, I thought of that while I was reading his post but didn't think to mention it...

 

 

I guess I figured it was obvious...

lol

 

 

if OP isn't looking fro a relationship, I'm sure he won't have any problems finding a FWB among the little ladies hanging out at the club.

[Soundsystem00]

What is FWB?

[smackie9]

So what you had just ONE bad experience. Don't base this as to what's going to happen next time you meet someone. Not everyone is a nut job. You are going to meet good ones, and you are going to meet not so good ones. How about starting out with just going out on dates instead of booty calls.

[jay1983]

It's no big deal man. I've got some much uglier stories than this lol.

[Leigh 87]

Come on now, you cannot expect a relationship or anything "deep" after a month fresh out of a break up.

 

 

I was thrilled a month after my break up, I was free of my idiot ex and I was SO happy that I was free to find a guy who would truly appreciate me and be into me (ex was never in love with me after years together).

Even so, I was NOT ready to ... get into anything remotely "deep" after our break up for a good... 6 months. I just sabotaged anything I started within that time frame.

I was no longer in love with him but I still deeply cared/still do care for him as a person, and I would still cry about the fact I lost a person I was once extremely close to/lived with/had dogs with.

 

My friend and I broke up with our exes mid last year yet we would still get a tad teary if we read through old messages between us and our exes. We had a life with them and it is literally like mourning a loss of a loved one who passes (although not as severe of course).

You go from every day contact to NO contact. It is a lot to get over.

 

You need more time before you mess around with other girls, you sound confused and not ready yet to even get some action. You WAY over analyse it!

It is just sex! HUGE red flag that you were thinking about it AFTER the fact.... sex with a stranger!

 

What I did, was: go overseas for a month, went to a weird place like Russia during my travels and hooked up with a few guys.

It is way out of my character to have FWB, yet after my break up it is what I needed, I wanted to experiment and see what sort of a woman I was and what sort of sexual arrangements I could handle.

 

Can YOU handle FWB normally? Not all guys enjoy casual sex.

Is it because of your break up? Are you trying to distract yourself from the hurt surrounding your break up?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Think about whether or not you can handle casual sex even without your recent break up in the picture. DO you normally think this much about random strangers you sleep with?

[Leigh 87]

It's no big deal man. I've got some much uglier stories than this lol.

 

 

Care to share?